The Brothers of Ishval
by vildtiger
Summary: After Alphonse returned back from Xing, he tells Scar about a man having the same array as him on the left arm, the right one missing, and has some resembles him in appearance. Scar knows only one person who has those traits, and that is his older brother. The first alchemist of Ishval. A story where Scar's brother survived the Ishvalen War.
1. Shade

**If there is one character I adore and wishes had more screentime in both Manga and Brotherhood; it has to be Scar's brother. And there are unfortunately not much fanart or stories about him either, so I decided to write a story.**

 **This story happens in the Brotherhood/manga universe, about three years after the Promise Day.**

 **Some of the characters might become a bit Oc, but I will try my hardest not to make that happen.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Deep inside a forest made solely out of bamboo, a group of four sit in cover from the heavy rain that at times falls in such a humid place as Xing.

A man in his mid-thirties with glasses and light brown hair comments somewhat relievedly, "Man, good thing the two of you can do alchemy, otherwise we would've been soaked in seconds." His partner, a black, somewhat chubby man, nods in agreement.

One of the two who transmuted this makeshift cover for the rain smiles weakly; he's a young man with bright blond hair and golden eyes. "Can't have us end up with a cold when we're this close to the Wang clan." He would like to be presentable for one of the oldest daughters of the late emperor. He blinks, and the smile fades when he notices that the only female in the group, who also happens to be his girlfriend and a princess of the former emperor as well looked quite troubled. "What's wrong, Mei?" he asks her worriedly, knowing from experience that the many families don't fancy one another one bit, even though that should've changed when Ling took the throne. Now the families are supposed to be friendly against one another. But he guesses old rivalry dies hard. "Are you worried about the Wang clan?"

Mei nods gravely; her pet panda Xiao-Mei copies her movements as the teenager explains to the three others, "The Wang clan has long been the emperor's favorite clan and his favorite daughter. Many were sure that Li Wang would claim the title as empress, but I am happy she didn't. From what I heard, the Wang clan flourishes on conflicts with the neighboring clans." So the princess of that clan must be just as bad, right?

"Guess we can't expect much of a warm welcome, then," the chubby black man named Jerso muses.

His partner Zampano asks the girl, "Can't we simply visit some of the other clans instead?"

Mei shakes her head. "No, the Wang has one of the best Alkahestry scrolls about the dragon pulse." She figures this place might help since she has so far failed in making Alphonse understand her way of reading the life flow of the earth. She does not like going, but hopefully, the Wang clan has eased up on their hostile behavior now that the new emperor protects her clan.

Suddenly a scream echoes through the forest, making the group snap their attention towards where the sound came from. Zampano, the one closest to the opening of their shelter, looks out and spots a young child fleeing from three people who are dressed very closely to Lan Fan, the bodyguard of the new emperor, but it is clear those three people are not Lan Fan since all of them are male and out for blood.

"Assassins!" Mei tells them, horrified, and from how they are chasing the child, it is clear this child must be a close relative of the Wang clan's chief.

Alphonse springs to action. "We gotta help her!" He chases the three assassins who try to kill this defenseless and very horrified child. Zampano, Jerso, and Mei quickly follow.

Alphonse claps his hands and uses his alchemy to make a cluster of the bamboo whack one of the assassins off-balance and before that guy could recover, Mei kicks him hard over the head, knocking him out. The two others assassins notice it but don't stop their chase after this defenseless child. Jerso chooses to risk it and transforms into his chimera form of a yellow frog and uses his extremely sticky saliva to catch and trap the second one, but they are unable to catch the third who swiftly jumps over to the child, grabs her and pulls out the knife.

The child screams in terror but is unable to get away.

However, before he can finish the task, a beaming sound of alchemy and the earth itself attacks the assassin, throwing him away from the crying child to get then trapped by the palm of a man with a left arm sparking with alchemy. Alphonse freezes up when he spots a very familiar tattoo array on this newcomer's left arm: it looks a tad too familiar to Scar's for comfort. Could this be? No, Scar should still be in Ishval along with Major Miles. The man slams the assassin onto the ground and transmutes the soil around the assassin, trapping him.

"Daddy!" The child calls and runs crying over to the man who pulls her into a hug. The group notices that this man has silver hair and brown skin, but the damning proof of what he is gets revealed when the man turns to them with those striking red eyes, slightly hidden by a pair of glasses.

"Thank you for saving my daughter." The red eyes land on the transformed. Jerso. "... whatever you are." He doesn't look scared, though, more flabbergasted in an attempt to figure out what this humanoid creature is.

"No problem, mister," Jerso replies, a bit surprised how calmly this man takes his chimera form.

And Zampano asks the man, "Say, what's an Ishvalan doing this far East?"

The Ishvalan blinks. "Ishvalan?"

Now it's the group turn to blink in confusion and Jerso mutters to the others, "Should be one, brown skin and red eyes, no doubt about it."

"If you say I'm an Ishvalan, then I take your word for it," the man tells them with a shrug, catching the group a bit off guard and he enlightens them as to why he said it. "You see, I don't have any memories of my former life. Name's Shade; at least for now." And he offers them his right hand—his automail hand.

Alphonse shakes it. "Nice to meet you Shade, I'm Alphonse Elric."

"I'm Mei Chang." Mei bows in her sign of hello, to then nod at the panda on her shoulder. "And this is Xiao-Mei."

"Zampano."

"Jerso." The frog chimera turns back into human form, making the also red-eyed child stare at him in awe.

Shade gives the two chimeras a respectful nod before asking the whole group, "So, where are you heading?"

"To the Wang clan," Alphonse replies. "I was hoping to ask them to enter their library."

"What a coincidence," Shade laughs lightly. "I happen to live there. I'm sure I can put in a good word for you." He lifts his daughter onto his shoulders, telling them, "You four have after all saved the daughter of the Wang princess."

"Princess?" they exclaim in shock, with Mei remarking in realization, "That explains why those assassins tried to kill her."

Shade nods. "Yes." His expression has turned sad. "The assassins have been very set on removing the main source of the Wang clan's power." Eyeing the small girl half-sleeping up against his head, he adds in a softer voice, "The chief has been reluctant on giving my girl any protection, more set on protecting his younger daughters since they too are in danger now that the new emperor will soon choose his wives. So I have been forced to step up as her personal bodyguard, which isn't easy let me tell you. I have no training in combat."

"Man, that's harsh," Jerso muses, he glances back to the still trapped assassin. "At least you make up for it in alchemy."

Shade smiles proudly hearing this, but quickly brushes it aside, and tells the group, "Anyway, I am sure the chief will let you stay. Just..." His eyes land on Mei, "Don't tell him what clan you're from: he's still very touchy about that subject."

Mei nods that she understands. They follow Shade back to the village; here he returns his daughter to what Alphonse presumes is the girl's mother, but reconsider when Shade shows no signs of affection towards that woman as he does his daughter and this other pale-skinned and green-eyed girl there, who is a few years younger than Al.

"This is my second daughter," Shade introduces the second child, putting his automail arm on her shoulder. "Selena, this is Alphonse, Mei, Zampano, and Jerso," he introduces his teenage daughter to the group. "They saved your younger sister from the assassins."

And that made them alright in her book. "Thank you very much," Selena says, giving them a respectful bow before turning to her father. "Dad, when those assassins attacked, they blew up half our house..."

Shade nods and asks the group for their patience. "I need to fix the house—"

"I can help," Alphonse offers and explains he too is an alchemist.

Shade seems very fascinated in that and asks, "What kind of alchemy? I figure yours aren't from Xing since you wish to study here."

"I'm using alchemy from Amestris," Alphonse replies, but his smile fades when Shade suddenly gets a faraway look in his eyes. "Shade?"

"Hm?" The man blinks, then realizes he has been spacing out. "Oh, sorry about that." He gestures for Alphonse to follow him.

The blond boy glances up to the man, wondering if Shade spaced out because he recognized the name. "Did what I say sound familiar to you?"

"Must admit it did," Shade replies thoughtfully, red eyes meeting yellow. "I wonder if it's because I was originally from that place?"

"Ishval is part of Amestris, yes." Alphonse nods.

They stop at the place where the assassins blew their way into the house. Shade puts his left arm on the crumbled wall, revealing the white tattoos on it again. Alphonse has to ask about it. "It's a very unusual tattoo you have." He claps his hands together and helps the man in fixing the damaged area with his alchemy.

Shade lifts his left arm, giving the tattoo on it a somewhat proud but also questioning glance. "Yes, I have it as long as I remember. Took me a while to fully understand it, though. It's the only remaining part of my past." He lowers his arm, hiding underneath the sleeves once again. And speaking about alchemy: "You too have very unusual alchemy; never seen one perform alchemy without a transmutation circle- and I can't see any array on you either."

Alphonse chuckles but doesn't explain how he can do it, merely agreeing that his ability to perform alchemy by clapping his hands does come in handy. He can't help but laugh when Shade remarks, "It's not like I'm dealing with that problem," waving his left arm in proof. Alphonse and others who can do alchemy without a circle still need to clap their hands before touching the ground or whatever objects they want to transmute, but Shade here can simply touch it. Exactly like Scar did. It's getting too similar to be a coincidence; he guesses he should ask Scar about this when he returns to Amestris. It's not like Shade here can tell him anything as long he doesn't have any memories about his past.

"Anyway, let me introduce you to Tai Wang," Shade changes the subject, leading the blond boy away from his house. "Hopefully, the father of his great-granddaughter and personal healer's words holds some importance to him."

So Shade is the healer of this village? It doesn't surprise Alphonse since Xing's alchemy is specialized in the medical.

As promised, Shade takes Alphonse and Mei to the chief's mansion. Zampano and Jerso don't follow, instead deciding to check out the local bar.

The chief's house is incredible, Alphonse admits that it's very spacious and had a lot of art about this tribe being proud warriors with all the weapons, armor, and statues of dragons decorating the rooms. But there is something there that confuses Alphonse. "Why aren't you and your family living here?" he asks Shade. After all, this man is the father of the princess's daughter, the husband of the granddaughter of the chief.

"It's a bit complicated," Shade muses sheepishly, they pass by a pair of lovely dressed women. Alphonse and Mei notice the dirty look they give the Ishvalan. Away from their range, Shade explains to the visitors, "Long story short, the princess fell in love with a complete stranger who has nothing to offer her or the family. But since she was the daughter of the former emperor, I gained a lot of status by marrying her, and all Tai Wang could do was keep us away from his so-called palace."

"Hang on, the way you speak about your wife..." Mei notices how he explained this and not once has the mother of his daughter appeared; she fears the worst from how sad Shade suddenly looks.

He sighs quietly. "Guess there's no point hiding it... my wife got assassinated about a year back..."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Alphonse muses, knowing far too well how much it hurt losing someone.

Shade nods and with a somber, "Please do not speak unless asked," he opens the door and leads the group into the chief's hall. Here Shade tells one of the many servants his reason for coming and about five minutes later, a very broad-shouldered but also quite obese old man arrives inside the hall, giving Shade an annoyed look. "And what do I owe you this visit, Shade?" the man spoke coldly, definitely not happy to see him.

"Your great-granddaughter got attacked about an hour ago," Shade tells the man stonily, not hiding his anger about the lack of protection around his daughter. "And if it hadn't been for this young man and woman, then she would've died."

The chief looks genuinely shocked to hear this, but that expression quickly turns into a scowl aimed at the Ishvalan. "And what the hell were you doing while that happen?"

"The assassins knocked me out," Shade replies, adding in a hard matter of fact, "Honestly you should've expected it - I have told you countless of times that I am not a fighter. Yes, I will protect her with my life, but do you think I stand any chance against trained assassins?"

Tai Wang grumbles but does give in to the demand. "Fine, I will give you two of my most loyal and trained bodyguards."

"Thank you, my lord."

"They will only protect her, not a foreigner like you nor that ghost of a second daughter of yours."

"Of course," Shade says calmly, but his eyes reveal his true feelings about this. Alphonse must admit that he is impressed with how collected this man is even when insulted right at his face. "There is one more request I would like."

The chief sends the Ishvalan a disapproving stare but lets the man speak. Shade gestures to him and Mei. "These two saved your great-granddaughter out of the goodness of their hearts. In return for their noble intentions, I ask they'll be granted permission to enter the Wang clan's library."

The chief eyes Alphonse and Mei suspiciously. "And for what purpose may I ask?"

Mei takes a step forward, keeping her head down in a sign of respect even though her entire being screams at her to attack this potential threat to her clan. "We're simply asking for the scrolls and books about the dragon's pulse."

The chief watches them in silence for a painfully long time, then dismisses the matter with a grunt. "Permission granted." Waving them off, he adds, "I will send the materials to Shade's house. Since you already seem acquainted, you can stay with him as long you're here."

Shade bows, the two others do as well, and they leave the room. When out and away from anyone's hearing range, Shade muses, "That went better than expected; usually, I have to argue with him for hours about the requests I have."

"Has he always been this harsh against you?" Mei asks.

"No." Shade shakes his head. "It only began when Li and I married without his consent. It worsened when she got killed: he still blames me for her death." Shade shakes his head and tries to shake the still looming depression over having lost his beloved wife with it. "Anyway, let's get the four of you settled in. Fortunately, the chief has been kind enough to give my family a house with plenty of spare rooms."

"This doesn't bother you?" Alphonse asks worried, he's not sure if he would like it if someone practically forced him to house a bunch of strangers, but Shade here doesn't seem too bummed out about it.

"It's not every day I get visitors, and it'll be nice to use all of those rooms for a chance." Shade adds with a smirk, "I can always seal you to the ground if you do anything stupid."

Alphonse and Mei believe him on that one; they are both glad Shade has accepted them into his home. He seems like a nice guy. After they have fetched the two human chimeras and Shade shown each of their rooms, the Ishvalan asks one of the servants of the house to cook them some food, explaining the guests, "I may be a brilliant alchemist, but I can't cook a decent meal even if my life depended on it."

"Guess the term 'alchemy comes from a cookbook' doesn't apply to you." Alphonse laughs lightly.

Selena walks over to them, telling them cheekily, "Dad learned all his alchemy from old dusty books and old dusty people."

"Manners, Selena." Shade scowls her, although very halfheartedly. Turning back to the guests, he says, "Speaking about books, I am sure the books you requested will come tomorrow. As long as you will not mess with any of my research notes, I can let you can borrow my office for studies."

"You don't have to..." Alphonse says, embarrassed that he and Mei will be robbing this man of his study room. "We can find somewhere else to study."

Shade merely shrugs casually. "Hey, it's the least I can do for the people who saved my daughter—which reminds me: I better go and check up on her." And with that he leaves the room.

When he's sure that Shade is out of range, Zampano asks quietly to the others, "Is it just me or does Shade look a bit like Scar?" The chimera is careful to make sure that Selena doesn't hear them.

Alphonse sends a quick glance to the room where Shade is speaking softly to his youngest daughter, at the moment having his left arm lifted so the sleeve is down and revealing the array there looks very much like Scar's. That and Shade has some of Scar's traits in appearance. "I have noticed it as well, but it could just be a coincidence," he muses to the chimera.

"But what if it isn't?" Mei quietly counters. Unlike the others she knows a lot more about the man known as Scar and meeting an Ishvalan with the same array of alkahestry and alchemy mixed together, plus missing the same arm that Scar got from his deceased brother made her wonder. Could this really be him? Could Scar's older brother have survived?

Alphonse might not know the details about the right arm, but he can see the similarities between the two and is planning on paying Scar a visit when he returns back to Amestris again.

* * *

 **I hope you like it and will stick around for more. Those of you who have been following me for a while probably already going to know I am not good at making short stories.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.**


	2. The solution

**the second chapter here, it is mostly from Selena's point of view, so you guys know what kind of character she is. fun fact, Selena is actually a rather old OC of mine, I used her once to a former FMA story but when I realized that story didn't work, I changed a few things and put her in here. think this new role suits her better.**  
 **and I do apologize if I got something wrong about her condition, I can only read about it since I don't know any people with albinism.**

 **enjoy the story**

* * *

Alphonse and his friends have now been living with Shade for about a month and have become quite good friends with the amnesiac Ishvalan. Shade is a friendly and brilliant person, always willing to help Alphonse understand the study of the dragon pulse if Mei has trouble explaining it correctly.

Selena often studies alongside with them, mostly because she doesn't have any friends in the village thanks to her albinism. "Many people of the Wang clan call me a ghost." She explains after Alphonse and Mei had asked to tell a bit more about herself when it became apparent that she isn't biology related to Shade or Li Wang. She doesn't have a drop of Xingese blood in her like Shade's youngest daughter. Selena is pure Ishvalan, which came as a great surprise to the Amestrians.

The pale-skinned girl shoots an irritated stare towards her younger sister. Once again, their father is checking on her. "That name suits me... I often feel like one from how much time daddy has to spend on Harika... doubt he even will notice if I'll disappear..."

"Of course, he will notice," Mei retorts lightly. She and the others have all seen how much Shade cares for both of his two daughters. "He loves you."

"Then why does he spend more time with her than me?" Selena asks grumpily and leaves the table. "Bet it's because she's his real daughter..."

"Poor Selena," Alphonse says, watching the pale-skinned girl hide inside her room. It is admittedly quite a surprise hearing that Selena isn't Shade's biology daughter, but that doesn't matter; the man still loves her as if she is. But sadly, with Harika sick all the time from the stress of the constant assassination threats, Al doesn't think it will be fair to ask Shade stop being around the youngest all of the time. The younger girl needs his care and the comfort his appearance gives her.

About ten minutes later, Shade returns and true to what Mei said, right away notices who is missing from the scene. "Where's Selena?"

"In her room," Mei replies and Alphonse explains her reason for being there.

Shade lets out a deep tired sigh. "Should've known this has been affecting her as well— excuse me." And he heads into Selena's room.

About five minutes later, he returns outside with a tearful, but trying very hard to hide it, Selena. Father and daughter take a seat at the table with Shade doing his best to give his oldest daughter some much-needed attention by teaching both her and Alphonse about the dragon pulse.

Alphonse must admit that Shade makes a good teacher; he knows exactly how he should explain stuff so even Zampano and Jerso, who have little to no knowledge about alchemy, can get an understanding of what Shade is trying to teach them. Alphonse is glad to have met Shade, but there will probably be some time before he can sense this Chi flow that many people of Xing can read. Shade did say that getting that ability requires a lot of meditation since that would help sharpen his focus. Now Alphonse understands what Mei tried to tell him (but utterly failed) back when he still was stuck in that armor.

The lecture gets interrupted when Harika suddenly screams, sending Shade into action and storming to her room, but stops when the girl herself comes running out. "The black people are back!" She cries, terrified, seeking cover behind her dad and the chimeras, somewhat to their surprise.

Alphonse and Mei are on their feet in seconds, ready to defend the family against the assassins, but it proves not to be necessary. The people Harika mistook for assassins are her new bodyguards.

The oldest of them tries to calm the girl by explaining that they are here to protect her. "Young mistress, we're not here to harm you." He stepped over to her, which made Harika more scared. "We're your—"

"Back off!" Shade snaps at the bodyguard; his glare makes them both take a step back. Alphonse, on the other hand, recognizes that protective look, one his older brother Edward wore when he protected Winry from Scar, which in turn made the killer freeze up. He wonders if Scar would recognize this man if they ever met.

"Can't you see you're scaring her?" Shade asks them angrily, nodding to his daughter hiding behind the quite taken aback chimeras, seeing them as a way better protection than her protectors.

Both bodyguards can see that, and that is a huge problem since it is their duty to protect her. They have to stay out from sight until she gets used to them and they leave, guarding the house outside by sitting on the roof.

Harika did calm down slightly with them gone, but the recent attacks have gotten to her. She refuses to leave her father's or her self-proclaimed protectors' side, crying and scanning the house all the time for danger.

Jerso puts a hand on the young girl's head, assuring her, "Don't worry; no harm will come to you, little one." She nods slowly and dries away her tears, believing the chimera's words.

Later that evening, Selena watches her sister sleeping with their father sitting on the edge of the bed, working as a guard but does makes him unable to do his things, such as teaching their guests alkahestry. She feels angry— well more worried over her family's predicament. She is feeling quite useless that she cannot do anything to make things a little bit easier. Li did though, but she's dead... this place hasn't been the same ever since her second mother died.

"Dad, we should leave," Selena tells her father seriously.

Shade doesn't answer her. He quietly puts a wet cloth on Harika's forehead. The young girl has once again come down with a fever from the constant stress she is dealing with.

Selena fists her hand; this isn't the first time they have had this discussion, so she knows his reasoning. "If we stay, Harika will die!" She doesn't want to lose any more loved ones! She is sick and tired of watching people die around her, and she cannot do anything to stop it! She wants to cry out but restrains herself.

"She doesn't look so good," Jerso remarks, watching the sick girl trying but having considerable trouble falling asleep, she is so scared of who might come and attack her.

Shade sighs; he returns the bowl of water to one of the servants, asking them to leave before he turns to the chimera. "Harika has been like this ever since her mother..." He lowers his head for a moment, deciding to get to the point why he hasn't left this village and the constant threat of assassination. "But even if we did leave, where could we possibly go? The other clans are those after her, and I can't keep them alive out in the wilderness—that will be unfair for both of them." Looking way older than he is, Shade takes off his glasses, revealing how frustrated he is about this whole situation. "Not to mention that the chief won't allow Harika's leaving. She is a great source of his power; whoever marries her is most likely to become the next chief of the Wang clan. And Tai Wang would prefer that this future chief is loyal to him."

"So if she gets assassinated before marriage, then the clan will lose a great deal of its power?" Zampano asks to get this straight.

Shade nods in a sad manner. "Trust me. I would've left a long time ago. But with no idea where to go and the chief won't allow a source of power leaving... well, as you can see: I am pretty limited with my options."

"It's not fair..." Selena grumbles angrily. "I am allowed to leave, but dad and my sister are trapped in the middle of this stupid political power struggle."

Shade puts his metal hand gently on her shoulder, assuring her softly, "It will get better. Harika is properly protected now, so she shouldn't be under threat anymore."

"True, but your kid fears her bodyguards," Jerso remarks, with Zampano pointedly flicking his gaze to the finally asleep girl. Her rest is not a calm one though, as it looks like she's dealing with bad dreams. "She prefers two chimeras over them." This statement causes the Ishvalan to let out a tired sigh.

Mei glances to the sleeping Harika, realizing that she maybe have gotten a relatively carefree childhood since no one from the other clans have tried to kill her. Her clan has only been struggling in keeping what little power they had, but that's not really a problem anymore now that Ling has become Xing's new ruler. Too bad old habits about how to get rid of potential opponents from other clans die hard. And especially since young Harika here is the daughter of one of the most powerful princesses of the former emperor. The Wang clan is as powerful as the Yao clan, maybe even more so. So getting rid of Harika by killing her will aid other, lower-ranked clans to rise, her own included, but Mei can't make herself even consider that option. Shade has been so kind to them and even though Mei hasn't interacted with Harika personally, thanks to the girl's shyness and paranoia, Mei has seen how open and loving Harika is when she interacts with Zampano and Jerso, not one bit bothered by them being chimeras. In fact, Mei has a feeling this red-eyed girl finds their animal forms quite fascinating.

But Mei has figured there are other ways of getting rid of an opponent, and she thinks Shade will not put up much of a struggle with that second option. But she can't say it now; the bodyguards of Harika are most likely listening, and they will tell the chief if they realize another princess is scheming to remove the Wang clan's primary source of power.

That night, Mei sneaks out from her room and into Shade's study, all the time making sure Harika's bodyguards won't spot her. Peeking inside the study, she finds Shade working on something, but he looks too exhausted to work on it correctly. Mei has a feeling that the man cannot sleep either, so she is practically doing him a favor. She walks inside, making sure the Ishvalan spots her, but before he can ask what she's doing here this late, she makes the sign to be quiet. He blinks but keeps his mouth shut. Mei hands him her idea, written on paper. He takes it and frowns of her suggestion; he hesitates for a long time, and then grabs himself another piece of paper, writing his answer.

Mei feared this would happen, but she also figured that the Wang clan wouldn't let their future chief's wife go this smoothly, so she reluctantly has to agree on his terms. With the agreement, she leaves the room and sneaks to the others, telling them about what is soon going to happen.

Alphonse frowns deeply, not liking one bit what Shade has to do. But he also knows that if any of them tries to help, the plan will fail.

They build on this plan throughout the week, pretending to be studying but in reality, preparing for this plan of Mei and Shade's.

The day arrives, and Alphonse returns the scrolls to the library and tells his goodbye to Shade. "I wish we didn't have to leave this way," he tells the man sadly, wishing that they could do more to help Shade, but the Ishvalan's mind is already made up, and Alphonse has to respect that.

Shade gives the four a simple smile, before turning with a sad look to his oldest daughter, handing her a turquoise green scarf. "This once belonged to Li, and she wanted you to have it on the day you would become a woman. She always said it brought her courage."

Selena takes it but doesn't put in on, merely staring at her adoptive father with tears in her eyes. "Why can't you go with us?" she asks, confused about why her second father won't leave with them. She doesn't want to lose him too.

He gives her a weak smile but doesn't answer; instead, he hugs her tightly, whispering something into her ears and with that, he returns to the house where Harika is sleeping.

Selena tries to follow, but Mei stops her. Reluctantly Selena leaves along with the group, more than once looking back to the house where her sister's bodyguards are watching them from the roof.

She struggles not to burst into tears; confusion and fear of why her father is doing this threatens to make her break. But she can't, not when she promised him to be strong.

Shade stands at the window, watching the spot where the group left even though it was over two days ago now. His chest hurts for what had to be done, but he knows this will at least give them a better chance for life.

"The lord is asking for his great-granddaughter's appearance," the youngest of the bodyguards tells him, waiting at the door.

Shade nods slowly and heads into Harika's room. He picks up the child and heads over to the palace. The bodyguards keep their safe distance all the time, knowing they will scare the child if getting too close. At the palatial mansion, they do get in closer, mostly to show the chief that they are doing their job.

Shade walks inside the meeting hall, and like always, reluctantly hands over his daughter to her great-grandfather. With a smile, the chief uncovers the sheet covering his sickly great-granddaughter, but it quickly fades when he realizes what the former husband to his granddaughter has done. "Seize him!" he commands, dropping the dummy onto the floor.

Harika's bodyguards freeze for a second in shock that Harika is no longer in the village and they, in turn, have failed to keep her safe. They quickly recover though and like three other guards, charge at the traitorous father of their mistress.

Shade smirks, as he in some sense won, then he slams his left hand onto the ground, making the whole room bend to his alchemy and will.

* * *

 **even Shade can be a badass when it is needed.**  
 **I am unsure how much alchemy he can pull off, but I guess he can do a lot since Scar could do a lot of damage and he only allowed himself study the basic about his deconstruction arm. so try and imagine what someone who has a great understanding of alchemy can do with it.**  
 **maybe it's a good thing Shade is not a fighter.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.**


	3. Surprising revelation

**I'm not much of a religious person, but I do find a big fascination in studying some of them and reading about different legends. What I write about Ishvalan religion is kinda taken from whatever I remember from what I have read of those religious legends and put my own touches into it- just like Scar's brother's alchemy!**

 **But what I write isn't canon Ishvalan belief.**

 **To RemaSofiRuin: I read up about Automail in both manga and anime, about how people from Xing recognized it but were shocked it was being used as a weapon. I say they do have automail, however only as artificial limbs. So my guess is that Lan Fan got her new arm done by an Amestrian Automail engineer.**

 **I many times thank WargishBoromirFan for the beta reading.**

 **Enjoy the story.**

* * *

Far away from the Wang clan's main village, Selena is feeding her sister, the younger girl still sick from the lack of rest. Harika's paranoia hasn't decreased one bit now that her primary source of protection is no longer nearby. "Where's daddy?" she keeps asking, and Selena constantly replies that daddy is no longer around, all the time struggling to keep her tears at bay.

Alphonse and Mei walk over and help the pale-skinned girl to take care of her sister and comfort the now-crying girl.

"Poor kids..." Jerso muses, watching the scene from a small distance along with his partner Zampano, "lost their home and father in one single day."

"Yeah, and Selena is trying so darn hard being strong for her sister," the other chimera agrees, musing mostly to himself. "Hopefully we can find them a nice family in Ishval. They deserve a break."

"Harika won't be a problem, she looks mostly Ishvalan," Jerso muses. The little girl does lack the Ishvalen's iconic silver hair and her skin looks more tan than brown, but she sure got that people's iconic red eyes. "But," his dark eyes land on Selena, with her pale skin and green eyes; she will stand out like a sore thumb around the brown-skinned Ishvalan people. "Selena will have one hell of a time hiding among them with her skin tone."

Zampano smirks weakly. "Maybe it is a good thing many from Amestris have come down to help the Ishvalans in rebuilding, with them around; she might not stand out too much."

"You got a point." Jerso muses and returns back to their guard duty; they are after all still on enemy ground.

Fortunately, the group doesn't encounter any trouble on their way back to Amestris. They do as they crossed the desert area, which is the nearest place they could reach a train station, but that wasn't because of people. It proved that Selena's skin cannot handle the harsh sun as well as others. So Alphonse has to transmute some of their clothing to shield her sensitive skin from the sun. The teenager uses the scarf she got from her father to cover her head, shoulders and part of her arms. Harika gets the same treatment; sure she handled the weather way better than her older sister, but Mei suggests that they shouldn't take the chance since the young girl still suffers from fever and sickness thanks to the stress of being constantly hunted down.

They arrive at the train station, right at the borders of Amestris and it clearly shows that this is the first time both girls have ever seen a train before. In their excitement and curiosity about this new thing, for a blissful moment, they forget about their quite gloomy situation. At that moment, the four really see the real personality of the two. Selena is an adventurous girl who has trouble keeping her hands to herself- Zampano has to drag her away from the locomotive when she starts to climb it. Harika might be very shy but is proven to be very smart from the sometimes very thoughtful questions the girl asks them.

They ride the train throughout the whole night, arriving at the borders of Ishval around eight in the morning.

"Those people look like Daddy." Harika points out at the train station after having passed a small group of Ishvalan people. She looks up to Alphonse, asking, "Are they family to us?"

Alphonse chuckles lightly. "I doubt it; all Ishvalans look like this. Most people recognize them by their brown skin and red eyes."

That is something Harika knows both she and her father have, and thus asks these friendly people, "Are Dad and I Ishvalan?"

"You are." Alphonse nods.

"Selena too?"

This time Selena replies, "Sure, but you can't see it because of my condition." This catches the chimeras by surprise since they haven't heard the teen's backstory like Alphonse and Mei did; she sends them a cross look. "What? My real mother and father looked like my new dad, my skin and eyes just never turned the right color."

"If you don't mind me asking," Jerso says, very curious about how Shade took Selena in as his own child, "but how did you get adopted by Shade?"

"Mother and father found Shade when we ran... from the destruction..." Alphonse, Jerso, and Zampano's expressions drop right away, realizing that Selena is speaking about the Ishvalan War of Extermination.

She hugs herself; just thinking about that place scares her, the beautiful sand stained in the colors of red and black. Buildings destroyed, clouding the sun with their dust and dead people lying everywhere.

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 _The small family had been lucky, they escaped the alchemist attack, but just by a hair. Horrified, they slowly walked through the rubble and human corpses lying everywhere. Selena sobbed loudly from the horrific sight; her mother hushed her in fear there would still be soldiers or a state alchemist nearby. Her father went up ahead, spotting people hauling someone severely wounded away, but even though he dearly wished to call for them, let their fellow people know that there were more survivors, he was just too afraid that his voice would alert the Amestris soldiers to their location._

 _This destruction around them had rattled him to the bones. So the other survivors never knew about this small family, meaning they were on their own._

 _They slowly left the area, Selena's mother keeping her daughter close, trying to shield her for the sight of the many deaths surrounding them. They passed the spot where the other Ishvalans were not long ago. The father glanced for a moment down to yet another body of his fellow people; this man was about his own age, perhaps a couple of years younger. He was covered in blood from the wounds of the State Alchemist's attack. The most noteworthy injury was the torn off right arm, which looked to be old though as there was skin around the stump that seemed to have healed. The father was about to move on, but a strange feeling—perhaps the hand of Ishvala - made him check this one for life signs._

 _This one was still alive! Barely, so no wonder why the others mistook this one as yet another body covering the rubble. The father pulled this one up on his back, ignoring all the blood covering the young man's body. The small family left the city, even though they have heard about two doctors and perhaps the most significant chance in saving the man._

 _The mother told her husband not to go there; she had heard the doctors were Amestrian and how could they trust them after what their fellow countrymen have done to their home and loved ones?_

 _So they didn't go. Instead, heading to the location they had been planning fleeing to: Xing._

 _The mother of Selena used all her self taught skills in the medical field to nurse the unconscious man back to health. The wound on his left side was severe, but fortunately, none of his organs got hit, and the rest of his injuries weren't lethal and wouldn't kill him. But the state of what was left of his right arm worried her deeply. It looked like it had been put together wrong, as if no doctor ever saw it while it healed._

 _They arrived at the borders of Xing; here they allowed themselves time to rest at a small waterhole, figuring out what their next step should be. The mother and father discussed their next course of action, however, the conversation got cut short when a gang of thugs— living on stealing from caravans traveling over the desert - surrounded the small camp, demanding the family what little supplies they had._

 _The father refused; without it, his family was sure to die. The mother sensed the danger and told her daughter to stay hidden along with the still unconscious man._

 _Selena did, frightened for her parents as she listened to them confronting those thugs, whimpering when the shouting and yelling turned into what she later learned were screams of death and knew her parents had joined her friends and grandparents. She cried but stayed put, that was what her mother wanted._

 _Two days passed and new people arrived; they found the bodies of the mother and father. But they weren't going to leave, for they all sensed the chi of two nearby, both weak so there was no time to lose. They found the two hiding under a rock._

 _Selena, although weak from dehydration, put up one hell of a fight when the people grabbed her. She screamed and thrashed when one of the men pulled her out from the den she had been hidden inside; she was too scared to listen. The girl only calmed down when a beautifully dressed woman, with the voice of a soothing bell, told her everything would be alright and they both would be taken care of. Selena nodded slowly, deciding to believe this woman's words._

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"It was Li Wang," Selena explains the group softly. "She made Shade wake up, gave us both a home—gave me a family again." She smiles weakly from the memories. "When Shade and Li got married, they said that if I wanted I could call them mother and father, so I did. I was so happy. Then... some people killed my new mother too and keep trying to kill my younger sister and..." Tears start welling up in her green eyes; this time she's unable to stop them. "Now my new daddy is gone too!" She breaks down into deep sobbing, so much that she collapses onto the ground.

Harika tries to comfort her by hugging her shoulders. "Please don't cry..." the young girl tells her softly, not wishing to see her older, strong sister be like this.

Alphonse watches the heartbreaking scene, feeling a tight squeeze in his chest from how much pain and suffering young Selena already has been through. She has gotten a far worse life than anyone deserves. Sure, Al knows a little about childhood trauma, as losing his entire body was incredibly hard and so was losing their mother, Nina, and Hughes, but Selena has seen twice as much death already and she hasn't even turned eighteen!

So he is determined that these two girls will get a happier life, knowing a lot of their people from Ishval can relate to them when it comes to the suffering they have been through. He puts a hand on the crying Selena's shoulder and offers her his other hand. She takes it after a moment of hesitation, allowing the young man to pull her up from the ground and hold his hand as comfort; she sure as heck needs the personal contact.

Harika needs it too, and Zampano is more than willing to let this sweet girl get a ride on his shoulders. Quietly, the group takes the two girls towards the nearest town in the Ishval region. And with the two chimeras and Xingese girl looking after them, Alphonse heads to the command center placed in this area, asking some of the soldiers about Major Miles's whereabouts. When he got it, Alphonse's group heads towards the town in search of the soldier and most likely also a former killer.

"They should be around here somewhere," Alphonse muses, scanning the rebuilding town for any sign of the major and scarred man.

"Daddy?" Harika asks and before anyone could stop her, Harika has run over to the man who looks very much like her daddy. Selena swiftly follows the young girl before she gets herself into trouble.

Scar blinks hearing some child mistake him for her father. He stops along with Miles, eyeing the young girl running over to him. She stops when realizing her mistake and tears start to fall. Scar doesn't like watching children cry; it always makes him feel like a huge jerk, and fortunately, he does know why this little one is crying. "You're looking for your father?" he asks her, kneeling down so he at least looks less menacing.

The girl nods tearfully, turning around when her older sister calls her name. "Harika, don't run off like that!"

Scar's eyes wide by the name this girl has. "Harika?" That's the same name as his mother. The little girl - Harika - nods slowly up to him, quirking a smile when he tells her, "It's a very nice name."

"My dad gave it to me."

Scar nods then turn his attention to this older pale-skinned child. For a moment he mistakes her for one coming from the north, then realizes that this girl is an Ishvalan too, merely a moon child. He has heard about Ishvalan people with white skin and green eyes instead of the iconic red. His mother once told him that Ishvalan children born to look like that have been blessed by the moon; that's why the sun hurts them. "And what is your name?" he asks the older girl. These white-skinned Ishvalans are incredibly rare and it should be considered an honor standing before one. His mother told him that the moon children of Ishvala are strong people, for unlike most other Ishvalans, the moon-blessed Ishvalans will stare into the night and the horrors the darkness brings without fear.

"Selena," this teen, Selena, tells him, not one bit afraid of this scarred and quite intimidating looking man.

Yes, Scar can see what his mother meant; this girl has a certain strength in her eyes and posture he has only seen in a few people; one of them has been the Fullmetal. "Bear that name with pride, girl. Not all Ishvalans get blessed by the moon." The girl blinks but quickly smiles up to him.

Miles is confused; he has no idea what the scarred man is talking about. "Care to explain, Ishvalan?" He has never seen a white-skinned Ishvalan or heard this talk about being moon-blessed before now.

So Scar explains to both his red-eyed brother and the white-skinned Ishvalan girl. "My mother once told me about white-skinned Ishvalans, and said that sometimes when the moon travels over the sky, she blesses an Ishvalan child with white skin and green eyes. Their life will be a constant struggle as the sun does not approve of the moon's children; that's why the sun hurts them." He gently puts a hand on this white-skinned child's head, feeling quite honored standing before one of these moon children. "But a moon-blessed child, like Selena here, shows the true strength of what it means to be an Ishvalan. Look at her eyes."

Miles does and must admit that this young girl has fire in her green eyes, so there must be something to what Scar told him.

"Wow, I didn't know that. I always got teased for my condition," Selena exclaims in surprise. She always hated her condition because of the mean nicknames she got but hearing that she has been one of the few blessed by the moon and is the real strength of the Ishvalans makes so much worth it. So her mother's words that she is special were true. "Thanks for telling me, mister!" She smiles up to the scarred man, already liking this one.

Scar nods to the teen, he gets up and asks the two apparent siblings. "You got lost from your father?"

"No, sir." Selena shakes her head. "Daddy used himself as a decoy so the Wang clan wouldn't follow us when we traveled here."

Alphonse and the others come over by this time. Scar is a bit surprised to see Alphonse as human; the last time he saw the boy, he was still a suit of armor. Of course, he has heard that the youngest of the Elric brother has gotten his body back, but this is the first time he's seen it. Putting that thought aside, he asks mostly Alphonse Elric, "You met an Ishvalan in Xing?" Mei did send him letters from time to time, explaining how she is doing and such. He has gotten quite close to that girl.

Alphonse nods and explains to the two adult Ishvalans about this Ishvalan who also happens to be an alchemist that they met on their trip to Xing. He explains how Harika has been under constant threat of assassinating and their father, calling himself Shade, chose to work as a decoy so they could get the two kids away and back to Ishval where they could hide among their people.

"Does this Shade have any family left here in Ishval?" Miles asks, thinking it would be best for the girls to live with close relatives rather than a bunch of strangers.

Scar, on the other hand, is quite startled that there is another Ishvalan who has been studying alchemy; he always thought his brother was the only one crazy enough to do that.

Alphonse hesitates. "Well... maybe. He didn't know much, thanks to his lost memories, but..." He eyes Scar with the question. "How many Ishvalans know about the alchemy you use?"

Scar's eyes widened ever so slightly; his heart starts beating faster at what Alphonse is hinting. "I'm the only one."

And his world gets pretty much pulled upside down when Mei exclaims, "But Shade has a tattoo there looks very much like yours, Mister Scar! Except it was white and on his left arm."

Can it really be? No, he shouldn't... but how else would they know about it? He has never shown them his left arm after he got it marked. Scar pulls up the sleeve of his left arm, revealing the reconstructing transmutation array.

"Hey, it looks like Daddy's," Harika points out innocently.

The two young adults and Miles, however, see the overly shocked look flashing over Scar's face. "What is it, Scar?" Miles asks but the other Ishvalan ignores him, full attention on Mei and Alphonse, demanding to know, "Was he wearing glasses and missing his right arm?"

The two nod.

That did it, only one person would fit that description. All these years he has thought him dead, but he is alive and... Scar's eyes land back on the two confused children. Harika and Selena, they are not merely fellow people of Ishval, no, they are his family. His brother's children.

All this time, he thought he was the only one left of the family.

Not only his brother has been alive all these years, but has blessed him with two beautiful children! He thanks Ishvala for returning his family back to him. "I'm the younger brother of your father," he tells the two kids, and from the looks of it, they too are just as surprised as he was in hearing they are family with one another.

Both girls gasp, stare at him with wide eyes for a moment, then with a cheer they both tackle him into a hug, which he awkwardly returns.

Mei Chang beams that her former protector has found some light in his quite gloomy life.

Miles and Alphonse, on the other hand, are pretty startled from have heard this, both remember the once killer had told them that his older brother died during the war. Now the facts point that Scar's brother is still alive, which begs the question: "If he has been alive all this time, then why never return?" Miles asks, making Scar turns away from his nieces, also quite curious about this.

"Shade lost his memories, possibly because of loss of blood from losing his arm?" Alphonse ponders out loud. He doesn't know much about the medical field, but can't that be a possibility? "Whatever the case, he had no idea what an Ishvalan was when we called him it, he didn't even know his own name."

That explains it - without his memories, his brother wouldn't be aware of anything going on in Amestris. That also explains why his brother named himself Shade, he is after all only a shadow of his former self.

His brother hasn't lost his sense of humor, that's for sure.

But god he hopes that his brother is still the same personality-wise, he won't know how much losing someone's memory will affect a person. Only one way to find out. "Miles, can you take care of my nieces?" He asks the Major, pushing gently the two over to the soldier, knowing the man will protect them as if they were his own.

Miles promises that he will, very aware where Scar will be going. "Come along, children," he calls for the two.

They follow but the two stop when Selena asks their newfound uncle, "You're going to bring father back to us?"

Scar nods he indeed will. The girls smile, and feeling way lighter than before, they follow Miles over to his home. Scar then demands of Alphonse and Mei, "Bring me to where you last saw him."

The two nod in agreement. In fact, they have kind of been hoping that Scar would help them rescue Shade. They leave Ishval right after requesting the two chimeras help Miles protect the two girls, in case any of the Wang clan has been following them.

They once again return back to Xing. All the way Scar is deeply pondering how much of his brother is still inside this man calling himself Shade. Will his brother recognize him?

He doubts it, but he will simply be content if his brother is still the same enthusiastic and smartass of a bookworm he remembered from his youth.

* * *

 **Yeah I think I too would leave right away if I got the news that a family member I thought dead has been alive all this time. Also, if anyone can save Shade, then it is Scar. That man is a beast when it comes to fighting!**

 **Chapter suggestions are very welcome; I don't have a full plot on this story, simply just want to write about the two Ishvalan brothers.**

 **Till next time!**


	4. Reunited again

**Since I have gone into a sort of writing frenzy, I might as well give you guys more chapters. Also, thinks Scar will appreciate we get to it where he will find his brother. *glances outside* he has been giving me some scary looks ever since he discovered his brother is alive...**

 ***sound of destructive alchemy***

 **oh boy...**

* * *

Back in the bamboo forest, one of the Chief's bodyguards climbs onto one of the bamboos, breathing heavily from what he is trying to get away from. However, his opponent is not letting him get away that easily and to the warrior's shock, the cluster of bamboo he's holding onto shatters under the alchemy of the red-eyed man who is hunting him down. The bodyguard does quickly recover; lands somewhat gracefully on the ground and tries to get these three intruders down.

He charges at the Chang princess, but the red-eyed man isn't having it and returns the attack by slashing his sparking with alchemy right arm at the bodyguard who would've lost a leg if he hadn't moved.

The two warriors dance around one another, trying getting the lethal hit in by either a kunai or the right arm of deconstruction. They are both somewhat equal in their relative fighting style, and the only difference is that the bodyguard is a bit faster and Scar physically stronger. That didn't decide a winner, though. Only one misstep by either will resolve the battle—if Scar had been alone that is.

Alphonse runs over to help, punching out after the Wang bodyguard, the man blocks him, but that robs him the time to prevent Scar's attack, only his speed saves him from losing his left arm. He jumps away from the two, wondering out loud. "I wasn't aware there would be more people looking like that traitor to Shade, better warn the Chief." About to take the run for it, but gets trapped by Mei's long-ranged alchemy.

"Nice work, Mei!" Alphonse praises her.

She beams at him while Scar walks over to the trapped Wang bodyguard. The scarred man grabs the bodyguard around the throat, demanding harshly. "Where is the man you call Shade?!" He gets no answer, so Scar destroys some of the ground around the bodyguard's head, warning the man. "Next time it will be your leg."

Realizing that this man is serious about the threat but not wanting to betray the clan, the bodyguard questions back. "What do you want with that traitor?"

"Where is he?!" No answer, so Scar destroys the man's leg, causing the bodyguard to go into a fit of pain.

Alphonse steps over to stop this madness but gets stopped by Mei. "Don't; Mister Scar's the only one who can make him speak. Protecting his master lies in his blood."

"But torturing him isn't right!" Alphonse argues, flinching when Scar uses his deadly alchemy to tear off the man's right hand.

"It's the only way," Mei tells him hard. She does not like it either, but sometimes brutality such as Scar is needed, at least in her eyes. "Unless he speaks, we will be running in blind. We can't risk it, least when it's the Wang clan. They have too much military strength."

He still doesn't like it one bit, but can see reason, so incredibly reluctant Alphonse lets Scar torture the answers out of this man.

"Where is he?!" Scar demands for the fifth times, once again ready to use his right hand on this Xingese bodyguard. This time the man speaks. "He's in the dungeon, lowest floor..."

"How do we get inside?"

"There is a wall blocking the way, if you can get over or under, the path will be mostly clear..." The man reluctantly tells him.

Scar stares menacingly at this man for a long time, figuring this can be a trap, but one he's willing to take; for his brother's sake. He leaves the mutilated man, commanding Mei to use her healing alchemy on him. "We got what we wanted." He still has enough honors not to kill unless necessary and right now: it is not. Mei quickly runs over and heals the wounds the bodyguard got; she does, however, does not release him as this one can very well warn the others.

Seeing that small form of mercy from Scar is a massive relief for Alphonse, he still feels sick of the man had to go through torture, though. At least the man will survive: but he won't be winning any beauty contests anymore.

After Mei has healed the man, the trio moves on.

They do wait to invade the mansion there looks like a palace until it gets dark, using the cover of darkness to sneak up to the wall the bodyguard pointed out. Scar horseshoes Mei up, giving her the speed needed to scale the rest of the tall wall. Up there she attach the transmuted rope Alphonse made out from the bamboo, enable the two others to get over. They all figured that it would be a stupid idea using alchemy so near the mansion since the light from an alchemic reaction would warn the guards of their location. Over the wall, Scar knocks out the single guard while Mei and Alphonse check the area for any path leading to the dungeon, but all they find is a room filled with resting guards. As expected from Scar, the bodyguard has lured them into a trap. Only out of pure luck, none of the guards noticed the young man and woman peeking inside by the door, allowing the two return back to Scar, telling him what they saw.

Scar figured as much, yet he does think that bodyguard has been completely lying. "Block the door." He commands them and walks over to the other side of the building.

Just as Alphonse blocks the door, Scar destroys half of a wall, causing so much noise that the blond young man now sees why the scarred man asked him to block the door since every guard in there are now banging on it in attempt to reach them. He and Mei quickly follow the Ishvalen, not sure if he should be annoyed or understand why Scar is not bothering to wait for them.

Scar knows he's on the right track; this place looks very much like a prison. His mind is purely set on saving his brother; although also worried this other Ishvalen might not be his brother, he will take that as it comes when he sees the prisoner. Right now, all he thinks about is finding this fellow Ishvalen and get him back home. A few guards try to stop him, but none of them stands a chance against him and soon all lies dead on the floor. Scar cannot bother with mercy now that he's so close to the possibility that his brother might still be alive. Mercy less so when some of these guards have fresh blood spatter over their uniforms.

He hurries down the hallway, checking every cell for a red-eyed and brown-skinned person. So far, there isn't a single person in there. So he follows the trace of where the bloodstained guards came from, that leads him into a sort of chamber and there... he sees him.

"Brother." It is really him; he has been alive all this time! But for how long? He has many different kinds of wounds all over his body; the right side is the worst. The remaining of his right arm is torn to shreds; blood is everywhere, so his brother dying of blood loss is a high possibility. Scar steps over to him but stops when a sudden sharp pain arrives at his left side. Scar snaps to his left and spots his attacker; a Xingese man has stabbed some sort of knife into him. Scar, however, doesn't go down this easily and although the wound can be a huge problem, he still has more than enough strength to slam his attacker into the nearby wall, knocking him out and probably also causing major head trauma, that last part Scar doesn't care. Holding over his bleeding wound, Scar—unfazed by his injury walks over to his brother, worried that this reunion might be very short from how bad his brother looks.

They must have tortured him for days. Eyeing the shredded right side, Scar notices metal. His brother must have been wearing an automail arm, and these bastards had the cruelty tearing it off. Scar's anger flares when coming to this conclusion, how dare these people to do this to his brother?!

His kindhearted, wise, bookworm of a brother. The only thing keeping Scar from tearing this whole place down and kill everyone inside; is the fact that his brother is still alive.

He destroys the chains holding his brother; carefully lifting him on his back. "emMy turn to protect you./em" He muses softly in their native language to the barely conscious man and leaves the room.

Alphonse and Mei catch up to him by then, both winching from how bad shape Shade is. Scar ignores their reaction; he's more worried about getting his brother out here alive. He refuses to lose him right after he has found him again! "Mei, find us some horses." He tells the Xingese girl, she nods and runs off, Scar then turns to Alphonse. "I can't fight with him on my back, so you have to protect us both." He points out in a hard matter of fact.

Alphonse transmutes himself a spear out from the floor, telling the former killer harshly. "I'm not going to protect you, Scar. I'm doing this for Shade."

And that's all Scar wishes; it doesn't matter if he dies. All Scar wants is his brother's survival and return to his two daughters, his brother deserves to live more than a murder like him.

They head out from the palace, luckily not getting the whole Wang army in their faces for that would've surely ended with their defeat and death. Most of the clan warriors are protecting the chief and his family, a good thing for them. The few guards they did encounter were held at bay by Alphonse martial art and alchemy, allowing Scar to flee with his severely wounded brother.

Outside, Mei awaits them with three horses, one of them: a reddish mare with a white spot on the forehead neighs as a sort of greeting to the Ishvalen. Scar blinks at this, for a moment, wondering if this horse happens to be owned by his brother, but he can't think much about it with the fast-approaching guards. So he helps Shade onto the red mare, mounts it himself and set it in a gallop. Alphonse and Mei follow on their horses, leaving behind the village, although they doubt the chase is over.

They ride as fast the horses will allow them throughout the whole day, once nearly getting ambushed by the chief's warriors but Alphonse and Mei made short work of them, still just in case, they make a detour to throw the Wang clan off their trail.

With the horses exhausted, the group seeks rest at a small river, here Mei heals Shade- as Scar refuses to get healed first, with the older of the two Ishvalen wounds closed, she turns to Scar and treats his injury at the side.

He briefly thanks her before turning his attention back to the man now calling himself Shade, he's still not fully conscious, but Scar's not really surprised how slowly he takes to recover; his brother has always had a low pain tolerance. He remembers he often teased his brother about it back when they were children, but now he wishes his brother isn't dealing with it.

Alphonse speaks softly to Shade, trying to get a proper response from him. It takes about three hours before Shade can form a proper sentence. "...Are... they... safe?..." Is the first thing the wounded man asks.

Scar's heart melts of this simple question, even without his memories, he still worries more about friends and family than his own well being.

"Selena and Harika are safe in Ishval," Alphonse replies the man softly, asking worried the still pretty beaten up man. "What about you?"

"...In pure agony, but..." Shade muses weakly and falls into an unconscious sleep before he can speak any more words.

Scar takes off his jacket and puts it over the man's shaking body, musing to him in their native language. "emLet Ishvala look after your beloved while you rest./em"

Alphonse and Mei give him a questioning look, but he gives them no explanation of what he had said. Instead, he gets up and leaves the small camp. "I'll keep watch; we will leave the moment he wakes." No way he's going to risk his brother's life, not when they are so close getting him back home.

Mei returns to Shade's side, doing her best to make sure his wounds are healing correctly. Alphonse instead watches Scar, a man he still despises, but right now he feels like he understands the man. Being a younger brother himself, Alphonse knows how hard it is to see his brother get hurt or almost killed. Worst of all, his brother Edward almost got killed by the same man he's now helping, irony at in its finest.

But looking past that, Alphonse can see why Scar got so set on saving Shade when he realized it's his older brother. If it has been him with Edward, he would probably have done the same... with less murder and torture.

Shade awakes nearing sunrise, his body still much in pain, especially around the stump there once was his right arm. Shade tries to sit up with his teeth clenched but give up when doing that causes too much pain. His body isn't made to endure such things and from how the chief's men tore off his automail there caused him so much agony that he passed out, Tai knew that too.

"You're awake."

Shade turns and has to concentrate his eyes since the person beside him is mostly just a blur. But from the sound of the voice and the shape of the figure, he's confident it is Mei Chang. "How long was I out?" He asks her.

"About six hours," Mei replies and explains to him that she managed to close his wounds and will do her best making sure they will not reopen.

Shade thanks her and the blurry figure he presumes is Alphonse and tells them both. "They either would've broken or killed me, so I'm grateful you got me out."

"I wish we could've come sooner." Alphonse muses regretfully, yet still very relieved they came just in time.

"You came back, that's what matters." Shade replies softly, no hint of anger in his voice.

That Alphonse can agree on, his gold-colored eyes land on the missing arm, not sure if Winry will help the older brother of her parents killer, but guesses he has to asks her first before making the suggestion. Shade is quite different from Scar; he's very gentle compared to the younger brother.

And speaking about Scar, the man notices Shade has awoken and calls him and Mei to pack up as it is time to move on.

Shade blinks hearing a third voice, one he does not recognize and yet it does somewhat sound familiar, he can't place from where. "Who are you?" He asks, looking at the blurry figure not far from him.

"An Ishvalen like you," Scar replies before the two others can, he rather not explains the man about their relationship at the moment; it will just cause too many questions. "Can you move?"

"I think so, doubt I can run, though." Shade points out in a somewhat neutral way, no idea why but he already trusts this stranger like he always has. So weird.

This other Ishvalen grabs his left arm and proves his strength when he quite easily pulls him to his feet, telling him: "We're moving on horseback."

"Oh." That explains the strange dreams he had.

The other Ishvalen supports him over to the horses, the red blur in shape of a horse makes Shade gasp in surprised joy. "Hey girl," he greets the red mare there greets him back with a small neigh. "seems like I can't get rid of you after all." He chuckles to the mare.

"Your horse?" Scar asks as he helps his brother onto this red mare.

"Sort of, it used to belong to my wife, but Star here has always preferred me over her."

Scar hesitates for a second, hearing that his brother had a wife and from the sounds of it; she's gone now. It takes him quite aback that his brother got a life here in Xing. Compared to himself— He shakes the thoughts away and mounts the red mare as well.

Alphonse mounts the plain brown and Mei the dark grey, with all of them ready, they ride off to Ishval.

* * *

 **And the brothers of Ishval has been united again! yay~!**  
 **The horse Star comes from an old FMA draft I made a few years back, but one you'll never get to read. I don't find that story good enough to read for others.**

 **Feel free to write them to me if you have any chapter suggestions. I do from time to time draw inspiration out from your comments**


	5. Memory lane

They return to Ishval, and the first Scar decides to do with Shade is buy him a new pair of glasses, knowing his brother; he is probably dealing with a headache by now. He remembers his brother always complained about it when his glasses broke for some weird reason and had to cope without for a few days until the new pair would arrive.  
Shade didn't complain much about it during the travel, but Scar has the feeling it's because his brother has been sleeping most of the time. Mei did mention that it was good Shade is resting since it would speed up his recovery, Scar has the feeling his brother knew about this as well, wouldn't really surprise him.  
But Shade can't sleep at this moment, though; Scar needs him awake for he can't recall what strength his glasses required even if his life depended on it. It wasn't the thing he thought about back when they last saw one another; all he knew that his brother couldn't see a darn thing without them.  
That made Scar thinks back to when he was just a small kid with no worries about war and death or thoughts filled with darkness in his mind.  
Back then, he used to mess with his brother studies by hiding his glasses all kind of weird places and sometimes even forgot where he hid them. It was probably one of the few times his brother could get angry at him. Also one of the only few times his brother had been doing physical fighting instead of using his words. Although the closet his brother ever got into being lethal, it was when he threw that huge book at him. It hit him square in the face and Scar is sure it knocked him out. His brother did quickly calm down after that and 'nursed' him back to health by putting a wet cloth over the bruise and laugh at him at the same time. It had turned into roughhousing since Scar back then did have quite the temper.  
Scar always felt a great pain in his heart when memories like these popped into his mind, but now... glancing to Shade getting help finding the right pair of glasses. Now, this memory fills him with joy they were supposed to. Shade finds the right pair of glasses and the second they are on; Scar is suddenly taken aback to yet another memory lane of all the times his brother would give him that knowing look as if he exactly knew what was going on in whatever situation they were in.

Shade, on the other hand, is just happy he can see correctly again, the smile quickly drops when he realizes that he doesn't have any money to buy them.

"I'll pay." Scar says when noticing the issue, and bit glad he has a small distraction from his memories. After having paid for the glasses, he leaves the shop with Shade close behind him.

"Thanks, but how did you know I needed..." Shade stops his question, for now that he can properly see this other man who has been very fierce on keeping him safe. "Wait," the man stops, giving him an emotionless look but Shade can somehow read through this facade, this man is quite tense, no hopeful, but for what? He reaches out for this man's face, musing, "I know you." This man looks familiar to him, but he just can't places from where.

Scar freezes up hearing those words, only his relentless training is keeping him from revealing any emotions, but it is getting incredibly hard when the man- his brother gently puts his left hand on his face, letting him know this is real.

Shade stares into this other one's eyes, he knows this man, but where or how; his mind refuses to tell. Only that seeing that scarred mug he feels so happy. "Who are you? Do you know me?" He asks this stranger and yet familiar person.

Scar doesn't answer, too caught off guard by the fact that his brother somehow managed to recognize him without even knowing. Slowly he does recover and replies the overly confused man. "I'm... I'm your younger brother."  
Shade's hand jerks away from his face, his face holds a startled expression. "You're my... brother?" He slowly asks, as if he can't believe the words. Scar nods; about to explains that this might come as a shock and he will accept it if Shade needs time to adjust to it. But those words never gets the chance to leave his mouth, for the next second; Shade pulls him into a one-armed hug.

"I have a brother." He whispers in genuine joy about this new revelation, he never thought he had more other than his children, and now a man is telling him they are family. Yes, the man can be lying, but Shade saw the truth in this man's eyes and knows this is not a lie.

This quick adjustment and acceptance, followed by the genuine love he recognizes far too well is the last straw; he cannot keep his emotions in control anymore, not around him. Scar returns the hug, quietly cries into Shade's borrowed poncho of the pure relief that he got his older brother back and he cannot thanks Ishvala enough for letting his brother come back to him alive.

Shade doesn't know why, but seeing his newfound brother cry catches him off guard as if this isn't normal. Part of his mind reminds him that his brother must've really believed him to be dead and suffered with it for years to get such a reaction out from him. But again, Shade is not sure. Hell! He didn't even know he had a brother a minute back! He quickly recovers though and lets this man get those bottled up emotions out; he's sure this one needs it.

Even when he recovered from his small breakdown, Scar can't make himself step away from his brother's comforting embrace. It's funny, back when they were kids; he hated it when his older brother hugged him when he was upset, now he embraces it.  
"Feeling better?"  
Scar nods, and with the sense, he has made enough fool out of himself for today. He steps away from his brother's embrace, musing. "It's been long since you last held me like that."  
Shade quirks a smile, tilting his head ever so slightly. "I have to believe your words on it." He says in that calm tone of his.  
Oh right, his brother has no memories of their past whatsoever, Scar realizes. It makes him quite surprised that Shade accepted his words of them being family this quickly. Then again; this is his brother after all. The man has always been scarily good at reading him, even better than their parents. Drove him insane back when they were young.  
"Let's get you back to your daughters." Scar tells him and leads Shade away. They catch up to Alphonse and Mei, here Shade asks surprised. "Oh, so you have already met your nieces?"  
Scar nods, and it was a very pleasured surprise he got there. "The meeting was short, but they seem like sweet kids."  
"That they are, although I at times wishes Selena wouldn't be such an adventurous girl." Shade remarks in a chuckle, explaining Scar quite amused; "She's like an overconfident cat."  
More like a lioness with that fire in her eyes, Scar thinks.

"Will you be alright?" Alphonse asks Shade, he wants to head back to Rush Valley and tell Winry and his own brother about this small adventure, but he doesn't want to leave Shade if he doesn't feel comfortable around Scar. It doesn't matter if they are supposed to be in family with one another, it's not like Shade remembers that.  
But Shade does feel comfortable around the scarred man, more than comfortable in fact. "I will be now, all thanks to the two of you." They have helped him get reunited not only with a part of his past, but also a lost family member.  
Scar too must voice his gratitude, "Thank you."  
Alphonse shoots Scar a single stare, not really wanting the thanks from this guy. He turns back to Shade, "Best of luck Shade. If you get into any trouble, I, Mei and my brother will help you any way we can."  
Shade nods and the two leave the two Ishvalens, heading back to the train station.

With them gone, Shade turns to his newfound brother. "Nice kids, sure hope I will see them again soon."

Scar doesn't answer; he doesn't mind Mei Chang one bit, she's a sweet girl and one he has come to care for like family. Alphonse Elric on the other hand, well all they have ever settled on is a shaky agreement that they shouldn't try harm the other unless there is one hell of a good reason. "We'll take the horses." He instead says, giving the reigns of the red mare there apparently belongs to his brother. "There's still some kilometers between us and where your children are." And he highly doubts his brother can walk on his own the whole way, yes his wounds are more or less healed, but Scar doesn't want to take any chances.  
Shade didn't look bothered by his brother's words and with some trouble- thanks to the frailness from his injuries and the lack of an arm- he gets onto his horse. "Alright, it means I only have to suffer under the sun," he remarks and glances up to said sun, asking a bit annoyed from how hot it is. "have I really been living in this before? It feels like I'm getting cooked alive."  
Scar almost laughs by this ignorant question; he does keep himself in the skin from doing it, though, only a ghost of a smile appears on his face. "You will get used to it."  
They ride in silence for a while, then broken by the dreaded question from Shade. "What's your name?"

Shade watches the man riding beside him, taking notice of a pained expression appears on his brother's stone face. He gets the feeling he won't get the answer, so instead, explains what he has so far figured out by listing when he had been awake under his brother's conversations between the two others. "Mei and Alphonse had a habit calling you Scar; I presume it comes from the large scar on your forehead, and from how she and Alphonse have been saying it. The word Scar is their name for you." Glancing at the now extremely tense man, but decides to continue on his guesswork. "I take you don't want anyone to know your name— out of pride perhaps?" The pained look increases, and he gets an idea of why. "No, not out of pride, there's more to it than that. Can it be you're doing it because hearing your name causes you great distress: possible from the war? Selena often suffers nightmares from it. No, that's only the start of it, so the—"  
"Stop."  
Shade blinks, turning back to the man. He looks as if suffering from extreme pain.  
"No more." Scar almost begs his brother; he has completely forgotten how observant his brother really can be. He's not only can figure out how alchemy works, but also what is wrong with Amestris alchemy, create both the arms of deconstruction and reconstruction and the reverse transmutation circle in a matter of a couple of years. He has forgotten his brother knows how to read him like an open book and that he cannot hide anything from his brother and now; more than ever wishes he could. "Please don't talk about it..." But he knows deep inside that his brother will discover what he has done, and Scar dreads his reaction, for facing his brother about the time when he went on a rampage of vengeance and defiling his right arm of deconstruction will be the hardest thing he'll ever do. His brother's disappointment and anger of his actions, maybe even reject him as family... that will be the worst punishment of them all.  
Is this why God has allowed his brother to survive? Scar is likely to think so, and yes he would deserve that punishment but... he can't bear the thought of his brother turning his back on him. Then he will rather die.  
Shade stares at Scar for about a minute, watching the pain and regret flashing through that scarred and worn-out face of the younger man. Then Shade looks away, musing softly. "Alright," to carefully asks since he didn't want to cause the man more suffering. "What do you wish me to call you?"

"Whatever you like."

Shade nods slowly, thinking he will simply call this man: "Brother, it is then." That's what he is to him after all. He would still like this man's real name, and from how his brother reacted- stopped his pondering, Shade has a feeling he got quite close to the reason why the man doesn't want to be called his name anymore. Does that also count about his name? "What about my name?" Again that pained expression returns on his brother's face and the theory that the man feels sincere regret about something is back.

"You will have to ask the elders for it." Scar replies, not feeling worthy uttering his brother's name anymore, he does not want to spoil his brother's name with the filth that is still tainting him from his unjust killing spree. "I do not deserve speaking your name."

"Why?"

He doesn't answer.

Shade watches the man carefully and very thoughtfully; he will keep his ears open for anything people have to say about his brother. Might solve this mystery, even though he does dread what his brother has done if he's so afraid of his reaction that he refuses to tell him anything. The name thing, however. "I want you to say it."

"I can't."

"Then I will stay as Shade until I remember."

Scar's eyes harden hearing this statement; he doesn't want his beloved brother bear that name. It's not worth him. But if there is one thing they both have in common: it's their stubbornness.  
Shade won't ask anyone about his name, and since he will never speak it. His brother will only learn about it if his memories ever return, which might never happen. There is a sad irony in this, two brothers, once carrying sacred names, but the war in Ishval removed both those names. They both bear a name giving from others: the scarred murder and the shadow of a former self. Scar hates it, hates that his brother chose this same path of being a nameless, lost person. "You're a fool." He growls, but of course, being his older brother; Shade gives him that infuriating nonchalant shrug.  
If his brother hadn't been wounded, then Scar probably would have punched him.

* * *

 **I am certain that if you have a sister or a brother, you will know that unlike others, a sibling exactly knows what to do to piss you off. I have that with my sister. I may not have hidden her glasses, but she has thrown the book at me. I deserved it though.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.**


	6. Men of wisdom

"Daddy!" Both Selena and Harika cry in joy when they see their father come walking into the house Major Miles has kept the kids. They tackle their father down, so all three ends up on the floor. Didn't matter to any of them though, Shade the least; he's just so happy to see his kids again to worry about a sour back and jolts of pain going through his right side.  
"I thought you would go away like mommy...!" Harika cries into his chest. Scar feels so sorry to hear this but does not speak as he has no wish in ruining this happy moment.

Shade hugs his youngest with his remaining arm. "I feared that too for a while." He admits, to then looks up to Scar with a joyful smile. "Good thing we got family not wanting that."

"Sure is!" Selena beams, "he went after you the second he heard!" Harika nods in agreement.

"I believe he did; seems like the type who would recklessly run into danger without thinking." Shade laughs.

Scar scowls by that hint of teasing about his protective side. His brother is the one to talk. After all, who was it there used his own body as a meat shield between a manic State Alchemist's alchemy and the younger brother? Scar's thoughts are quickly forgotten when he suddenly gets two girls hugging him, looking down he sees the overjoyed looks in his nieces' eyes.

"Thank you for returning back our daddy!" Selena says.  
Harika nods. "Yes, thank you."

He simply nods before turning back to his brother who is getting back on his feet; he does have a bit of the trouble since he lacks an arm. "When you have recovered further, I will help you find a suitable automail engineer." He tells him.

Shade nods then turn to the other man standing in the room, unlike most other people he has seen on their way here, this one is dressed quite differently by wearing a sort of uniform. "Judging by your outfit and the way you're standing; I say you're a sort of warrior."

"Very impressive observations, I'm a soldier." Major Miles praises the older brother of Scar, the man's oldest kid did more than once tell him that Shade here has no memories further back than ten years and all that time he has been in Xing. So he has no idea how an Amestrian soldier looks like. "Name's Major Miles." He offers the man his left arm since Shade here is missing the right.

Shade shakes it, asking a bit suspicious. "Major isn't your name, right? It sounds more like a title."

"Correct, Major is my rank in the military," Miles explains the man, adding. "I will tell you further about the ranking system in the military later, but right now I suggest you rest and catches up with your daughters."  
Shade nods and the Major turns to Scar, even though the man is supposed to aid him with several things here today; Miles is certain Scar needs to catch up with his newfound family. "I'll come tomorrow." and leaves.  
"You're in the military too?" Shade asks Scar while allowing his oldest daughter to sit on his lab.

Scar shakes his head. "No, but I am working very closely with them." A certain General is, however, considering him as her soldier, and he doubts she ever will cut him loose since he pretty much owes her his life and freedom. He takes a seat right beside his brother. "I am helping them rebuilding Ishval."

"How long have you been doing that?"

"About three years by now." Scar replies, most of Ishval's houses have been restored, but the culture is still lacking as most of their books and those who carried the torch of their belief are pretty much all gone. He shifts a bit unsure when his brother's youngest daughter asks him to be put on his lap. He hesitates but obeys her small command, letting her do a sort of game with his right arm and the tattoo covering it.

Shade eyes land on the tattoo, noticing right away how familiar it looks to his own. Letting his eyes scan the left, he realizes why: his brother has the same tattoo as him on his left, which means he has the complete set.

Scar notices how his brother is staring at the tattoos, knowing what question will come up so he figures he might as well answers it now. "These arrays were part of your research." He won't, however, reveal that his right arm once was Shade's. Telling that will only lead to questions he does not wish to answer. But he feels that his brother deserves to know about his research. Scar reaches out his right arm, letting the creator of these markings get a proper look at them. "If you wish; you can study the array you have been missing."

"I would like that very much," Shade says, he pulls up his glasses and his observant red eyes scans the array up and down, putting together what it's supposed to do and what it all means. When all the pieces put together, he hums thoughtfully. "I've always wondered why I only had an array for reconstructing. Now I realize why; I had been missing the other arm." Glancing at where his automail arm should've been, now only a pitiful stump left. "I hate to go through that again, but I really need my right arm."

Scar winches ever so slightly by how Shade said it, fortunately, his brother did not get a proper read on him this time, nor sees anything wrong with him slowly pulling his right arm back. Shade's too busy thinking about this small discovery. "Yes, I think I remember this. The right arm of deconstruction and left of reconstruction, together they can perform a complete transmutation—a complete circle." A yawn from Selena snaps him out from his thoughts, and the father of the two notices how tired the two girls are. He quirks a smile and suggests to them amused. "Seems like it's about time you two heads to bed."

"Not tired..." Selena grumbles, with Harika more asleep than awake and looks ready to use Scar as her bed.  
Shade sends his brother a knowing look and Scar obliges, first carries Harika, then brings Selena to bed. Letting their father kisses them goodnight.

Shade notices how calm Harika has gotten, not afraid of her surroundings like she was back in Xing. That's a good sign.  
Leaving the room, Scar suggests Shade should get some rest as well. "You're still healing."  
"Not sure I can sleep." Shade muses, eyeing the man beside him. "I got so many questions."

"You will have plenty of time getting those question answered." Scar assures him, quite amazed that even with amnesia; his brother's mind just can't rest in search of knowledge. "Now, you will rest."  
Shade obliges, before Scar leaves the room though, the one-armed man remarks teasingly. "Something tells me this isn't the first time you have told me this."  
His brother has no idea. Scar has lost count on how many times he has almost to force his brother to bed when finding the older one reading far out of the night; screwing with his circadian rhythm completely. It drove him nuts and knowing his brother; that stupid habit will return. "It isn't, now go to bed." He commands his brother hard and leaves. He hears a soft chuckle from the room and Scar can't stop himself from smiling either, although that's because he's not as alone as he believed. Before going to bed himself, Scar makes sure to thanks Ishvala for this blessing giving to him.

The next day, Scar thought he would be the first one up, which is at the break of dawn but to his surprise and also irritating, his brother's habit of staying up late has already surfaced. He finds the man sleeping, not in his bed but at the living room table with a small pile of books lying around him. Scar rolls his eyes and without a word starts cleaning up the mess his brother have made. He notices that the books Shade have read all are about what little Amestris knows about Ishval; which isn't much. Scar is however, sort relived his brother has decided to study about their culture; it will help him understand why the Ishvalen people do certain things. Maybe also makes Shade understand that many of their people do not fancy alchemy, it has gotten loosen a bit up after the Promise Day, but many still have lingering memories of what alchemy did to their home and loved ones. Hopefully, their people will let his brother do his alchemy, the man did after all study alchemy to bring people together—not that Shade remembers...  
"Brother." He nudges the man awake, and Shade stirs slightly at first then he straightens up with a yawn, "Is it morning already?" Shade asks.  
"Did you study all night?" Scar asks him judging, not that ever bothered his brother.

"Couldn't sleep." Shade brushes the tone of Scar off. He stretches out his rather sour back from have fallen asleep practically on the floor, using the small table as his pillow. "So I thought I might as well read up on what it meant to be an Ishvalen. These books weren't the greatest but reading what little they got; I do recall our god Ishvala." He does a light tap on the book before him and has to admit, "but I do not think I will start doing prayers as of yet. Been living in a different culture and life does that, but I will try not to use my alchemy too often."

"The people's view on alchemy has changed." Scar replies, now that he's both older and wiser when it comes to the subject of alchemy; been using it himself. Scar has gotten greatly aware that his brother's alchemy can be dangerous in the wrong's person hands— such as a person like himself. But like any tool, alchemy can be used for good. "If you have any of the morals I remember you having, our people wouldn't mind you performing alchemy."

Shade chuckles, both delighted but also a bit nervous that he might not be the same person his brother remembers. "I might not be the same man you remember..."  
"You haven't changed." Scar says, picking up the last book. "Maybe some of your viewpoints, but not the core of who you are." And he puts the books back to where they belong.

"I have changed."

Scar turns back to his brother, not sure what he meant for so far everything Shade does is something he did back when he last saw him.

"I don't remember anything about our home..." Shade tells him sadly, he lifts his arm, showing the alchemy array. "Don't even remember what made me start study alchemy when it's clearly frowned upon in the Ishvalen way of life and belief."  
"What made you study alchemy back in Xing?" Scar asks him.

Shade shifts position, scratching the back of his head with an embarrassed look on his face. "It might sound silly, but all I wanted was to help people."

Not entirely the same reason, but the core is still there. His brother always wanted to help people in his unique sort of way.

"I have gotten quite good at it." Shade continues.  
Scar notices that his tone sounds proud, his brother often got that tone when he spoke about something he really has a passion for and done a lot of research on.

"Good enough that the chief of the Wang clan accepted me as his healer. Although I do have the feeling, he mostly did it because of his daughter..."

"Your wife?"

Shade nods slowly, he's still smiling but now a sad one. "You would've liked her. She was a very talented alchemist healer, very kind woman. Bit of a tough lover, though. She wouldn't stop bugging me before I agreed to get the automail arm."

"Sounds like the two of you suited one another."

"Yeah... when she died... part of me desperately tried to figure out a way to bring her back..."

Scar's eyes wide hearing this, his brother... had considered human transmutation? Did he do it? "Did you?"  
"No." Shade shakes his head, but has to admit, "the thought crossed my mind several times, I admit that but..." He sighs sadly, his remaining hand clenches. "Who am I to say who lives and who dies? And besides... how could I possibly recreate a flawed— wonderful woman such as Li?"

That's not exactly how he would've describes his love, Scar thinks. His face must have betrayed him for the moment Shade looks up to him, the older man laughs softly and points out. "It was those flaws I loved so much about her. There is no growth in something flawless, and that makes it boring."  
Now that he mentions it, Scar thinks about what makes him care about people and realizes that it's both their strength and flaws. He never thought it about it that way before his brother pointed it out.  
Yes, even now, without most of his memories, his brother still has that wisdom of his. Without it, he would've done something stupid: such as human transmutation. "You are a very wise man, brother."  
And he had to lose him before he would fully realize how much he had depended on his brother's wisdom. "Always have."  
Back then he had been too stubborn to listen to what his brother had been trying to tell him, maybe if he had, then he wouldn't have gone on a murderous rampage.

Shade quirks a smile of this praise, but even though his brother considers him wise, there is still a lot he does not understand and needs to understand. One of those things is getting to know his brother and their homeland better. "Maybe, but even a wise person like me has a lot to learn." and he's glad there is, he rather not get bored as that makes him do stupid things in an attempt to remove said boredom.

A shuffling sound makes both of them turn to the children's room, and a very bushy-haired Selena comes walking out. She mutters an incoherent morning before she crawls up beside her daddy and falls back asleep in such a manner that Scar cannot help but think of a cat.  
"Give her ten minutes, and she will be out and causing trouble," Shade says, making Scar raises a brow for he's not seeing a hyperactive kid in Selena right now.

* * *

 **being smart is not the same being wise, at least not in my eyes. I see wisdom as something only people with a lot of experience and does a lot of thought on the subject have.  
**

 **Scar, for example, is very smart but he wasn't very wise back in the manga, he did become wiser when he realized that killing people out of revenge will lead to nothing but more hatred and despair.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.** **  
**


	7. The research notes

**hello again, sorry it took this long for the next chapter. I have been rather busy making drawings for a certain person, so it took me a while writing this chapter down. think its length makes up for it. I do not know when next will come out, don't really have a firm plot on this one as I just wanted to write about Scar's brother.**

* * *

Major Miles heads towards Scar's house, wondering how the scarred man and his newfound brother have been spending their time and how much Shade's amnesia has been affected their relationship. From those few times Scar spoke about his brother, it was always with such a sense of great sadness, hint of pride and respect when explaining people about his brother's vast knowledge- not only in alchemy but in all kind of subjects his brother had decided to learn in order to sate his great thirst for knowledge.  
So Miles is very interested in getting to know the older brother of Scar better, see how the creator of the arrays on Scar's arms is as a person.  
Approaching the house, Miles notices a child's laughter coming from inside. He removes the drape covering the door, heads inside and finds an adorable yet strange scene with the once killer.  
Scar is lying on the floor, having the pale-skinned Ishvalen girl Selena sitting on his back and covering his head with that turquoise green scarf which Selena roughly stroking her hands against it. Declaring victorious: "Behold; my greatest attack!" She pulls the scarf off and pokes his cheek, a sound of electricity, revealing what the girl has been doing. The funny part of this scene is that Scar; a man who has killed some of the most powerful State Alchemists; is getting his ass handed by a teenager girl.

"Show mercy little moon child, your power is too great." Scar tells her and for once has more than just a hint of amusement in his voice. Young Selena hugs his neck with a whooping laugher, telling her watching father proudly. "I told you I could defeat him!"

"You sure did," Shade says from his spot at the table, having the youngest one sitting on his lap and is reading the book he found for her.

Oh, how amusing it is to watch Scar has been put down to a whipped dopey uncle type by a small girl. Clearly, the man has more than a soft spot for children; considering he let the girl from Xing tag along, even protected her back when he still was a wanted man. Chuckling, Miles tells the 'defeated' man on the floor. "Maybe I overestimated your strength Ishvalen, for it seems you cannot handle a little girl."

"It's Selena to you, mister!" Selena exclaims confidently, pointing up at him while still sitting on Scar like he is a hunting trophy. "I may be small, but it's because I'm compacted with danger!"

All Miles does is raises a brow of her words. Yup, he can clearly see she's in family with Scar with that attitude. She just has more of it in her mouth instead of action like the nameless Ishvalen. "She's surely not lacking confidence." He remarks to Shade who smirks back in agreement. Back to the still floored Scar or rather the girl keeping his co-worker prisoner. "May I have your punching bag? I'm going to need him for today's assessments." Scar scowls at what he called him, but that's all the scarred man does.

Selena thinks about it for a moment. "Hm, okay." She shrugs and jumps off, allowing Scar to get back on his feet.

Scar can see what his brother meant with Selena being like a wildcat, she doesn't really fancy being commanded around, only if there is a good reason. That and she has the strength the children of the moon have. Yet, she still has the fire of the sun like most Ishvalens have. Speaking of the sun. "Brother, you should pay our local doctor a quick visit. He will get you three a salve against the sun, you and Harika will get used to the sun over time-"

"But Selena will need it, I'm aware." Shade finishes for him, nodding in understanding. To be frank, he had been planning on asking if the town has a doctor, and he also would like to see what the lands of Ishval have to offer. "After that, I would like to investigate the town, maybe the marketplace. See if anything is interesting."

"The market has a lot of different food to offer," Miles tells the man. "Soon we should get goods from Xing as well, but for now; you'll have to settle on what the rest of Amestris has to offer."

"If you buy any food, do me a favor brother:" Scar eyes his older brother in a way there says 'I'm serious about this' "Let me cook it."  
Miles sends him a question look and Scar explains. "The only thing he never got the hang of." He still remembers clearly all the horrors of food his brother made the few times their mother told him to cook  
and how no one— not even the local stray dog would eat it. Easy to say that their mother quickly stopped asking him to help her in the kitchen.  
Shade smiles sheepishly. "I'll keep that in mind."

Scar briefly explains to him where they can find the doctor before leaving the house with Miles, having the thought he won't be surprised if his brother hasn't left the medical clinic when he's done with the morning work.

After having gotten some breakfast, Shade and his daughters head over to the local doctor. There is a single woman before them, so they will have to wait. Patience is something Harika still hasn't mastered and about ten minutes later, she starts complaining about her boredom. "How much longer do we have to wait?" She whines, hanging over her father's shoulders. Shade turns away from his book, glancing up to the girl whose hanging is starting to push off his glasses. "I don't know." He tells her calmly. "You simply has to be patience."

"Can't you tanmute something?"

"Transmute, dear. And no, I will not."

"Why not~?" Harika whines disappointed.

There is a good thing to see her get impatience again. It shows she's not as scared as she was in Xing. Dealing with an impatience kid is easier than a paranoid one. "Because, if I transmute something, I either have to ruin the floor or any the nice things the doctor has. We can't have that can we?" Not to mention that alchemy is not a toy to play with.

Harika shifts embarrassed. "...Guess not." She didn't really think about it like that. Still, she wants something to happen so she won't be so bored. "But I'm so bored...!"

Shade gestures at the book he found inside the waiting room, not exactly his kind of read but better than nothing he guesses. "Tell you what, I can read you this book aloud." Harika doesn't really seem to fancy the idea, but she's bored enough to do anything. So she takes a seat on his lap, letting him read the magazine.

Selena did listen to their father's read aloud, but only with a half ear as she has found her source of entertainment in a wayward lizard skittering over the floor to get caught once again by her when it gets too far away. Selena watches this quite scared lizard in her hands, intrigued how it threw off its tail when she caught it the first time. She hasn't seen many lizards in Xing, so getting a closer look at one here is a treat.  
When the former patient leaves the doctor's room and the doctor requesting them coming inside, Selena releases the probably very relieved lizard back outside, following her father and tells him what she had caught.

"And you sat it free when you were done?"

Selena nods. "I did, and I think it appreciated it."

"I'm sure it did," Shade agrees, glad Selena treated that lizard with some respect. She can, after all, be quite rough when she gets too excited about something.  
The small family steps into the doctor's room, Shade has to bite his own lips so he wouldn't gasp at how this doctor's face looks. The whole face is disfigured by a lot of nasty scars like someone has torn it up and then put it back wrongly. His daughters, on the other hand, don't have that form of self-control.

"What's wrong with his face?" Harika asks scared, hiding behind him. Selena isn't as scared as she is curious and gives the seemly used to this doctor a scanning look. "It looks like grated cheese."

"Girls!" Shade scolds them, both girls look quite startled up to him as it is rare he gets angry and raises their voice at them. "You don't say such crude things to people." He lectures both.  
"We're sorry." Both say, but Shade doesn't want their apologies. "Say it to the doctor, not me." And they say it to the now amused doctor.  
Shade gives the scarred man an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that."

"It's quite alright, they're not the first children asking such questions." The doctor brushes it off, not really bothered by the pale girl's ignorant insult, but he must admit that it's the first time anyone has called him a grated cheese.

"Probably not the last either." Shade remarks, giving the two embarrassed girls a look that states they better not insult the man further.

The doctor agrees with the Ishvalen's words, he chuckles lightly before asking since he has come to know almost anyone in the city of Arjun. "Are you new around? I can't recall seeing you or your daughters before."

"That's correct, we have been living in Xing beforehand." Shade explains the doctor, blinking when the man muses thoughtfully. "Hm, I wonder how many other Ishvalens has fled to Xing after the war?"  
Again that with the war thing, but Shade doesn't want to ask about it now; not with Selena around. He doesn't want to make her relive those memories again. So instead, he replies to the man with a shrug. "That I do not know: I never met others in the years I had lived there."

"Of course—oh, where are my manners." The doctor realizes he hasn't properly introduced himself. "I'm doctor Tim Marcoh." And doctor Marcoh offers this new Ishvalen his hand. Shade wants but can't shake it since he's missing that hand. It's not like Marcoh can see that since the poncho his brother gave him is covering both his arms. "I don't have a right hand at the moment..." He explains the doctor, taking Marcoh off guard, more so when Shade offers him his left with: "but I still have the left." Revealing the well-known tattoos of reconstructions.

Marcoh takes a step back seeing those tattoos on someone else's arm. Only Scar should be wearing them since he helped the man to recreate these marks out from his right one.

Shade blinks of this move from the doctor, his confusions do get answered when the doctor asks almost fearfully. "Where did you get that array?"  
"Hm? Oh, I have it as long as I remember." Shade replies, giving the tattooed arm a small glance before dropping it back under the poncho's cover. "According to my brother, I created this one along with the one used for deconstruction."

"Y-Your brother?" Marcoh repeats, eyes wide of what his head is putting together. Scar told him about the creator of those two arrays, but Scar always said he died during the war of Ishval. "Is your brother a man with a large scar on his forehead?"

Shade nods and his confusions increases but also starts to worry when the doctor falters on his feet.

Marcoh grabs the table's corner right before he collapses onto the floor of who is standing before him. "I can't believe it... you're Scar's older brother!" He starts laughing, catching Shade and the two kids very much off guard. The two girls look up to their father, hoping he knows what is going on with the grated cheese doctor, but their dad looks just as startled by this reaction. More so, when Marcoh tells him with so much gratitude. "I never thought I would get the chance to be thanking the man who helped us to save this country!"

"What?" Shade asks, this is getting strange and sort of annoying when he doesn't remember anything from before Xing. "I did what? Me? Saved this country? How?"

This time it is Marcoh's turn to get taken off guard, for a moment thinking he got the wrong guy. But it has to be, this man said Scar is his brother, he has the array AND missing his right arm.  
Shade shakes his head lightly from the warning headache he got from the news that he apparently has saved a whole country, what is he? Some sort of hero? He doubts it, but then again; he doesn't remember. "I'm sorry. This is quite overwhelming."

"Daddy does not remember anything before Xing." Selena says from her spot, poking a fake skeleton with her sister watching and unsure if she should join or not./p

Ah, that makes more sense. With memory loss, Scar's brother wouldn't know about anything about what happened in Amestris. But doesn't that also means... "How do you remember your brother then?"

Shade snaps his attention back to the doctor, allowing the girls to mess with the man's stuff a while longer. "Oh, he told me. Of course, he could've been lying but the one you know as Scar doesn't seem like a person who would lie about something like this."

"No, even with everything he has done, Scar is still a very honorable man." Marcoh agrees, he has been around Scar long enough to know that. He blinks at the confused look Scar's brother gives him and he realizes that the man doesn't know what Scar had been doing a few years back. And honestly: he does not want to be the guy telling the older brother that. "You can trust his words." Scar's brother simply nods, and even though the man doesn't remember; Marcoh still wishes to show his gratitude. "Without the research notes you left your brother, we might not have won. For that, a lot of people owe you their lives. If you wish to see your old notes; I still have them."

"I would like that very much, but that can wait." And Shade explains his reason for being here in the first place.

Marcoh is at first a bit confused why Scar sent them here, several shops sell the sun resistance salve, then realizes that Scar might have sent them to him so he could adequately meet the older brother of the man. He feels quite honored the former killer trusted him with such a meeting. Scar always spoke with such pride, but mostly great sadness when the topic came to his older brother.  
He hands the older brother of Scar the salve, explaining him. "In the future, you can simply buy it in the local shops- as for your oldest daughter." Looking at her properly now, Marcoh realizes that this one isn't Amestris- which wouldn't make sense if she is this man's daughter. No, the girl is an albino. He has met a single person with this condition before, but never an Ishvalen. It's quite curious to see an Ishvalen without the trademark brown skin and red eyes. He fetches a salve people from far up north or with incredible sun-sensitive skin gets when coming this far south. This girl going to need it since albinism removes the dark pigments in the skin which protects the person against the sun rays and won't get nasty sunburns. "This should protect her skin, but it won't make her immune, so I suggest proper clothing when out in the midday sun."

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you, doctor." And with the business out of the way, Shade thinks he can allow himself letting the hungry beast for knowledge- as his wife used to call it- out. "If you don't have any more patients today, could you indulge me with my old research notes?"

Marcoh smiles. "Of course."

"You can go outside and play if you like." Shade suggests to his kids. He doesn't think they will find a bunch of old papers that interesting. "Just stay close to the building."  
"We will!" Selena promises and runs out with her younger sister close behind.  
"Don't forget your salve!" Shade calls after them, not really sure if they heard him or not, but he figures they did since Selena pulls out her new salve and puts it on her and Harika's skin before storming outside.

Marcoh walks over to his worktable, takes out a once again put together and worn notebook and hands it to its rightful owner. The doctor watches quietly the older brother of Scar read the first pages with a focused gleam in his red eyes. A look Marcoh has seen many times before in other alchemists, never in Scar's eyes though. Yes, Scar's brother is indeed an alchemist in heart.

"Some of the words... they are different." Shade muses, he recognizes them but cannot place what the words mean.  
"They are ancient Ishvalen," Marcoh replies, about to explain what they mean but the Ishvalen stops him. "No, don't say it. I want to figure it out myself. My mind thrives on codes and mysteries like this." So Marcoh stays quiet, watching the first Ishvalen alchemist try and break his own code.  
Shade takes a seat, skimmed his eyes over the text in the book, as he gets through the pages, he starts to recognize it and the style of writing as his own. Slowly, as he continues stumbles on the word he at first couldn't translate, realizes what it means. "Gold, it means gold." He muses, flapping the page to where another word for gold appears, but also another word, it takes him a moment, but he notices that word is 'immortality' and he starts to realize that the words 'gold' and 'immortality' are on every page, not always in the same word, but there. That must mean those two words hold some importance. He also takes notices that there is a subtle change on what side of the page he's reading. One side feels like Alchehestry and as for now the one he's most familiar with, the other side might be the alchemy Alphonse told him about. With this small fact in mind, Shade reads the words on each page more carefully but does quickly realizes that all that alchemy writing is not really useful. Just the basics about alchemy are written all fancily. "Oh, I see." Shade chuckles lightly and puts the book onto the medical table. "My style of hiding research hasn't changed much. Can you take it apart?" He asks the doctor who has been so kind enough letting him figure this out on his own. And Shade is glad he did, solving a mystery from his past self is exhilarated. It fills him with excitement; he only feels when facing a challenge of codes to a knowledge he yet has to understand.  
Marcoh separates the pages from each other, letting them spread out onto the table. He's quite awestruck how fast Scar's brother figured this conundrum out. "Do you remember?" He asks the other man.

"No," Shade admits, turning the page he's holding, trying to figure out what he should do with it now. "I mean, I recognize my style hiding research. Back at Xing, I always hid my research as history books. This isn't exactly written as a history book, more like a teacher's book like the one I read last night. Still, the style is there." He starts seeing a pattern again and begins to organize the pages slowly into a form of a circle. With the last page done, he grabs a pen and draws up the erased lines once again. Shade frowns at the transmutation circle he made, from how it had been hidden and how big it is. He figures this transmutation circle is a big deal. "Now, what do you do?" He muses, reading the put together words around the circle.  
The more he read, the more horrified he gets. Shade takes a step back, staring in fear at this transmutation circle. According to his old writings. This one should cover the whole country, each pointer at a place been covered in blood made of large conflics. One of those pointers is Ishval. Worse still, if this transmutation circle got activated: a lot of people will die. He turns to the doctor, fearful this transmutation circle still threatens to be activated in this country. "Please tell me this isn't looming over us anymore." For if that's the case, then why aren't people trying to stop it?

"Don't worry, the threat is over." Marcoh assures him, very impressed how quickly the man figured out the code. Then again, this was his old research notes and the Ishvalen did say that he recognized the writing style, so he had one advantage Marcoh and the others didn't have.

That's such a relief Shade thinks, yes giving this out as a warning could make whoever solved this a chance to stop the threat. But he feels like this isn't all his past self did. There is still the mystery of why the writing style changed from Amestris alchemy to Xing's alkahestry. What does that mean? Shade starts turning the pages and with the last one turned. He redrew the transmutation circle. After having read this new and more alkahestry based one's properties, Shade realizes that his past self has made a sort of counter to the one on the other side of the pages, something to draw out the limitless power of the earth and destroys something disturbing the other one was suppose to do. A reverse transmutation circle so to speak. Shade is beginning to understand why Doctor Marcoh here thanked him when he realized who he was. He has given a lot of people, maybe this whole country a fighting chance to whatever his past self discovered. Tapping lightly on the papers holding this new knowledge, Shade tells the doctor. "I'm glad my research helped."

"Your research saved a lot of people," Marcoh points out.

Shade doesn't reply, he's still wrapping his head around of what his old research notes taught him and how he has in an indirectly way has saved countless of people lives. Noting to himself, he better keeps that smug feeling in check, or he might turn out into an arrogant fool, but he will allow himself a moment of pride and a pat on the back over this grand succession. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Past midday, Scar is done with the morning duties and thinks it's about time to check up on his brother. knowing him; he probably still at Marcoh's place. He heads over to the clinic and to no real surprise finds his two nieces goofing around outside and from the looks of it: they have found themselves some new friends.  
Harika spots him first and calls happy after him. "Uncle!" It warms his heart hearing the girls call him that single word with so much love. Love, he long didn't think and still thinks he doesn't deserve. Yet, even though he doesn't deserve it, he will not hesitates for a second to show the girls how much he cares for them, how much having them around means. He lets the youngest jump up into his arms and he obliges by lifting her up. Has to braces himself when the wildcat to Selena does the same, least this time he doesn't end on the ground. "Did you finish your chores?" Selena asks him.  
"I did." He replies, although he wouldn't call what he did today for chores. Alright, maybe discussing the importance of the new well to the fields with Mustang can be considered a chore. He and the Brigadier General may have found neutral grounds, but the hostility still lies under the surface; one that might never go entirely away. But enough about the military, right now he wants to be with his family. "Where's your father?" He asks them, not one bit surprised with Harika's answer.

"He's solving puzzles with the weird faced doctor." Harika points at the clinic.  
"Yeah, his face looks like grated cheese." Selena remarks.

If Scar hasn't been so strictly trained in keeping his emotions under constant control; he might've laughed from how the girls described Marcoh. "Dad didn't like we called him that, though," Selena adds.  
Of course, he didn't and Scar wouldn't really either. "Your father is correct, it's not polite to call people names."

"Then everyone is being mean to you." Harika says, pointing out that she's indeed his brother's daughter from how observant she had been. "They call you scar because of what happened to your face; that's not very nice."

"That's different." Scar had really hoped they wouldn't have noticed it this soon, but what else could he expect from the children of his brother? "They are not calling me Scar out of spite, they are calling me this because that's my name for them."

"Why don't they call you by your real name?" Selena asks with a deep frown under that scarf of hers. "Don't you like your name?"

"I do, but..." how does he explain this? Lying to them won't work, as they will figure the truth out sooner or later but telling them their uncle is a mass murder; he cannot bring himself to do that either. "I have done some horrible things. Our god Ishvala does not consent such things, so I do not deserves bearing the name Ishvala gave me through my parents or priests."

"So... you lost your name because you did something awful?" Harika asks, mostly just to get this clear. She gasps and asks scared that she might too lose her name. "Can I lose mine too?!"

God, he hopes not. "No, you won't lose your name as long you stay fair, kind, and respects the teaching of Ishvala."  
"What kind of teaching?" Selena asks this time, she does recall the name of this god, but not really the teachings. Scar would tell them, but not now. "I will tell you later." He puts them both back down on the ground and turns to the clinic of Marcoh. "Right now; I need to get your father out so we can buy something to eat tonight."

"Good luck with that!" Selena laughs, she knows how hard time her second mother had getting him out from the study room.

Luck indeed. Scar sends the two off to play a bit more with the local children before heading inside Marcoh's clinic. "Brother?" He calls, reaching for the door with a strong sense of déjà vu. Stepping inside, the feeling of déjà vu gets stronger in seeing the mess of papers and books lying scattered all over the table. His brother seems to have been in an in-depth discussion with Marcoh before getting interrupted by his arrival.

"Oh, hey," Shade greets his brother and is surprised to see him here. "Finished with your duties already?"

Scar scans the many papers lying around the two alchemists, it's incredible how quickly his brother can make a mess. "What were you talking about?"  
In the past, he would've gotten angry at his brother of researching alchemy, but Scar has learned to be a bit more open-minded and reign in his temper.

"Medical mostly." Shade replies.

"Your older brother's new research is a valid resource in the medical community," Marcoh explains the scarred man with an excited gleam in his eyes. He admits it's been long he last has been around a fellow alchemist and healer. "He's been trying to teach me more about alkahestry, but I just can't wrap my head around this 'dragon pulse' business."  
"He will have to teach you about it some other day." Scar tells the doctor and turns to his brother. "You haven't been to the market place yet."

First there, Shade realizes how long he has been talking with Marcoh. "Ah, sorry about that..." He smiles embarrassed, scratching the back of his head. "Guess I forgot the time."  
Like he always does when doing research, typical brother. But something he no longer gets angry about, he has missed his brother so much these long years. "You can return back here tomorrow, figure Marcoh could set you with a small job." The healing trick of alkahestry is incredibly useful, he knows that fact by personal experience.

"I would love to." Marcoh replies, these few hours talking with Shade has been very enlightened and also a great honor.

Shade thanks for the possible job, however, there is one thing he would like first before taking any jobs or responsibilities. "I will take the offer, but only when I have both my arms." He places his hand over the stump of his right. The wounds have healed fully thanks to Mei and his own ability to heal wounds, so he should be able to get a new automail arm on it now. Marcoh did suggest he might be able to return the arm fully with Philsopher stone in his possession, but Shade doesn't want anything to do with that blood-red stone. Being near it makes his skin crawl from the disturbing chi that stone gives out. Marcoh looked quite surprised when he said this, which did lead to the dragon pulse conversation. But even if he hasn't gotten that creepy vibe from the stone, for some reason Shade doesn't want his right arm back. He isn't sure why, but seeing the stump doesn't fill him with grief or despair. It feels him with pride. And that's why he will instead get a new automail arm. But even though he knows it has to be done and he will be better off with the surgery. He still shudders by the thought of what he has to endure it all over again. "I really hoped I didn't have to go through this again but..." However, his mind is made up and he needs two hands, so; "brother, the moment you have the time. Can you help me find a suitable automail engineer?" Shade asks his brother with a determent gleam in his eyes.

Scar nods, of course, he will help his brother with that. And he wants his brother to have the best automail there is, which means they will be going to Rush Valley.  
"See you later, doctor." Shade bid Marcoh farewell and leaves along with Scar, both hearing the doctor replies back. "It was an honor meeting you."

The two pick up the kids and together head to the market place, here Shade tells his brother about his old research notes. "You know, looking at something I know was made by me, but has no memories about compiling them. It was very bizarre."

"Did you solve it?" Scar asks only mildly curious, he simply keeps on the subject just to hear his brother talk. Strange how he has missed it.  
"Took me a while, but I did." Shade replies proudly, glancing at one of the many stands that sell food. "And I'm glad that crisis is over."

Scar pays for the vegetables and fruits he bought, handing the two girls an apple to each. This kind of fruit had been a rarity in his youth but now; with the trading routes open to the rest of Maestris, it has become quite common.

"Was it bad?" Shade asks, turning to the back of his brother. "The crisis?"

"The hardest one I've ever fought." Scar replies, the fight with Bradley almost cost him his life. He is now genuinely grateful that Armstrong saved him. If she hadn't; then he would never have been reunited with his brother again. He stops and meets his brother's eyes. "But it had been all worth it. And I'm glad to have survived."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you." Shade muses, he wishes he could've remembered when he recovered from his coma. If he had, then he would have left Xing and tracked down his brother: help him any way he could— as much as a bookworm like him could anyway.  
Yes, it would've been comforting and kept him from going the path of vengeance, but Scar fears that if his brother had been around that time; then the Homunculi would've tried using him as a sacrifice. Maybe even killed him and that would've made him completely give in to the beast of vengeance. It might have been for the best that his brother had stayed in Xing all this time, safe and alive. "Don't be brother... What I fought during the crisis... I fear you wouldn't have survived those encounters or they would've forced you to work for them. Praise Ishvala you instead stayed in safety and-" he eyes the two girls chatter with one of the shop owners. "-you blessed the world with two wonderful children."

"Yeah," Shade smiles, his troubled mind of regret eases. If he hasn't stayed in Xing, Selena maybe never would have gotten a new family and Harika born. "They are a blessing indeed." Speaking about children. "Do you have any?"

"No."

"Any woman caught your eyes?"

"No." But apparently, his eyes betrayed him. That or his brother has become a mind reader as the older brother retorts with a teasing smile. "You are so lying, must be one heck of a woman if she finds that ugly mug of yours handsome."  
Scar shoots him a glare, he knows it is a trap and he hates himself for falling so easily for it. More so as his cheeks feel like the sun is burning them. "Like you're any better with the hermit behavior of yours." He retorts, suddenly feeling like the age he's supposed to be.

"I had a wife and trusts me when I say that she could make some impressive moves—"

"Brother!"

"Ooh, what were you thinking about?" Shade pretends to be shocked, but the grin on his face isn't deceiving anyone. "I was talking about how gracefully she could move when she practiced her fighting." and starts laughing of how flustered his brother has become. "Shame on you little brother: thinking such dirty thoughts about your big brother's wife."

Scar grumbles something incoherent, which only causes Shade to laugh harder. It did stop when the younger one punches him over the left shoulder. "There's no woman." He repeats in an irritable tone and leaves before his brother starts on his teasing again.

Caressing his sour shoulder, Shade follows Scar with a smirk on his lips. "Of course not."

* * *

 **I know far too well how times seems to disappear when engulfed into an interesting project. mostly happens to me when I am writing stories such as this one.**

 **do you guys feel the same when it comes to something?**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.**


	8. Going to Rush Valley

Scar opens his eyes to a sound that unintentionally brought him back to when he was a kid, back when he was sharing a room with his brother. It's a sound that back then filled him with annoyance, he admits even now he feels the same thing, but not as strongly anymore. "Why can't your mind ever rest?" He grumbles, considering just go back to sleep but decides otherwise and gets up from bed, heading into the living room where _–_ right and behold sits his brother with his nose in a book.

Shade jumps when he realizes Scar is here. "Oh, I didn't wake you did I?" He asks worriedly.

"You should be sleeping." Scar tells him in a matter of fact, especially what is going to happen tomorrow.

"I know..."

"But?"

Shade sighs and puts down the book, caressing his temple from mind spinning with more thoughts than usual. "My head won't let me. I have been shifting and turning these last three hours. So I thought I might as well be a little proactive."

Exactly like when they were young. When his brother got too many thoughts; his mind refuses his body rest. It has caused a lot of sleepless nights for his brother. Scar brews two cups of herb tea, handing one of them to Shade and takes a seat beside him. "What's on your mind?" He asks, to then frown when his brother gives him a surprised look. "What?"

"It's nothing." Shade returns back to the book, embarrassed this kind gesture took him off guard.

Scar does have an idea of why Shade gave him that look. Back when they were kids, he would often just gets very huffy at his brother staying up to study before he went back to sleep. And nearing the war of Ishval, he wouldn't really be around since his brother lived in his own house by then and most of their interactions had been heated arguments about how wrong it was to study alchemy. Hated the fact his brother dwelled his mind into such heresy but he loved his brother too much ever to dislike him personally, and he thinks his brother knew that. The few times, his brother noticed him watching; he would smile.  
Shaking off the memories, Scar gestures for his brother to tell whatever heresy he's now doing.

Shade takes a deep breath before explaining; "During the conversation with the doctor, we came into the subject about how the human body has a flow. Just like the ground has. I was aware of that, have tapped into it a few times. But it made me thinking; could I interact with this flow inside the human body to a more wanted effect?"

"I don't follow." Scar admits, he has never done much research on alchemy, most what he can do is more out of guesswork. Yes, he is smart enough to know how exactly alchemy works, but he has deliberately kept himself distance from doing further research on the matter. Back when he was a cold murder, he knew enough to use the right arm of deconstruction; turn the insides of a person into mush or cause great destructions to his surroundings. "Is this like the dragon pulse?"  
"Yes, except it's inside a person." Shade nods and puts his hand on Scar's right shoulder. "If I wanted, I could disrupt your inner dragon pulse and make you unable to use your right arm for about an hour."

Scar's eyes wide hearing this, his brother can really do such a thing? "What else can you do with this ability?" He asks, restraining himself from pulling away. He trusts his brother won't do this on him.

"Me? Only disable." Shade shrugs and leans back into his chair. He, of course, knows how to make the blow lethal but never wishes to do that practice. "The closest thing I have ever come to fighting. But I was wondering if I could use this tactic; for example, numb pain."

Scar is not sure if he likes this or not, on the one hand, he can see where his brother is going. Using alchemy to erase pain instead of drugging the person with sedatives, maybe even help someone recovering faster is incredibly useful. However, there is also a bad side to this idea and that if it's been used on soldiers. He wouldn't like to face a soldier who wouldn't be able to feel pain, continue on fighting even though his arm was snapped in half. It reminds him a bit too much of those man-eating dummies. But, he trusts his brother, and will personally make sure no one from the military will turn his research into a weapon. It was bad enough that he did it.

"I am very certain it's possible, for I think I unintentionally did it when they tore my automail arm off. It didn't hurt as much as I thought, and the loss of blood was what knocked me out; not the pain." Shade explains, not noticing the look in the other man's eyes; he's too busy skim the book for the facts he needs for this idea. "So maybe if I can recreate this tactic, I might not need three years to recover."

Ah, now he sees why his brother cannot sleep. Scar isn't surprised over his brother's dread going through the surgery again, he has heard it's an excruciating affair and one he did not wish happed to his soft-skinned brother.  
"Hang on." Shade interrupts Scar's thoughts, the one-armed man flips between the pages, reading a section intensely to smile widely. "I knew it! It is possible." and before Scar can stop him. Shade has found a piece of paper and a pen, writing down his discovery. Scar rolls his eyes, "brother, you need sleep."

"Just a little more time, I almost got it." Shade replies, he needs to write this down before he forgets the details.

He always says that, and it always more than just an hour. "Listen to me, we can postpone the automail surgery." Scar tries to reason his brother, he grabs Shade's arm "There's no need to—" and gets the biggest startle when Shade's left arm suddenly reacts, the alchemy reaction went through his right arm, spreading through his entire body. He falters of what incredible weird sense it left him in. His body feels numb as if sleeping. He drops onto the floor but feels nothing from the landing. He gasps of what has happened.

"Are you okay?" Shade asks worried, gets on his feet and helps the very disorientated man back up. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean this to happen. I was so caught up in the discovery I—"

"It's alright." Scare interrupts his brother's river of apologies, it's not like Shade is the only one who has been dealing with alchemic lash outs. He had a lot of those back when he learned how to control the right arm's alchemy. He has much gotten better not having the right arm reacts on his rage anymore, it leaves such a darn mess. The left on the other hand... well, Shade proved that if the user got an alchemic theory in mind and gets startled enough, then the left arm will react. "I shouldn't have startled you." These instinctive alchemy reactions can be useful from time to time, after all, without one of them; Bradley would probably have killed him.

"I should've been more careful." Shade scolds himself, placing Scar on a stool he asks worriedly. "How much damage did I do?"/p

Scar pinches his left arm, but although he can feel the touch, all he gets is a painless numbness no matter how much his pinches. This is weird and freaky. "I can't feel pain."

"You can't?" Shade blinks. Scar shakes his head and the older one grumbles on this issue. Doesn't matter it's a victory, he can cheer about that later: when his brother can feel properly again. "I'm inclined to wait an hour or so, see if it wears off on its own before I try to mess around with your body by alchemy." He suggests, after all, he did only disrupt the dragon pulse; not removing it.  
"I would prefer that very much." Scar agrees, he trusts his brother, it's the darn alchemy he doesn't trust. So they wait, a very awkward form of waiting. About an hour pass before Scar is starting to feel small senses of pain, but only when he pinches his skin with all his might. A half-hour later and he's starting to feel normal, still with the numbness, though. Shade is much relieved it disappeared on its own. "Oh, thank god... I thought I had really messed up."

Stroking his left arm, also glad this hasn't been permanent and yet he is impressed how quickly his brother made that theory work, he truly is a smart man. "Will you now go back to sleep?" Scar asks Shade in an annoyed tone, he got enough drama for one night.  
Shade chuckles weakly. "Yeah, and sorry about this whole thing..."  
Scar simply nods, quietly heading back to bed, never thought his brother's knowledge of alchemy would reach this far. But he should've expected it; he is, after all, bearing his brother's right arm as if it always has been his own. And that happened when his brother had little to none experience on how to actually perform alchemy. It's a bit scary to think that his brother might be way more powerful than he ever has been. Scar lifts his right arm, the arm he used to kill people. He did it with only basic knowledge how to use it, so what can a scholar in alchemy do with it? At least Shade won't use it to kill people: he's too much of a pacifist for that and Scar is much relieved about that fact. He would be terrified if his brother ever got taken by the beast of vengeance and turned his alchemy into a weapon.

One good thing came out from what happened last night, and that's Shade has discovered a way where he wouldn't suffer as much against the surgery, and still. "I can't make my body completely immune against pain, there is a reason why the automail engineers don't knock the patient out." Shade explains Scar over breakfast.  
Scar is not really sure how to react, other than disbelief from what his brother has gone through. "Are you telling me that you went through surgery with little to no sedatives?" His brother nods. Dear god, no wonder why he was so set on figuring this pain-numbing trick out. "How did you handle it?"

"I didn't," Shade replies hard as he grabs himself another piece of bread, happy the kids are outside playing during this conversation. "All I could do was scream myself hoarse, trashing as much the binding allowed me until I passed out from the pain. It happened more than once during the surgery and when they were finally done, it took me three years before I even could manage to move my new arm. And what was even with Li's healing."

Scar's body tense hearing how much his brother had suffered, regret that he is partly at fault of this. His brother shouldn't have been suffering like this. If he had just kept his arm instead of giving it to him...! But that was a choice his brother made on his own account... and now he's paying for it.

"Anyway, even with all excruciation pain and rehabilitation. I'm still glad I went through it, and it wasn't so bad as Li stayed by my side throughout the whole ordeal." Shade continues, he can see the regret in his brother's eyes, as if he thinks he is at fault at this. Why? He does not know and gets the feeling that his brother really doesn't want to talk about it. It's frustrating that he does not know what is causing his brother this pain, he wants to help but it's hard when the man refuses to let him. Maybe he will take his extended hand when he's ready, Shade can only hope.  
Scar meets his eyes, realizes the hint from him, but all that does is making the man look more in pain. Why won't he tell him what is bothering him? Shade thinks with the sense of helplessness. He sighs and calls for the kids to wash the desert sand off before they leave. "Whatever regret you're feeling about me; don't. Nothing that I went through was your fault." He tells his brother softly and leaves the table, he needs to pack his research notes before they leave.

Perhaps it wasn't his fault, but Scar still feels terrible that he is the reason to why his brother has to go through this again.

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About an hour later, the small Ishvalen family is traveling to Rush Valley by train. There were a few complications with Scar leaving Ishval since he is still considered by many a wanted murder. That is why Miles and Lieutenant Hawkeye are going with them.

This is the first time Riza has seen the person the Major spoke about being Scar's older brother; a brilliant alchemist and creator of the alchemy Scar has been using. Easy to say that her ranking officer got quite intrigued and Lieutenant Hawkeye agreed to escort them to Rush Valley for the automail surgery in a way to get to know this first alchemist of Ishval better.

"I hear you are an alchemist, a rarity around Ishval." She points out, so far the only alchemist of Ishval they have known of is Scar, but that man hasn't been doing any sort of alchemy since the Promise Day. "So I hear." Shade replies in a casual manner, unlike Scar who looks so angry all the time, his older brother Shade is a lighthearted man. "The Ishvalen belief doesn't condone alchemy, so out of respect for that, I will not perform alchemy unless highly necessarily."

Scar feels a warm squeeze around his chest hearing this, he's glad his brother's old respect for Ishvala hasn't entirely disappeared.

"What are you doing in Ishval Miss. Hawkeye?" Shade then asks the Lieutenant. "I know you're helping us rebuild Ishval, but how exactly?"

"We're aiding your people setting up plantations and turn Ishval into a central trading route between Amestris and Xing," Hawkeye explains the man.

"Hm, yes, Miles did mention this and some of the wares I saw in the market could be traded with the Xingese people." Shade muses, and since he has been living in Xing, he somewhat knows what the Xing people want. "I don't know much about food, but I do know about silk. My wife often took me out to the local silk farm. The Xingese people really love that type of clothing and I'm sure our country would as well." Shade starts explaining the Lieutenant and Major how to produce this form of fabric by the help of a special caterpillar called the silkworm and how he has observed they extract this fine fabric out from the cocoon of this insect. "All they would require is mulberry leaves, and if you figure out how to properly grow this tree, the Ishvalen people will also be able to trade the berries: they are edible for humans."

"I love mulberry!" Selena declares cheerfully to the adults. "It's like candy, just healthier!"  
Well, isn't this a pleasured surprise of an opportunity. "I'll be sure look into this when I return back to base." Riza says, sure Mustang would like to look into this possible new trading object and can be useful for the people in Ishval and rest of Amestris.

Miles is also quite impressive about what this older brother of Scar knows, makes him wonder what else is inside that head of his. He is sure General Armstrong would love meeting this guy, and hopefully, Shade won't get too intimidated by her which could make Scar protective and get into a fight with the General.

The ride to Rush Valley goes smoothly, Selena did cause a bit of trouble when she got too excited about that friend she made on the train, so Shade had to rein her in. Both Miles and Riza found it incredibly amusing when the youngest of the two Ishvalen girls crawl up on Scar's lap and plays pretend with the man, no idea how much she is ruining his image of being an intimidating man.

Doesn't do any better when he obliges on Harika's demand getting carried on his shoulders when they leave the train.

"Any special automail engineer you have in mind?" Miles asks the scarred Ishvalen, having a big amused smile from the adorable scene of a small girl getting a ride on Scar's shoulders.

Trying his best to the man's amusement at his predicament, Scar admits he had one in mind, as he has seen her work in action, however... "I do not think she will do my family or me any favors." and he doesn't blame her one bit for it.

Riza knows exactly who the man is talking about. "That's a weird choice." All things considered what this man did to her parent.

"I'm aware, but I have seen Miss Rockbell's work personally and I know it would fit my brother's needs." Scar explains the Lieutenant. Shade casts him a glance, having a hint of confusions in them before turning back to scanning the area. "Where's Selena?" He asks, noticing that the teenager is nowhere around them. Scar and the two soldiers look around for the pale-skinned Ishvalen.

Lieutenant Hawkeye spots the girl. "Over there." Pointing at the exit of the train station, the girl is running out with no idea she is leaving the others behind. Shade calls for her, but the girl is too far off to hear him. The father of Selena face-palm. "Dear lord, I can't take my eyes away from her for a second... " About to go in pursuit but gets stopped by Scar. "I'll get her." He puts the disappointed Harika down, and turns to the two soldiers; "Keep them safe." and he runs off.

"Safe from what?" Shade asks slightly worried. "How dangerous is this place anyway?" He asks the two soldiers.

"There is nothing to worry about," Miles assures him, explaining that Scar probably only said it because he cares deeply for their safety. "Accidents do happen after all."

"What about we head over and talk with the automail engineer Scar mentioned?" Riza suggests and offers Harika her hand, to her surprise the small girl refuses it; instead takes her father's. She does quickly brushes it off and guides Shade towards that particular shop.

Meanwhile, Scar is impressed by how swift Selena can move. And with that fire in her heart, Scar is confident she will grow into a strong and powerful woman. Just like a particular Wall of Briggs he knows, except Selena will have fire in her instead of ice. He wonders how Selena will react to General Armstrong and also fears when that day will come. Not sure Armstrong would appreciate an overconfident kid talking back to her as he knows Selena will do that when they meet. He finds Selena, the girl is chattering with a young black woman, seemly excited about something. And before he can get over to them, both run off. He follows and can almost hit his head against the nearby wall when this young black woman jumps easily up to one of the roof's, making the giggling Selena follow.

He must admit that if the girl got a bit of training, she could become a good Ishvalen monk. "Selena!" He calls after have gotten onto the roof like the two female. The two stops, the young black woman looks quite surprised, Selena simply gives him a cheerful wave. "Uncle! I made a new friend!"  
The monk training would also help with her focus as well... too bad only boys are allowed to pursue that carrier. "You shouldn't run off like that." He lectures her.

Selena's smile drops and she kicks a loose tile plate in embarrassment. "I'm sorry..." She just got so excited about this new place. Giving the woman a small wave, "nice meeting you." and trots over to her uncle.  
"You two squirt." The young woman calls cheerfully and with an almost unnatural grace runs off. Scar watches that one leaves, getting the feeling her legs might not be organic anymore. No surprise, this whole place is filled with people having artificial limbs. "Let's go." He tells Selena and with a nod from her, they jump down the roof and heads over to the shop Scar is sure the others are by now.

"It's busy in here." Shade remarks at the many people crowding this shop with the name of Atelier Garfield. Looking down, he notices how uncomfortable Harika is and asks Miles taking her up. The Major does and the girl calms a bit further down. Still, she clings to the soldier's clothing like a lifeline. "You really don't like crowds; do you little one?" Miles asks her softly. She shakes her head that she doesn't, less so when she has no idea which one of them wants to hurt her.

Riza walks through the crowd, calling when she spots a blond Amestrian young woman, at the moment repairing an elderly man's arm. "Winry!"

"Oh hey, Riza." Winry Rockbell greets her in a happy surprise. "I wasn't aware you were coming on a visit."

"Sorry about that, I'll sure call the next time." Lieutenant Hawkeye replies with a faint smile on her lips, it does disappear slightly when explaining the automail engineer. "I'm here on official business."

Finishing the repairs and letting the man walk over to the owner of the shop to pay, Winry turns her full attention to the Lieutenant. "What kind of business?"

Motions Shade to step forward, he does and Riza explains. "I'm escorting this man and his family. As you can see; he needs an engineer's service."

Winry nods in understanding, and scanning this Ishvalen up and down, yes she can see the resembles. Alphonse did tell her about this man and him being the older brother of Scar, yet he has no idea about anything what Scar has done. "Shade, right? Al spoke about you." She says, unsure how to be around the older brother of her parents' murder. But looking into those red eyes, she realizes Shade has too gentle of a look in them to be anything like Scar. Also, she notices this Ishvalen man has that gleam in his eyes like Ed and Al. Ah yes, Al did mention that Shade is actually an alchemist himself, that explains the gleam.

Shade offers her his left hand and she shakes it. "Nice meeting you, miss."  
"Rockbell."

Shade blinks, for some odd reason that name rings a bell. "That name sounds familiar..." The two soldiers and Winry blink, noticing this Shade waves his hand flustered to them. "Sorry, I don't know where that came from..! My memories are all scrambled up."

Okay, Shade here is very different from his brother, this man has a sort of charm Scar does not have. She is beginning to like Shade already. "My parents were doctors in the war of Ishval." She explains this way more likable Ishvalen.  
Shade turns back to her, giving her a quite surprised look. "Really?"  
She nods. "Yes, they saved your brother's life." Telling him about what Scar did to them did cross her mind, but just couldn't bring herself to shatter that thankful look in the man's red eyes and less so when he says:

"Then, I am eternally grateful for their aid. Is there a way I can personally thank them?"

"No... they are dead..."

"Oh." Shade's expression drops instantly, he shifts on his feet once before speaking again. "I may not remember anything about the war, but from how the people in Ishval carry this sort of pain in their eyes and many bear scars on their bodies- myself included. I can conclude that your parents were very brave risking their lives by helping others; an act of courage you can be very proud of."

Winry can feel the tears pressing against her eyes from Shade's sincere words but refuses to let them fall. With the tears in check, she gives Shade a small smile. "Thank you, I really predicate hearing this."  
Shade nods in return, to smile weakly when Winry asks him with excitement he recognizes from himself when he stumbles upon a new mystery he can solve.

"Now, shall we take a look at that arm of yours?" Gesturing to the table in the back of the shop. The man follows her inside where he takes a seat and pull off the poncho that hid his missing limp. Winry notices right away that this man already has been wearing automail, but something or someone has torn it off. "What happened to your former arm?" She asks him.  
"Some people tore it off when I refused to answer them certain questions." Shade replies quietly. Winry winches hearing that, and also feels angry someone can be so cruel tearing off an automail arm. "That's barbaric..."

"Indeed." Shade agrees and has to asks since he has been afraid the damaged the Wang clan did to him is too significant for him to get a new arm. "Will I still be able to get a new one attached?"

After a close inspection of the badly scarred arm, Winry can say this. "Don't you worry, I can attach one; no problem."  
"Oh thank god." Shade breathes out an air of relief. Winry smiles and with a notebook in hand, she starts designing an arm suiting for this man, asking him what he would be mostly using it for. "No weapons." He tells her right away. "I won't be doing any combat. But if you could do..." He explains how he would like a smooth surface, one with as few plating as possible and also would like metal resistance to heat since he is living in a desert after all.  
Winry thinks about these two requests and is confident she can come up with something good for this man. "I have to give your arm some moveable plating, without them you won't get the same mobility as a normal arm." He nods that is fine by him and with these requirement written down, she asks; "How fast do you need this arm? I can build it in three days if its a rush order, but that will cost you extra."

"Oh, just take the time you need." Shade tells her, giving this woman a small smile. "I'm in no hurry." He still needs to perfect his latest alchemy discovery.

Winry nods, blinking in surprise when a teenage girl suddenly comes running into the shop like a speeding bullet "Daddy! You're not gotta believe what this place has!" She calls and jumps around the room like an excited puppy while telling the man about all the people wearing automail. Winry stares of what this clearly not Ishvalen looking girl called the man. "Adopted?"

The man nods, before turning his red eyes back to the speaking like a waterfall girl. "Still Ishvalen though." and explains Winry briefly. "She has a condition that removes the color pigmentation in her skin and eyes."

Makes little to no sense for her, wasn't even aware people could lose the color in their skin other than when they don't get exposed to the sun. "She's a cute one." Winry says instead. The man nods and calls for the chipper girl's attention. "Selena, this is Winry Rockbell. She will give me a new metal arm."

"Cool!" Selena cries joyful but drops when memories of what happened the last time her daddy went through this. "Oh wait, you gotta be sick and in pain again for a really long time, won't you?"  
"It is necessary." He tells her softly. Selena turns her bright green eyes to Winry, asking hopefully. "Can't you make it hurt him less? Last time daddy was in pain for so long..."

Winry feels so bad, but she cannot change the fact that it is necessary that the patient must not get too much sedative during the surgery where the nerves gets attached to the artificial limp. "I'm sorry..."  
Selena lowers her head to then shoot her a glare and runs out, ignoring her father's calling for her. Winry's eyes follow this understandable angry girl and gasps seeing a face she really didn't want to see; Scar. Why did he also have to be here?

Shade follows Miss Rockbell eyes and spots his brother, he smiles and about to call him over, but then notices the regretful look in his brother's eyes, turning back to the engineer, he notices that she does not look happy to see him. Okay, only an idiot won't realize that there is animosity between the two. For what reason he does not know; figures he will ask his brother later. "How long do you think it will take you?" He asks Miss Rockbell friendly, pretending he hasn't taken notice of the air of hostility around the two.

"Hm? Oh-" Winry snaps back to her customer, ignoring her parents killer for the moment. "Let me see... give me eleven days and you have your arm."  
"Then I will be back in eleven days." Shade says and with thanks, he leaves the shop. Scar sends Winry a single glance which she returns before they both go their separate way.  
Out on the streets of Rush Valley, Shade pulls his brother gently back, letting the two soldiers and kids walk further forward. When sure they are out of hearing range, he voices the observant he did between Winry and Scar. "What did you do to earn her disdain?"

Scar doesn't answer, he had really hoped his brother hasn't taken notice about this looming regret he feels every time he sees this young woman nor that she still doesn't really like having the reminder of who killed her parents around.  
Shade can see this causes his brother great pain and regret, he dreads what is causing those feelings, but he much rather wants to know that being left in the dark. And he wants to understand this by his brother and not by someone else's mouth. "Brother, what is it for a pain you are carrying in your heart?"

Scar turns away, afraid how his brother will react, more so when Shade barely knows who he is. "... If your memories ever return... I will tell you." He promises. Scar knows it's very childish and even selfish of him, but if he has to tell this to his brother; he much rather do it when the man at least partly knows what started it.

Shade frowns deeply at his brother's words, feeling like he's getting a bit screwed over. "You are aware that it might never happen." Scar does not answer him. Shade watches the younger man for a while and sighs in defeat. "Alright... but you better keep that promise." He tells his brother firmly.

Scar meets his eyes, has to remind himself that his brother has forgotten that Ishvalens honor their words. "I swear by the blood we share in our veins."

Those words did catch Shade a bit off guard, probably because he's used to hearing Xingese people makes a solemn promise through their clan or honor of a warrior. But he will accept this solemn promise and the bond they share as a family.

* * *

 **Many of you have probably been waiting for the meeting between Scar and Winry. I have read several fanfictions where Winry forgive Scar, but that is never going to happen in this fanfiction. I don't think something like that ever should be forgiving, but there are other ways to get over such horrible things and that is by learning from their mistakes and do better in the future.**

 **but that's just how I see it.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.** **  
**


	9. The surgery

**man, it's been forever I last updated this story. bit of a pity though.  
but here's another chapter and I hope you will enjoy it.**

* * *

The eleven days go quite slow for Shade, the few books he brought has been read and the research of the pain-numbing alchemy is safely hidden in the coded history book. So now he just waits for the last day to pass so he can get his new arm from Miss Rockbell. Stretching out, Shade looks outside the window; a smile appears on his lips watching his brother teaching his two girls- probably in the belief of Ishval. Selena and Harika do look very interested in the subject though, so that's good. Closing the book he has been reading for the second time in these days. "Might as well make myself social." He muses and leaves the room. He encounters Major Miles outside, watching his brother and kids interacting with one another. The soldier turns his head slightly when he notices movements at the door and gives Shade a polite nod as greeting. "Shade."  
Shade returns the nod, asking. "Has Lieutenant Hawkeye gone back to Ishval?"

"Not quite, she has returned to Eastern Command." Miles replies to the older brother of Scar. She and Miles agreed that Scar wouldn't be any threats to the people in Rush Valley nor anyone would try an arrest the man since Riza has already told the local police and military that Scar is not a threat and under the watch of a military officer. So with no reason for staying, she left to see if Shade's suggestion of silk cultivation would work.  
Miles turns his hidden red eyes to Shade, curious what the man has been working on these past days. "I presume you have finished whatever research you were doing."

"Yes, and hopefully it will help me with the upcoming surgery." Shade replies, he is still incredible worried it won't work and dreads the agony the surgery will cause him. But it's something there has to be done. Looking past that and get suspicious when Miles asks the purpose of this new research; Shade is hesitant to explain. Miles is a good man, but he is still a soldier. Like the chief's bodyguards; it is his duty to report anything useful back to the chief. And it hasn't been the first time someone has been trying to steal his research. So instead of telling about the research, he says. "You know, I have done a lot of people watching lately. And one of the things I have been noticing that the military has a lot of hierarchy. You, for example, reports quite often to who I presume is your chief. You have a good reason doing that of course, the higher-ups need to know what is going on at the bottom."

Miles sees where this is going, Shade might be a lighthearted person, but like any alchemists: he is not an idiot. "So in order words: you won't tell me about your research." The look in Shade's eyes answers enough. Miles can't help but chuckle at this. "I can now see that all alchemists are reluctant to share their research."  
"Can you really blame us?" Shade asks back, his tone quite serious. "If our research gets in the wrong hands, a lot of people can get hurt."  
Yes, Miles has seen that in first hand. Scar has been using Shade's research in the form of the array on the arms to cause a lot of death and destructions. However, as of yet, Shade does still not know about what Scar has done. "You got a point, but alchemist research can also help a lot of people too."

"And I will share mine: when the situation calls for it." Shade tells him firmly, turning his attention to his family sharing a moment of bliss. He wants to share his alchemy, his knowledge to people, but not to those who want to weaponize it. Selena is still dealing with nightmares about what destruction the alchemists did in Ishval, and Shade does not wish to turn his alchemy into something there will give innocent children nightmares for life.

Miles drops the subject, quietly wondering if Shade here can stand his ground like this around General Armstrong.

With this small discussion over, Shade joins his brother, listen to the man explain the two girls about the teaching of Ishvala.

Scar is a bit surprised seeing his brother has joined them, but it's a pleasured one. He gives the few years older man a nod before returning back to the small lecture of their people's culture. It's been very long since he last felt this form of peace and he is very grateful for it ease up the hardness the war and constant fighting has formed around his heart.

Shade listens very carefully at first, but slowly his mind flashes to another scene.

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 _A younger him, long before he fully had formed his interest in alchemy, watched his brother's master, old and wise teaches not only his younger brother but several others on how to become honorable Ishvalen warriors. When he wasn't too busy with his studies, he would go to this certain spot and watch his hot-tempered but kind in spirit brother train to become a monk of Ishval. He smiled knowing his younger brother's strength would help to protect the people of Ishval.  
When the training was over, his brother would join him, always having that pleasured surprise over his not yet scarred face. Without much words, they would go back home together._

 _"I didn't think you would have time coming today." His brother remarked, adding with a slight frown. "You have been quite busy lately."  
He chuckled, ruffling up his brother's hair, much to the trained monk's annoyance. "I admit the exams are quite demanding, but I still have time to give my baby brother some attention."  
His brother slaps away his hand, scowling. "Brother, I'm not a kid anymore."  
"I know." he replied, his brother has been an adult for about a year by now, but still. "In my eyes, you are still my baby brother."_

 _His brother huff annoyed, causing him to laugh and take hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright, what about I leave the baby and instead simply call you little brother. How does that sound?"  
"Better." His brother replied in a happier tone. They walk in silence for a while, broken when his younger brother asked a bit worried. "Do you think the rumors are true? That Amestris are planning on making Ishval part of their country?"_

 _"I honestly don't know little brother." He admitted softly, although had a strong feeling it might happen. "All we can do is wait and see what the future holds for us."_

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Shade winches from suddenly gotten dragged into this very strong flashback, his head hurts as if he got kicked by a horse.  
"Brother?"  
He looks up, noticing that his brother is looking at him with a worried expression on his scarred face. "What's wrong?"  
"I... I remember something." Shade replied, caressing his throbbing head from the sudden trip down memory lane.

Scar's eyes widened slightly, his brother remembers? "What do you remember?"

"Well... apparently I used to watch you train when my exam didn't keep me hauled up back home." Shade muses as he gently waves his own and Harika's hand back and forward. "I wasn't aware Ishval's trained their monks in combat."

Scar remembers that; it was always nice to see his brother waiting for him when he was done training. "It's a sign that the strength in our bodies is as strong as our belief in god." He explains his brother, asking quite curious. "What else do you remember?"  
Shade skims through these new memories, nothing much of importance, Well in the worldly point of view, while for him: it is very important. He gives his brother a smile. "That's it, but it's a memory I will treasure."  
Scar blinks once before he returns the smile.

The day before he would get his new arm attached, Shade drags his brother into his room, handing him a none coded vision of the pain-numbing alchemy he has been working on. "In case I cannot perform it during the surgery." He explains his brother simply.  
Scar eyes the detailed notes on how to perform this alchemy, admittedly reluctant to read it. For him, alchemy is still heresy and not something there should be practiced, in his youth, he would have gotten extremely angry and making a huge argument with his brother for trying to drag him into this heretic. But now; older and wiser on the matter. Plus having a great feeling of not taking his brother being back in his life for granted. Scar takes the note, promising his brother he will read up on it and perform this alchemy trick. "but only if you cannot perform it yourself." He tells his brother hard.

Shade nods in understanding, not sure why, but he feels very relieved that his brother didn't make such a big fuss about it. Like he had been expecting an argument or something.

After dinner, Scar sits down on his bed, reading the notes his brother gave him. Only looking up when someone knocks on the door and a moment later Miles walks inside. The soldier notices the notes and how the diagrams look awfully like alchemy. "I thought you didn't want to study alchemy Ishvalen." He remarks astounded, Scar has always scorned over alchemy so watching him actually do the study on it is quite the change.  
"I don't, but this isn't for my own sake." Scar replies, returning his eyes back to the notes, quite amazed how his brother made this easy to understand. Even a novice would understand this. Which is why he will destroy this note when he knows how to do this form of alchemy, his brother will share this knowledge to others when the time is right.

Miles thought this change has something to do with Shade. "You really cares about him." He points out, earning a look from the scarred Ishvalen. Miles is starting to see an ironic connection between these two Ishvalen brothers and another pair of brothers he knows. "You know, watching you interacting with your brother, I can't help but notices similarities between you two and the Elric brothers."  
Scar snorts at this, not seeing any similarities other than they each have a brother.  
"You each would do anything for the other's safety correct?" Miles points out, resting up against the door to the room, watching the once killer of State Alchemists.

"It hasn't always been like this." Scar muses in a low tone, he stares at the alchemy notes but isn't reading the words; he's too caught up in the memories of him and his brother arguing over their huge difference in personality and point of views. "Before I became Scar, back when I still deserved my name. My brother and I fought a lot about the Ametrians. He wanted to understand Amestris's culture, help our people integrate into the country. That's how he became fascinated in alchemy. I didn't approve on the path he was going." Eyeing the soldier— his red-eyed brother. "I couldn't understand why he sided with the Amestrians over our people. He explained to me that we needed to adepts or we wouldn't be left behind. I didn't understand what he meant, too enraged that he dared to study something our people considered heresy."

"If you fought with him all the time; hated the fact he studied alchemy. Then why did you speak so highly about him when you thought him dead?" Miles asks the scarred man.

Scar leans forward, resting his arms on his lap. "Only when I lost my brother, lived without him. I realized how much I had taken my brother for granted. It was partly his death that made me turn to the path of vengeance." He fists his right arm, his brother's arm. "It was my memories about him that made me realize that my vengeance has only been causing more damage than good." It started when the Elric brothers confronted him about the Rockbells, how Edward had the same face when he protected the daughter of the two doctors. But Miles also helped him get away from the path of vengeance with his words of wanting to change the country, for that he is thankful. "Having brother back into my life again; I will swallow my own pride for his sake, even if it means study alchemy."

Miles watches the man for a moment, thinking back to back when they first met. Scar had been a man trapped in his own vengeance, filled with bitterness and despair. Even when he returned back to Ishval and helped the people rebuilding, the bitterness refused to fade- until now. For the first time, Miles is starting to see the man behind the killer, a man with so much regret in those red eyes, but he also sees something else in them: hope. "You have changed a lot from the first time I laid eyes on you." He remarks, catching Scar a bit off guard.

Scar stares at Miles for a moment then turns his attention back to the notes. "I have died many times, all the time coming back as a new person."

"Will one of them have a name?"

Scar hesitates on that question, he has been sort of content living without a name. Thought it suited a man like him, but... now he is daring to hope that maybe, one day. He can reclaim him name again. How or when he does not know, but he can wait. "That I do not know." He replies to the soldier, grabs the notes and tore it into tiny pieces. He has the knowledge he needs and one he will treat with great respect. It's bad enough he tainted his brother's arm of deconstruction, he does not want to tarnish his alchemy further.  
Scar puts his left on his right, letting a small alchemic reaction go through the arm. Must admit that he does feel a pang of pride when the pain-numbing alchemy works.

"What did he teach you?" Miles asks curiously of what Scar did to himself. The scarred man flexes his right hand, unbeknown to the soldier; he cannot feel a darn thing in it. "Something there will spare him years of pain."  
Miles blinks, but the monk of Ishval refuses to explain further, so Miles has to settle with that vague explanation.  
"Miles, can you look after Selena and Harika?" Scar asks him, eyeing his red-eyed brother. "I need to be by my brother's side."  
"Of course," Miles nods in understanding, asking with a slight frown. "but are you certain miss Rockbell will accept having you that close?"

Oh right... forgot about her. Has been so busy around his family that he actually forgot about what terrible deeds he did against her family. He will not apologie, it's just an excuse unworthy for her.

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Scar knows this will not be fun for his brother, but he had been hoping the pain-numbing alchemy would take the worst of it. He is sure it does, but that still does not changes the fact that this is agony and all this Ishvalen can do is sit and listen to his brother cries of pain. For a warrior like him, a man who can easily kill ten Amastrian soldiers, defeat powerful State Alchemists, stand against a monster to a homunculus... and yet he can do little to nothing when it comes to helping his own brother. He feels so helpless, feeling like a kid again; can do nothing but wait and pray to Ishvala for his brother's well being.  
Scar is unsure how long he has been listing to his brother cries of pain and the sound of machines getting attached to bones and flesh. Only that when it stops, he cannot stop himself go into a fit of panic. About to barge into the surgery room but stops when Winry and that other man leave the room. "How is he?" He asks them- well mostly Winry since she's the only one he knows of the two. Right now he does not care he is pretty much losing it, it doesn't matter how he looks to the public if his brother is near death.

Winry eyes Scar and is quite taken by surprise seeing the murder of her parents actual show some humanity in the form of an incredibly worried brother. It catches her the more off guard that Scar at this moment reminds her of Edward when he's worried sick about his brother's well being. She quickly brushes it aside, though, telling Scar as she removes her uniform. "He's resting at the moment, so I suggest you don't visit him in an hour or so."  
Scar calms immensely down hearing this, glancing at the door. "Is the arm attached?"  
"No, we only attached the plantings holding the arm around his shoulder." She tells him, not sure why but adds: "That was the worst part, the rest won't cause him so much pain or take this long." Eyeing the murder of her parents, she remarks to him rather harshly. "Hopefully he won't kill me like you did my parents."  
Scar looks away, but he cannot hide the great regret he feels. Winry sees it and maybe feels a bit smug getting such a reaction out from him, glad that he feels bad for what he has done.

Scar lets out a small sigh, turning back to the young woman. "Do not put any of my mistakes onto him. He does not deserve your anger." Glancing to the room where his brother is resting, he continues. "You once asked me why I did it, and if you still wish that answer: I will tell you, but-" he lets their eyes meet, her eyes are filled with surprise and suspicious, yet all he sees; is the blue eyes there made him snap that day.  
"-it will not be what you were hoping for."  
Winry takes a seat on the nearby table and only then tells the scarred man hard. "Tell me exactly what happened."  
Scar nods and tells her what happed that faithful day.

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Before he was Scar, he was a monk meant to protect his people. Like many others, he was enraged but also horrified by what the military was doing to their people. He had seen so many dead people, men, women, children, didn't matter for the military. If they had the brown skin and red eyes: they were dead. But there was one small hope for the monk and that had been seeing his family still alive. His mother and father, along with some other family members were ready to leave the city. His brother too, but before heading out, his older brother gave him those crucial notes on how to stop the worldwide transmutation circle. Told him there was a higher chance for the younger brother's survival since he was a trained warrior and the older brother was already shaking like a leaf by what was going on around them.

The monk had assured him that he would be alright, but he had spoken those words too soon. For that very moment, a State Alchemist has arrived. His older brother recognized the man as one with the markings on his palms. That State Alchemist had been Solf J. Kimblee and he used his destructive alchemy- amplified by the Philosopher stone to eliminate the whole sector. During the attack, the older brother had thrown himself between the alchemist and the monk. When the attack finally ended, the two brothers were the only ones alive. Everyone else had been brutally killed. The younger brother would've died too, the blast had not only left him with several wounds and a torn face but blasted off his arm; causing him to rapidly bleeding out. The older brother found him like that, desperately tried to stop the bleeding, but hadn't learned how to do any medical alchemy. So in a snap decision and raw will to keep his brother alive, the older one tore off his own right arm and attached it to the badly wounded monk with what little alchemy he knew. Watching his brother perform alchemy on him had been the last thing the younger brother saw his older brother for a very long time.

When the younger brother returned back to conscious, he was in a medical clinic, greatly disorientated and in so much agony from his injuries. When the Rockbell doctors came over to him, he barely heard their words; all he saw was the blue eyes of the Amestrian soldiers there have been slaughtering his people. He did calm down for a moment when he saw his brother's tattooed arm, but completely snapped into a fit of terror and sorrow when he realized that the arm now belonged to him. It quickly turned into an animalistic rage, and he turned all this rage on the two blue-eyed people and he killed them. He fled the clinic, went back home, but... even his home the Amestrians have stolen from him, leaving him with nothing but the rage there soon would fuel his entire life on a path of vengeance.

Winry listens to the whole story deadly quiet, it frightens her how much horror Scar saw in that war, saw his own family get blown up by Kimblee, a man she had for a small while considered a nice guy. Oh, how she takes those thoughts back now. Her eyes land on Scar's right arm, the arm his older brother- Shade gave him. She can't imagine waking up with someone else's arm attached to her, so she can sort of understand why he freaked out. That, plus all the horrors he saw before getting taken in by her parents, he had been a ticking time bomb ready to go off and her parents have unfortunately been the ones setting it off.  
"Now you know." Scar voice snaps her out her thoughts. Winry nods slowly. "Yeah..." Now she knows why he did it. It doesn't change the fact he is the one who killed them, but at least now she can understand why he did it. She can never forgive him but... "I accept your apology."

Scar eyes wide slightly hearing those words, didn't actually expect any sort of forgiveness from this girl.

Winry dries away the few tears there escaped her eyes. "I cannot forgive you, but I can accept that you are sorry for what you have done and... well, I can deal with having the younger brother of a customer around." She says with a weak smile to the scarred man. But she has to ask him. "Does he know about this?"  
"No." Scar replies.  
Winry frowns lightly, trying but having great trouble reading this stone-faced man, so she has to ask. "Why not? Don't you think he deserves to know what happened to his right arm?"  
Scar puts his left on the right one, clenching the tattooed skin slightly.  
"I can't tell him." Is all he says.  
Winry titles her head, not sure what he means by that. Is Scar afraid of his brother's reaction? Or is there more to it? She has no idea and honestly doesn't think it's her business.

Winry lets Scar pays his brother a visit before he has to leave for the night. Scar watches his brother sleep, but far from a peacefully one, too much in pain for that. He gently puts his left arm on the right shoulder, now having a big steel plating covering the skin and the stump. The arm is still not there, though. He performs the alchemy and to his relief, his brother's ragged breathing eases and about five minutes later, his brother's eyes open. Shade stares at him for a long time, eyes squinted in an attempt to focus. Scar gently puts his glasses on and his older brother smiles now that he can see who is standing before him. "Hey... did you do the pain-numbing alchemy on me?"  
Scar nods, for once glad he was taught for such a thing. It will at least give his brother some hours of proper rest.

"It was a painful affair." Shade remarks softly from his spot.

"Didn't you perform the alchemy before going through this?" Scar asks him.

Shade eyes him slightly offended. "Of course I did, but it faded out about halfway."

Scar is shocked how much pain someone with automail has to go through. "How can people go through this?"

"That or live without the second limp." Shade replies simply.  
There is silence between them for a moment, broken when Shade muses his thoughts out loud. "I had a terrifying dream... a man with cold eyes, black hair and transmutation circles on his palms."

Scar's eyes wide hearing a well-known person, one he hopes he never will meet again.  
"He was laughing when he used his alchemy to kill people I couldn't see the faces of, only one I recognized: you." Shade eyes his brother, too exhausted to really get a proper read on him. "He tore you to shreds and there was nothing I could do... I wasn't strong enough."  
Sounds very much like the dreams he at times have about Kimblee, except the one getting torn apart is his brother.  
"I don't want to lose you..." Shade muses groggy, the exhausting getting to him. "I won't let you die... not before I do... I won't let you, Tanvir..."  
Scar can't stop himself from jumping hearing what his brother has just said, snapping his wide eyes of pure shock to his brother. He realizes that his brother has fallen asleep. Probably utterly unaware of what he had just said. Scar is not sure what to feel about this, those last words sounded very much like the last words his brother spoke right before he gave him his right arm. Scar gently places his right hand on his brother's left shoulder, pondering if those last words have been god trying to tell him that he is allowed to reclaim his name again? He isn't really sure.  
Scar removes the glasses from his brother's face, musing to him softly.  
"I know you won't..." He wants to say his brother's name so much, but he feels unworthy uttering it. So he puts the glasses back onto the table and leaves, pondering if he even deserves this happiness his brother and two daughters so dearly wants to give him.

After have assured Selena and Harika that he will look after their father and they feel comfortable enough spending the day with Miles, Scar returns back to Atelier Garfiel and starts the very painful waiting while Miss Rockbell finishes her work. At this time his brother doesn't sound to be too much in pain, so that's good. As he waits, many people visit the shop with several of them taking notice of the Ishvalen, some even recognize him as Scar but after he made it clear that he is no longer killing people and is getting punished for his deeds, most of them leave him alone. Not all though, some are quite curious about him, but those he completely ignores.  
He is quite relieved when Winry says it's okay to see his brother, walking into the room Scar's eyes land right away on his brother's new artificial arm. It does look a bit like the Fullmetal's, yet simpler in design and currently cradled in a bandage for support. Shade is awake, and he smiles when Scar steps into the room.

Both men turn to Winry when she explains Shade that he shouldn't try and move the arm too much for the first six months. "Your body needs to recover from the surgery, after that; you should slowly rehabilitate it but don't overdo it or you might cause an unwanted strain."  
"Don't worry miss Rockbell, I have already gone through the rehabilitation before so I know I shouldn't overwork it before it has properly healed." Shade tells her in a friendly matter of fact. Winry blushes slightly forgot for a moment that Shade has gone through this before. "Oh right, sorry." So instead explains Shade what kind of metal she has been using to build this arm.

Most of what she said went straight over Scar's head but his brother seems to understand. What Scar did understand of what Winry told them that she did base Shade's new arm after the cold weather automail, but did use metal alloys there wouldn't conduct heat like the cold weather automail. "So you have to be extra careful when you're out in colder weather or you will end up with frostbite." Winry explains him, adding that extreme cold can cause the alloys to become brittle and shatter. Shade nods he understands and will keep that in mind if he happens to be outside at night. Scar, on the other hand, notes himself not to bring his brother anywhere near the north, not until he has regained enough strength to change his automail into the cold weather automail.  
With the operation over and being one with the money, Scar pays Winry for the automail and the bed Shade has been using during recovery.

The two Ishvalen brothers leave the shop, with Shade going straight to bed for some much-needed rest and recovery from the surgery. Scar takes a seat beside the bed, watching his brother quietly. He only leaves the room when his brother is fast asleep and Miles has returned with the kids.  
"Can we see daddy?" Selena asks after he has told them that Shade is back from the surgery, but Scar doesn't think his brother can handle that at the moment. "He needs his rest, wait till he wakes again." He tells them. The two girls are quite disappointed but at least understand why, so they don't make any complaints about it. Instead, they tell their uncle how their day has been, which has been a bit boring. "It was interesting in the start, but watching metal limbs all the time is getting boring." Selena points out, Harika nods in agreement and asks the two adults. "When will we go back home?" Scar feels a pang of happiness of hearing the two girls consider Ishval their home now.

"When your daddy has recovered enough for the travel." Miles replies and asks Scar in a quieter tone so the kids wouldn't hear. "How long time do you think he will need?"

That Scar does not know, he is honestly not sure how fast his brother- now adept in medical alchemy can heal. He voices this to Miles, adding quietly. "For all I know, he could recover in a month or three years." He just doesn't know how far his brother's alchemic knowledge reaches anymore and that is scaring him. "Only time will tell." He knows his brother is too kind to use his alchemy like the State Alchemists did during the war but the uncertainty on what his brother can do with his alchemy is worrying him, he has seen what masters of alchemy can do and first hand been using his brothers somewhat unique alchemy, so with those two combined... yes, Scar is really glad that his brother is not a person to lash out in anger. Otherwise, his brother could probably turn a whole town into ruins with a single alchemy strike.

* * *

 **before any of you get the wrong idea, Tanvir is not Scar's canon name. it's simply what I decided to name him.**

 **if you have a wish of a certain scene or such; feel free to tell me and I might write a chapter out from it. I do sort of just write nonsense at this point and I don't think that will make a good story.**


	10. Memories of Li Wang

_The State Alchemist clapped his hands and a chain reaction of destruction left the alchemist, red lights surrounded him and his family, and the alchemy shredded the ground and took his family with it._

 _He did nothing, frozen entirely in fear of what was going on, but then, the alchemy surrounded his brother and seeing his hotheaded but very beloved brother about to get blown to pieces, something in him just snapped and he ran. He ran over to him and jumped in between the State Alchemist and his brother. His body got torn by the blast but somehow he survived and could still walk. Clutching his left side; bleeding badly from the alchemic attack, well aware it would only be a matter of time before he would bleed out. His wounds did not matter though, all that did was finding his little brother._

 _He found his brother and collapsed before him, he was alive but just barely, his face torn and to his greatest horror: his right arm was missing. Blood flooded out from the wound. He tried to stop the bleeding, but he wasn't strong enough to block the blood from flooding out. And no matter how much he called for help; no one came. His brother would die... unless... it will probably end up with his own death since this is his very first transmutation but a sacrifice he is willing to take if it meant the survival of his own brother. He starts transmuting his own right arm onto his brother, but because he isn't ready to meet Ishvala, he attempts on healing his own wounds- as expected: his alchemy rebounded and the last thoughts he made. 'better me than you.'_

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His eyes snap wide open and jerk up from bed, he regrets that choice right away when a painful jolt goes through his right side. Shade cries in pain, however, he's unsure what hurts the most; his right side or his head.

"Brother!"

Shade looks up, and for the first time, he truly feels like that man's older brother and not just someone he considered more like a roommate who claimed them to be in family with one another. Seeing his brother after that memory throwback feels him with relief, but also sadness. Now he knows how he got that scar- his namesake and... Shade lowers his gaze down to his own missing arm. Well, that explains why he feels a touch of pride from has lost it. Because due to that sacrifice; he saved his younger brother life.

Scar stops for a brief moment, the look his brother gave him; it startled him. Not entirely sure why, only that it made him wonder if his brother remembers their past together. He sure looked at him differently, but one thing first. Scar is aware that his brother is probably in a lot of pain by now, and even though he does not fancy alchemy one bit, he will look past it for the sake of his brother. He performs the numbing alchemy around the metal arm, allowing his brother some relief from the pain.

Letting out a sigh of relief when most of the pain disappears, Shade muses up to Scar. "Thanks." For he's not sure he could have done it himself. He has trouble performing alchemy when in pain, and unfortunately, he always got a low tolerance for pain. But now he can think straight, he can figure out what has been causing this pain.

Shade tries to leaves the bed, and his brother stops him, telling him hard. "Don't move, you need to rest." Yet the worry in his voice didn't go unnoticed for Shade. The few memories he has gotten about Scar hasn't said much on how this man is in personality, but Shade is starting to remember the love he felt towards his younger brother. He can however only wonder if their bond was anything like this before he lost his memories.

"I know." He replies Scar, but unlike the last time he went through this, he can heal the wounds and hopefully get past this whole ordeal much faster. He tries to move again."But I need solid ground to heal myself."

He really doesn't want his brother to strain himself, but he knows that Shade knows what he's talking about. So he allows and even helps his brother down to the floor, although it's reluctantly as he really does not want the wounds to reopen. "What do you need?" He asks, knowing his brother will use alchemy for this.

Shade points at his bag. "I need some calk."

When sure he won't move and reopen the wounds, Scar turns to the bag and briefly searches it. After he found what he's looking for, he hands the piece of calk to his brother. Shade draws down the transmutation array right beside where he is sitting on the floor, Scar notices it's the same one Mei draws when she's doing alchemy and thus looks into the bag again to see if there are any of those knives. He wasn't surprised not to find any; instead, he finds small metal poles, clearly made for the alchemy. He grabs those metal poles and turns back to his brother who has finishing up the drawing with his left hand.

Oh, Scar forgot that his brother can use his left hand as well as his right. He remembers his brother often wrote his homework with the left while eating with the right, he also remembers younger him found it weird he could do that.  
He figures that's why he marked both of his arms, for him it wouldn't make a difference which hand he used. Scar is strickly right-handed though, and thus performing alchemy with the left is quite tricky, the only time he can use the left properly is during combat.

Before his brother can even ask, Scar gives him the metal poles, his brother is a bit caught off guard but quickly recovers. "Thanks."

Scar watches him placing five of them onto the transmutation circle and with it done; he activates it.

When the light fades, Shade checks his shoulder. "Hmm... not fully healed, but it has to do for now." He muses. Performing medical alchemy right after another is often a bad idea as the alchemy is, after all, using the body's natural healing ability to close up wounds and pushing the body too hard can be a disaster, especially when the patient is low on energy like he is. Shade pushes himself off the floor and back up to the bed. Back there he eyes the man everyone calls Scar, one he now is starting to feel like family and yet... has no idea what his name is... anyway, he thinks it's best they have a talk. "Could you close the door?" and he wants it in private.

Scar closes the door and since his brother has that tone, he knows this conversation is going to get serious. He takes a seat on the bed beside his brother, waiting for him to speak. To his surprise, Shade puts his left hand on his right. "I remember what I did."

Scar's eyes wide hearing this, of all the things his brother could remember; this is what he remembers first. He lowered his head, eyeing the arm there once belonged to his brother. There is a question he had asked himself many times, back then unable to get answered because he thought his brother dead. But now... "Why did you save me?" He knows his brother cares deeply for him, the many memories he has about him makes that clear. But had it truly been enough for his older brother to sacrifice his own arm and thus close of dying himself?  
Shade blinks at this question and is frowning in his confusion. It's not often Scar sees this face so his question must really have been one he thought was obvious. Maybe it is, but he still needs to hear the answer. "What made you compromise your own life for my sake?"

He's not sure why his brother asks such a question since the answer is a simple one. "You're my brother." Shade answers him, yes even with barely any memories, he knows he cares for this man and Scar clearly feels the same way.

Scar thought so; still, it's nice to hear that has been solely the reason for this sacrifice. But Scar must admit that he would like his brother take back what he gave him all those years ago, it's painful to watch him suffer because of his selfless sacrifice."Brother?"  
His brother titles his head slightly at him and Scar turns his right hand slightly. "Can you reverse it?"

Shade eyes the arm that once belonged to him, frowning ever so thought of reclaiming his right arm... it's not something that hasn't fully crossed his mind but clearly been on his brother's. He wonders how bad Scar feels about watching him struggle through the automail recovery, but; "I don't want it back, I sacrificed it to save your life." and one he was more than willing to pay.

"But you continue on suffering under this choice." Scar argues, not sure which one he's most angry at. Himself from misusing his brother's sacrifice to his own senseless vengeance or his brother for not seeing that he no longer has to go through all this pain. "I should be the one with the automail." For he is very confident that he can take the pain way better than his brother.

He stands corrected, his brother does not only care but seems to blame himself for something involving the arm. Shade's not sure what it is, but he doubts Scar will tell him anytime soon. He carries something he seems unable to let go. "Brother, even if it means I will be free from this agony; I will never take that arm back and put this burden onto you." He puts his hand onto the arm that once belonged to him but now is part of his brother. "That arm belongs to you now."

His brother did not like this answer, and Shade did think that Scar would start yelling at him but he doesn't. Instead, he leaves the bed with a rather gruff. "I'll get something for you to eat." Shade watches him leave and does wonder what is troubling his brother's mind. It's not just him dealing with automail, it's something else. It's frustrating he doesn't know enough about Scar to understand what might have been the issue, can only hope more memories will return. His brother returns with a plate of food and as he puts it down on the night bed, Shade asks. "What's the true reason you want me to reclaim the arm?"  
His brother stiffens up, like an animal caught in a trap.

How is it he keeps forgetting about his brother ability to read him like an open book? The only thing saving him is Shade's lack of memories, if his brother knew about his past then he could've figured out what he has done... a dark part of him doesn't want his brother to remember, that way his brother can never figure out what terrible mistake he did and thus he won't lose his brother. "How severe are your wounds?" He asks in an attempt to change the topic.

His brother gives him a look of not being happy about him avoiding the answer but does, fortunately, drop the subject by letting out a small sigh.

"I managed to heal most of the wounds around the arm" Shade explains and takes a bite of the bread before continuing. "It's not perfect but has vastly reduced the recovery compared to the last time."

"You wasn't able to heal yourself the first time?" Scar asks, not sure if he should be impressed that his brother is clearly better in healing than Mei, or pity his brother from have gone through this before without any aid. He is starting to wonder if Shade can be just as powerful as the Elric brothers when it comes to alchemy.

Shade shakes his head. "No, back then I only knew the basics and Li couldn't heal major injuries such as the automail surgery do against one." He smiles, weakly. "One good thing came out from all of that agony though: Li spent a lot of time around me since she was my healer."

So that's how they met, Scar thinks to himself, glad that his brother met someone he could love. And even though he will never meet her in person, he still wishes to know more about the woman his brother married and later gave birth to Harika. "Tell me about her."

Shade laughs softly and starts to tell him a few memories about her that stood out for him.

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 _Shade sat in the room he was giving while living in the Wang clan, most of the room was filled with notes, books and scrolls about alkahestry. He was so engulfed into his research that he didn't hear the sliding door open, only got aware when his healer; the princess of the Emperor spoke to him. "I knew I would find you in here." He glanced to her with a weak and embarrassed smile of being caught studying when he should try and train his right arm. "I'm sorry, but I just can't put this down." He turned back to the book, the smile was gone from the thought this might solve the mystery that was his past. "Not when it might be the key to who I was."_

 _Li took a seat beside him, her black eyes on the unique tattoo on his left arm; the only thing he had left about a past he no longer could remember. All he knew that he had been studying alkahestry since one of the marks was about the dragon pulse. It was a bit strange since he wasn't from Xing with those red eyes and brown skin. Shade wasn't from Xing, so much was clear but without his memories, he wouldn't know where he was from._

 _Li Wang eyed him, gaze serious but kind. "Let me help you." and she took one of the books about the dragon pulse laying on the table. Shade smiled, glad she wanted to help him figure out who he was. He felt quite lucky in having her as his healer, was a bit strange why the princess of this clan did such a task when there were plenty others capable of doing the job. While she deciphered the lower part of his arm, he remarked something he has heard people of the clan mention. "You know, now that I am healed from the automail rehabilitation: there is no need for you to stick around a foreigner such as me." However, it wasn't really meant in the way of shooing her away, more an indirect question of why she used his recovery as an excuse of sticking around._

 _Li snorted as if offended, but the gleam in her eyes said otherwise. "Eager getting rid of me Shade?" She asked him teasingly._

 _He returned it with a kind smile. "Quite the contrary, I enjoy your company and so does Selena. However, the chief and some of the clan's people have started to talk."_

 _"People can talk all they like and don't mind the chief, he simply wishes I find myself a rich, boring husband." Li brushed his words off._

 _Shade smiled at her answer of wanting to be with him and Selena even though it could put her in a bad light. "I think I can do the boring part."_

 _Li turned away from the markings on his arm and eyed him amused. "You're not very subtle, are you?"_

 _He laughed at that and retorted back. "I simply said I am a boring man to hang around with," he gestured to the books he spent more time around than the people of the clan. "All I do is study and ask question people don't want to hear." One of those questions was who he was. His mind rarely could find rest; that was the first thing he discovered about himself. He opened his mouth but what he was about to say never left the lips for Li stopped them by learning up against his left side, resting her head on his shoulders. Her action and the sudden closeness caught him off guard. He looked down to her and she gave him a smile he would come to love. "Then I guess you fit the description of what the chief wants me to find."_

 _He couldn't help but laugh from the sudden turn of event, yes he must admit that he has gotten certain emotions for her and was hoping she felt the same way. But he honestly hadn't expected anything to come out from it. This was the answer to why she ignored the talk among the people and chief. "You don't take the easy choice, do you?" He smirked weakly to the princess which she returned with her own somewhat smug one._

 _"Where's the fun in that? Besides:" she took off his glasses and stroke her thin yet strong fingers near his eyes. "I really like the color of your eyes."_

 _He chuckled and after have reclaimed his glasses, he admitted: "I have been thinking a lot about you Li Wang, been intrigued in the way you can both destroy and create with your hands." He took her hands, those who could put a dagger through someone's throat but also create some beautify clothing out of the silk the Wang clan are making._

 _She kissed him and when their lips departed, she said. "This is why I want you Shade, no man has ever seen me the way you do."  
He knew from that day that he and Li were meant to be together._

 _He and Li's time together didn't change much compared to how it was before, the only thing that did change was their interactions. He liked being close and feel her skin under his fingers, get the taste of her lips, just as much he enjoyed her brushing fingers through his hair and being near to him when he was researching._

 _They were somewhat careful in showing their relationship as the chief wouldn't accept the princess of the Wang clan being together with a foreigner, one who could give her nothing other than happiness. But Li had decided to throw the sneaking around out of the window when Selena had asked them both if they could be her new parents._

 _Shade and Li were both touched and said they would, Selena became an entirely new person after that. She became happy and full of joy, got harder keeping track on and it sure got Shade out from his room._

 _Li was the one who proposed to him, he admitted he found it both weird and amusing. "Last I checked, it's the man who should do it." He joked and she retorted back laughing. "Wouldn't surprise me if you have been trying but lost the nerve every time."_

 _He hadn't answered, too embarrassed to admit that was in fact true. She teased him a lot about that, but it did ease him enough up to get on his knees and make the proposal. She, of course, said yes._

 _"I would love to get the chief's blessing, but I don't think he will allow this." Li admitted to him after she had weaved the ring meant for him and he transmuted one for her._

 _Shade felt the same way, the chief didn't care much for him but the moment they revealed their true relationship then he would become a thorn at the chief's side; a nobody who would by merely marrying the princess of the Wang clan, become a potential future chief and thus a rival to the current one. "Maybe we should do the bounds before we speak to him." Shade suggested, it would make the situation a win-win for him and Li. If the chief gave them their blessing, then they could simply pretend they haven't been married and if the chief refused, well, then at least he wouldn't have the power to banish Shade._

 _Li nodded in agreement. "We should. Can't have the chief arrest my husband of the reason he does not like my choice."_

 _It took some sneaking around but they found a priestess who was willing to do private matrimony and bless their bounds. The only person who was at the ceremony was Selena and she was so happy to hold the two rings they made for one another. As the priestess blessed them, he put the ring on her finger and she put it around his metal one. When the priestess said the words, they sealed the deal with a kiss. He and Li laughed from Selena's childish "Ewww~!" response, and Li teased the girl by kissing her too, Shade side began to hurt in how much he laughed._

,,,,

 _"I would like your blessing to this marriage." Li finished to the chief, Shade stood close to her side and stared up to Tai Wang whose whole face has gone redder than his eyes from the sheer anger the chief must've been feeling from knowing the princess had chosen a nobody as her husband instead of one of the pawns he was picking for her. He knew the reply long before the man spoke them. "I forbid it!" The chief shouted loud enough for practically everyone in the palace to hear it. "I won't let you marry him!"_

 _Shade glanced to Li and he felt both greatly sorry but also angry in seeing how heartbroken she was, but like the strong woman he knew she was; Li refused to shed any tears of their fear of Tai Wang refusing her happiness. "We feared as much." She spoke and explained the chief that they already have made the bounds and thus: "Shade is now an equal to you, Tai Wang." She told the enraged chief._

 _Shade did hope to defuse the tension and told Tai Wang calmly "This power struggle between you and me, I have no—" but he never got the chance to explain that he didn't care about power and all he wanted was to be by Li's side as a devoted husband._

 _"Shade you filthy scum! I should've thrown you to the tigers—"_

 _"Don't you dare speak to him like that!" Li snapped at the Chief, and once again reminded him. "Shade is now the husband of the Wang Princess, so you do well in paying him some respect!"_

 _Tai growled furies, but since that was true, he kept his tongue from insulting Shade further, but it didn't stop him from being petty. "I won't allow you to stay in my palace."_

 _"Then we will take the Western mansion." Li told him simply, she eyed Shade once before she told Tai in a softer tone. "That will be where our children will grow up." and that included Selena._

 _The chief's eyes wide in utter shock of what she had said. "Are you?..."_

 _She didn't bat an eye and Shade was more than impressed of her durability. "Yes, and I hope this child will have the eyes of my husband."_

 _They only recently found out she was with child and they had somewhat been hoping of not living in the palace. Shade didn't really trust himself of not misusing his given powers, he feared he would become like Tai Wang and the council. He preferred to live a simple life, even though his never-resting mind wouldn't fully allow such a lifestyle._

 _With a single but not very respectfully bow, she left and Shade followed her, leaving behind a very enraged Tai Wang. When away from unwanted eyes, it was only there Li broke down and he let her sob into his shirt. "You did great, my love. He may have the name of a tiger but you carry the fierceness of the tigress protecting her cubs."_

 _She hugged him tightly. "And you're like the wise dragon of the river."_

 _He wouldn't call himself a dragon but he figured he kinda asked for it when he tattooed the dragon pulse mark onto his arm._

,,,,

 _They were quick to settle into their new home and although Shade still wanted to find out who he was before he lost his memory, he didn't want to spend every single minute on the past. He wanted to enjoy the present and thus often followed Selena into the bamboo forest in search of animals or special plants. When not doing so, he spent time with Li, letting her teach him about the different crops and how to properly tend them. He might've been a bookworm but Shade didn't mind getting his hands dirty, he was aware that books only could teach that much and some hard labor did tire his body out so he could focus properly on his studies back in the mansion when the sun would set._

 _Both he and Li wanted Selena and their future child to learn both from books but also the hard way, which meant they did allow Selena to play around places where she could get more than a scrape, but they both knew she would learn her body's limits through these scrapes and bruises. That often meant both Li and Shade got a lot of practice in putting a bandage on Selena from whatever crazy stunt she pulled off when running around in the bamboo forest._

 _Li encouraged him in also putting his alchemy to practice, Shade was at first hesitant. The reason why he was hesitant he wasn't entirely sure of but over time he got over his hesitating and began using his healing alchemy on the farmers and even a few of the soldiers. His wife also made him use his reconstruction right arm for specific tasks._

 _But there was, however some things he refused to put into practice, one of them was the knowledge on how to tap into the mind's dragon pulse which should, in theory, allow him to see people's memories. That would always stay as a theory if he could get away from it. The only time he ever put that theory to work was to see if he could unlock his past memories but... well, that sure backfired. Li got really angry at him and pretty much made him sleep outside for a week– after she was done nursing his stupid ass back to health._

,,,,

 _When Li gave birth to their daughter, and he held his newborn daughter in his arms; Shade felt like the proudest man in the world._

 _Tai Wang's hostility towards them began to ease a bit up after the birth of their child. He at least came on visits, but from how he kept suggesting things, such as names and them moving into the palace, it became clear the man only wanted to get in good grace with Li and thus their newborn daughter. It was annoying and Shade could see his wife was planning to do something that would remind the chief that their red-eyed daughter was of his blood._

 _"You should name her." She said one day._

 _"Love to, but I only know Xing names." He replied, but she kept insisting that he should be the one naming their daughter. He spent the next weeks wrecking his brain in a good name, even went through books in hope to find an answer there. But the solution didn't arrive from a book but when he watched a group of merchants passing through the city and a single word- a name popped into mind. "Harika." He had no idea how he came upon it or why it came when he watched the merchants, all he knew that it would be the name of their daughter._

 _He returned back home and told Li of the name._

 _"Harika, I like it." Li replied and stroked her fingers gently over the sleeping baby's still bald head. "My little Harika."_

 _Shade smiled down to little Harika, did drop slightly when he noticed that Selena was off playing alone once again. The other children didn't like her for some reason. Li saw as well and remarked softly. "We should make Selena feel special too, she still fears we won't love her as much as our own daughter." Which was entirely untrue, both he and Li saw Selena as their daughter and lack of blood relation wouldn't change that._

 _Harika began to fuzz, sign she was getting hungry. Shade chuckled and told his wife. "What about you handle Harika and I will keep an eye on Selena? Sounds like a fair trade, don't you think?"_

 _"Very much so." Li smiled and took a seat. "Selena spoke about wanting to go down to the river. Go there, and hopefully, the river won't make your right arm rust too much."_

 _"I'm more worried about getting a fish trapped inside." He remarked jokingly and walked down to the river, stopped about halfway and called up to the laughing Li. "So if we smell rotten fish next week; that'll be me!"_

 _"Now I really wish that'll happen!" She called back through her laughter. "If only to see the servants reaction!"_

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Hearing those stories about the woman his brother chose as his wife, Scar can see why they fell for one another. He wishes he could've met her, his brother has a certain spark in his eyes he hadn't seen before when he told about Li, but unfortunately, that meeting is never going to happen. It's such a shame some assassins made Li's life short. It is clear his brother had truly loved her and from the stories, she did the same.

"Daddy?"

The two brothers turn to the door, at the opening stand Harika but only for a second, the next she has jumped onto the bed and hugs Shade tightly around the neck. "You awake!"

Scar has to pull her away from how pained his brother looks from getting pretty much tackled into his still healing right side. "Easy there little one, your father is still recovering." He explains the girl and she shifts embarrassed that she accidentally hurt him. "Sorry daddy..."

Through the starting to return pain, Shade gives her a crooked smile. "It's alright, just be mindful in the future, alright?" She nods she will and climbs onto the bed way calmer and carefully she takes a seat at his right side.

His brother wraps his right arm around her. "You worried us, daddy." She pointed out and Shade replies her softly. "I know, but you know this was necessary."

Harika nods, she knows that but that still doesn't change the fact she and Selena have been worried sick about their father's well being. "I know, but I was still worried." She points out pouting. It's not fun watching their daddy getting hurt and she really wishes he didn't have to go through this but she is smart enough to know their dad needs his right hand. Her dad rolls his eyes lightly and brushes her dark brown hair with his left hand. This action always calms her down and this time is no exception. She rests up against his body, happy her father isn't having a bad sleep and not aware of his surroundings like Selena said he would be, for that's how he was the last time this happened.

"Will you be able to travel?" Scar asks his brother.

Shade checks she skin around the automail, it's a bit inflated and exceedingly sour from the surgery, something his alchemy cannot remove. But the few wounds still around he can do something about "I will need to heal it one more time, but I will have to wait tomorrow for that. If I don't suddenly turn for the worse and we take it slow; I can handle the travel back to Ishval in a few days," Eyeing his younger brother seriously. "But even with my skills in the medical field; I cannot speed up the training progress needed to make the arm properly work. I won't be able to use my arm for at least six months."

"That's one hell of a shorten recovery time." Major Miles's voice remarks and the fully dressed soldier appears at the door. Shade eyes the man and it's easy to see Miles is impressed by his medical alchemy. "Most people need three years and you have shortened yours down to barely one."

"Mastery of alkahestry does that." Shade replies with a confident smirk that Scar has seen many times throughout his life from his older brother. He tries to be humble about his vast knowledge but his brother is prone to let the smugness come out now and then.  
"You ready to go back to Ishval?" He asks his brother who nods with:

"This place has been interesting, but I am getting a bit tired watching prosthetic limbs."

"They're worse than when you geek out about a dusty old book." The voice of a bored sounding Selena says inside the bedroom she and Harika have been using.

Shade chuckles, Miles raises a brow with a faint smile while Scar puts his monk training to good use and holds a rather good poker face to hide his own amusement of what the girl had said.

* * *

 **I think if I ever write another story about scar and his brother, I will make Li Wang a bigger part of the story. I would like to expand her character further and I can't do it here since she died in this story.**

 **it's more about the Ishvalen brothers anyway and I really enjoy writing about them.**

 **I will try and see if I can make another chapter soon**

 **till next time**


	11. Slippery memory

**I have practically gone through a writer frenzy when it comes to this story, so here's another chapter. about the two brothers of Ishval.**

* * *

It has now been two months since the operation and Scar thinks that it might be about time to fully integrate his brother and daughters into the Ishvalen society again. One of them is for the kids to be attending school.

"I know a school there will be very good for the girls." He tells his brother after he has returned back from his morning duties with Miles. "It is quite a way away from our home, but I can take them there before my own duties begin."

"I would like being the one who takes them there." Shade tells him, something the girls themselves are very excited about.

Scar is not surprised by the kids' reaction nor the reason why his brother wants to bring them himself. He takes his duties very seriously, one of the few things he and his brother have in common. "Of course, we can go there when the midday sun has passed." He suggests and turns his eyes to Selena, who speaks annoyed. "If it's because of me, then—"

"It's not you, Selena." He interrupts the girl before she gets the wrong idea to why they won't go in the midday sun. "The midday sun is very harsh, and it's too hot doing any work. We have saying: 'Don't walk in Cyrus's rays when he's at his highest.' the sun is beautiful, but if oblivious with its heat and rays and if we're not careful, we will be harmed." Selena and Harika both look a bit confused to this small lesson but at least they didn't react as he did back when he was in their age and his mother was the one who told him this warning. It feels like another life. A time where he carried a name and more worried about his training and how to serve his people the best way possible.

He snaps out from his short trip through memory lane when the girls' faces suddenly change from slight confusion into fear and worry, Scar follow their eyes and gets a bit worried himself from how his brother is pressing his left hand to his head from the migraine he's definitely feeling. "Brother, what's wrong?"

It came so suddenly, one moment he was listening to his brother lecturing his daughters in not underestimate the sun, the next:

 _he is thrown into a scene where he inside a room, watching the door as if someone has just run outside. He hears a woman voice but he cannot see her face as it seems she's behind him. "You might see him as a brash and a nuisance but deep inside, you know..." She on purpose trailed off and he turns to her, she is reaching a ripe age yet has a wisdom way beyond her years._

 _He nodded that he indeed knew that his little brother cared for his family, but he lacks the maturity and patience to see that fully. "But I do wish he would heed your words... I would like to go a week without having to haul his stupid ass back home."_

 _The woman laughed softly but did not answer him. The gleam in her equally red eyes says everything._

The memory lets go and left him with a nasty headache and quite the startle on suddenly have gotten another memory to the collection. "Got a flashback." He explains his family through gritted teeth of the sense that feels like someone is using his head as their anvil. It slowly subsides and he speaks to his oldest daughter. "Even we normal Ishvalen's like your daddy and uncle can get a sunburn if we walk around Cyrus rays. Best to leave the sun alone." And he sure hopes he doesn't have to haul her back into the shade like he apparently had to his younger brother back when they were kids.

She calms down slowly, from her worry of his sudden migraine and the realization that there was a reason to why no one wanted to go outside in the midday sun. "Oh..." and she asked an excellent point. "So why do the men dressed like Miles walk around this time of day?"

"It's always the same problem for the newer recruits. Think they can keep their normal schedule and the doctors have to treat them for their stupidity." Scar replies, thinking that's not his duty to constantly reminding them not to be out in the Ishvalen midday sun. But like stubborn children, it's best to teach them the hard way and let them get a minor heatstroke to remind them that the Ishval weather is not to taken lightly.  
That was at least how he learned this vital lesson. Not sure if he should feel sorry for Marcoh though, man is the one is dealing with the soldiers who think they can endure the sun and skip the nightly duty. That's a problem too, the newer recruits don't believe that the desert in the night gets too cold for their summer uniforms and thus Marcoh also deals with stupid soldiers getting hypothermia.

Shade does find his brother's comment rather amusing, as he too dealt with that problem in the start but then it's a good thing he does spend most of his time inside reading. Glancing to the outside, Shade must admit that this dreary and harsh place has its moments of beauty. Maybe it's his inner Ishvalen coming out, but he is starting to feel this is indeed his home. Even though the city has seen better days.

Speaking of which, he has taken notice that a lot of people went to a particular location every single day. "Where are all those people going every day?" He asks his brother.

"They are going Kanda, it's the main city in the area—our old home." Scar replies, he does a good job hiding it but Shade can see it pains his brother in not being able to live there.

Selena and Harika didn't notice; instead, they are more interested in hearing about Kanda. "Did you live there before?" Harika asks and his brother simply nods to the girl, his bit stony expression does change when Selena speaks. "Oh, I think it was the place where I lived with my former mom and dad."

Shade can't help but be a little amused by his brother's surprised expression but instead speaking about Selena's biological parents either had been living in Kanda or merely passing through when they ran from the military. Shade decides to ask his brother instead. "How far have they come in rebuilding this city?" and is admittedly very curious about this new information of what is going on here in Ishval.

"It is going forward, but Kanda is far from being able to house anyone." Scar replies to his brother's question. "It has taken the military and our people three years getting this far."

It might have gone quicker if he had used alchemy but he has only been using alchemy in combat, to destroy... Scar has refused to perform alchemy since the Promise Day, he just doesn't feel comfortable using it to minimal tasks such as clearing away the remnants of the State Alchemists attacks. Scar notices his brother is looking at him with a very intense gleam in his eyes and for a moment he felt like a kid that got caught telling a lie. He does wonder how much his brother can read between the lines, how much he knows and not letting on. "What?" he asks Shade a bit annoyed in how his brother is looking at him.

Shade doesn't blink and his voice this known calculated calmness. "I'm a bit surprised you haven't done alchemy to remove the damage."

There's a question behind these words. 'Why aren't you doing alchemy?' Scar remembers his brother often queries behind a simple remark. "I'm not comfortable in performing alchemy." He replied and wondered if his brother got the second message behind the words that he doesn't trust himself performing alchemy.

Why does this give him weird vibes? Like he's expecting his brother to loath alchemy but instead, he seems... nervous about the subject. It confuses Shade and he really wants to know the answer to this question but he will save this question for later. His brother has that look again, cluing him in that the talk about him doing alchemy is the same to why he has abandoned his own name and feels strongly unworthy to speak his. Shade doubt his brother is aware of this, but the mystery about whatever great mistake he did is really exhilarated.

Shade feels cruel that he considers this a great and exciting code to solve instead of dropping the subject entirely and leaves his brother's privacy in peace. "If you're having trouble, I can always teach you." He suggests, for most people, it would sound like a simple offer to help but Shade said it to test his brother's reaction, to see what his feelings are about the subject.

Scar gives him a taken aback look, then he turns away. "Don't bother." He replies and again Shade got the weird sense his brother should've become angry.

Rather strange and he does hope he soon will get more flashbacks that might explain this small mystery. "Alright, but do you have any alchemists helping you out cleaning up the mess?"

He wonders if his brother would've spoken this calmly about alchemists and the destruction of Kanda if he was aware of what happened to their homelands. "No." He replies Shade and is honestly not sure how to react when his brother responds. "Then maybe I should help you out."

He wants to get angry that his brother even suggested such a thing, to do alchemy- heresy in Kanda, their very home where this craft slaughtered their friends and family. But he stops himself, the wisdom he learned that alchemy is not what makes it evil but the person using it springs to mind. His brother doesn't know better, he does not remember the destruction. He wants to forbid it but even without memories, his brother hasn't changed much and he know that if his brother felt it would help their people, then he would do alchemy. All he can do is decide how to react. "If that's what you want, then I won't stop you, brother." Scar replies, very carefully not to make his tone reveal how he truly feels about alchemy.

He promised himself not to take his brother for granted, not after he has thought him for dead and missed his presence. He doesn't want to fight with his brother over something that may have caused the death and destruction of their home but if not for Shade's research then they wouldn't have been able to defeat that monster of a man below Central. "But I would like you have fully recovered before you go out and help."

His brother nods slowly. "I will don't worry about it." However, that gleam is making Scar wonder once again; how much is he able to read between the lines? How much does his brother truly know? Scar is honestly not sure, he had realized he had greatly underestimated his older brother when he realized what those notes held.

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While the two girls are playing inside their room, Shade puts down the book he's been reading and turns to his brother, who is doing a bit of weight lifting. "Alchemy is making you nervous." He points out.

Scar pretends he didn't hear him but he knows he did, his brother's eyes have gotten a certain hardness in them.

"You don't like it has become such a big part of me." He continues while keeping a keen eye on Scar's face. "Parts of me is constantly expecting you to blow up; to shout profanities that I am doing this craft, but you're not. It's strange really."

This time his brother turns to him. "Have you figured out why brother?"

Shade scans his face and the gleam in his eyes. His brother is worried and he thinks it's him getting closer to the answer of the mystery. Instead of answering that question, he instead asks. "Do you want me to figure it out?" his brother drops his gaze, not explaining but there's really no need. Shade wonders why he's so afraid for him to figure this out. "You don't seem like a man of much fear." He remarks softly.

No, but even someone like him is afraid of something, and one of them is losing his brother for the second time.  
Shade moves from his seat and puts his left hand onto his shoulder as he kneels down beside him. Scar watches him a bit confused to then instinctively tense up when his brother left hand gives off a few alchemic sparks.

"I'm not going to hurt you." His brother tells him softly and Scar tries to relax but it's hard from have continuously been ready to fight for years. Even after three years, he cannot get rid of this readiness of jumping into action and strike whatever that threatens him. But Scar refuses to give in to this urge, he's afraid that he might kill his brother if he does.

Shade moves his hand over his shoulder and presses a bit hard down on the muscles and suddenly, Scar felt like he got warm water poured down on him. His body relaxed, which was so weird since his brain was still raging, his brother then kneels down before him.

"Close your eyes." He says somewhat commanding. Although Scar really wants to know what in Ishvala's name Shade did to his body, Scar trusts his brother and does as told. He feels Shade's hands brush his fingers over his scarred face and slowly, his storm of thoughts eases down. What felt like the first in this lifetime, he can relax. It took him a moment to register that his brother no longer was touching his face and he opens his eyes, meeting Shade's smug-looking face. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" His brother says in a teasing manner.

Scar got a bit miffed but is unable to get angry from how relaxed he's feeling. "I still don't like alchemy." He points out and rolls his shoulders of this calmness that has pretty much forced onto him, must say it's way better than the numbing alchemy. "You could make a good doctor with all of these tricks brother."

Shade chuckles of that title. Him as a doctor? Yes, he might be one, but it's not a title he wishes to be known for. "That title always sounds so strange in my ears." He admits but not really sure why. He would indeed make a great doctor. Well except when it comes to major wounds, those make him freeze up for some reason. "Maybe it's just me, but I think I rather want to be a teacher." He finds it way more enjoyable sharing his knowledge and be in educating discussions with other people.

He hasn't changed, it's like he never left. Scar is both happy and sad about this, he doesn't feel like the young man before he got the iconic scar on his face and what he has been through the last decade... it has made him feel like he's the older one. "I'm sure our people would be very delighted knowing one of their scholars are still alive and well." He replies to his brother and can find joy in knowing his older brother still wants to teach other people.

"Daddy was a teacher?" Selena's voice asks and the girl appears from the door where she adds with a wide smile. "I can see why!" She flung herself onto his back, didn't help on this calming trick his brother did and Scar finds himself not really caring he got a teenager girl climbing on him. "He's better teaching me than the teacher in Xing!"

"What did I teach?" His brother asks a bit taken aback.

But Scar has no idea, and regrets he didn't really put much interest into it back when he had the chance, he was too busy being angry at Amestris and the war going on. "I don't know. All I do know that you used to work at the university in Kanda and was very respected."  
Then again, most of their family- the Adel family had been very respected with both their influence of trade and lines of great warrior monks. Scar has followed the tradition of becoming a monk, while his brother has chosen to go his own path and becoming a scholar of knowledge. Shade did aid their cousin in the trading business from time to time. It was how he was able to smuggle books about alchemy and alkahestry into Ishval. Back then, he hated it that his brother used their family business for such things, but now: he is sort of glad his brother did it. The country would've been doomed if not for his brother's transmutation circle.

"Oh, well guess I have to relearn about that as well." Shade remarks dryly, but unable to hide his amusement about what he is starting to consider a running gag about himself. His brother simply smiles.

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When the midday heat has passed, Scar brings his brother and the girls over to the building there is the school for the children. It's not really a school, more one of the few buildings that have been fully rebuilt and able to keep all of the kids until they got rebuilt the school once again. It's not perfect, but it will have to do for now.

Inside, Scar reintroduces his brother to a fellow monk, an old friend of his who fortunately survived the extermination. After having done the traditional greeting, Scar explains his friend. "Kanti, my brother has lost his memories, so he wouldn't remember you."

Kanti, a man with a few scars over his left arm and one large burn scar on his back. Scar is both relieved and a bit confused to how his friend managed to escape the Flame Alchemist's fire with only a burned back that makes it hard for him to move appropriately.

"Ah, that explains it." Kanti muses that his brother hasn't tried to start a conversation with him, something Shade always did when visiting the temple where the monks were training. Scar's friend repeats a hand sign up at his forehead, explaining the bit confused family of three. "This is how our people greet each other with respect."

His brother copies the gesture and the other monk then explains the amnesiac man. "We spoke from time to time when you visited to check up on your brother's training," Kanti chuckles lightly "but often what you said went straight over my head! Ishvala be praised for your knowledge."

Kanti then turns to Scar. "I helped your brother set up that transmutation circle of yours." It had been where he discovered his friend had survived, back then they didn't have time to catch up and Scar is glad that Kanti is still around and helping him in restoring Ishvalen tradition, legends and whatever writing they lost during the war.

"Wow, daddy, you are famous," Harika says in awe.

Shade chuckles lightly, not sure he will call himself that but it is a nice thought. "I am relieved my work didn't go to waste." He replies this Kanti who seems to be a good friend of his brother.

And he listened to his words for once, Scar thought to himself.

"What do you teach youngsters?" Shade asks and Kanti explains: "We're teaching them about Ishvalen language and grammar, along with the belief in Ishvala. Most of our teachings have been from the mind itself, a very few of our writings survived the war and the books the Amestrians have isn't much use— what?"

It's only there Scar realizes his brother has spaced out, which is unusual and is possibly just as confused as Kanti about this sudden change of behavior.

Shade realizes he has been spacing out from thoughts he really cannot put together. "Sorry about that, it happens from time to time." He apologizes, brushing this misty thought off.

He dealt with a few back in Xing, but ever since the return to Ishval, he keeps getting them. Shade has a feeling it's because his lost past is buried under the sand of this desert. "Say, if you have the time. Could you after the classes teach me about this as well?" He asks the man he used to know but unfortunately now is only a stranger. "The few books I got haven't been much help and with brother busy with his duties, he doesn't have much time in explaining to me how things work." He explains Kanti, but he hasn't told the full truth to why his brother couldn't teach him these things.

Scar could but their talks often derail to their past or the mystery of what is bothering his brother, so Shade has realized that his brother teaching him is perhaps not the greatest idea, but he wants to learn his language. He wants to be an Ishvalen again.

Selena can't help but find humor in this. "You going to school, daddy?" She giggles, harder when her father pulls her into a one-armed hug with: "Can't have my brother and girls has to translate for me all the time, now can I?"

Selena laughs at this as this is a silly excuse. "Dad, you learn things so fast! You already know more than me and Harika combined!" Her little sister nods in agreement that their father has picked up on the language pretty fast.

Scar is not sure he should cry or laugh in joy from hearing this request from his brother, he settles on a simple smile.

Kanti, on the other hand, beams of the request coming from Shade. "Of course, I would love to help you! I will have time between eight and ten. It's not too late for you?"

"Don't worry about that Kanti, he doesn't know the word 'sleep.'" Scar remarks wryly, his small revenge of all the time he has found his brother sleeping at the table. It earned him a short glare from Shade but a laugh from Kanti and the girls.

"Eighth and ten it is then. I look forward to teaching the two girls." Kanti says, eyeing the teenager and child.

Harika being the one most excited of going to school, Selena is just mildly curious about the whole thing. The oldest of the two girls look up when her father tells her lighthearted. "Try not to cause too much trouble, especially you Selena."

"I don't cause trouble." She defends herself, but her father knows otherwise and so does Scar. He may not have known her for that long but he already knows this girl has a lot of energy in that young body and she is prone to cause trouble as she quickly gets bored.

Eyeing Kanti, Shade thinks it's fair to warn the man. "Be sure keep a hand over Selena; she is quite the troublemaker."

"Daad~!" Girl in question whines annoyed.

"I'll be sure to do that," Kanti promises, adding with eyes on the pale-skinned Ishvalen girl. "but I am sure you won't on purpose cause trouble, right young one?" Selena shift embarrassed around on her feet, being unsure how to respond to that.

After they have shaken hands with Kanti, the small family leaves the building and on the way back home, Shade voice his evening plans. "I will pay doctor Marcoh a visit. See if I can teach him about the dragon pulse." That lesson has been delayed for long enough and Shade feels like leaving the house for a chance.

His brother nods he understand and eyes Selena who asks her father hopefully. "Can I go over and play with Rick?"

It takes Shade a moment to remember that Rick is the name of that goat shepherd boy, living with his grandfather if he remembers correctly. "Of course." He replies to her. She and Rick have become quite good friends, they are after all pretty much in the same age.

Selena beam and before any adults can stop her, she is off to visit her friend. Shade rolls amused his eyes, hoping Rick's grandfather can handle her. He turns down to his youngest child and asks her. "What about you?"

Blinking when the girl turns her attention to his brother there answers with a comically straight face. "I promised to go with her and see the den she found- foxes I think." His brother looks a bit unsure if it was foxes his daughter found and Harika seems uncertain about it as well. "They looked like foxes, but not the ones I'm used to..." She muses.

Shade doesn't really care what animal she found, he's just happy that she and his brother are spending time together, and his brother will keep her safe if that den is home to a snake." Tell me all about it when you two return."

"We will." Harika promises and takes her uncle's hand, Scar eyes his brother. "See you tonight." and they head off to find that den.

Shade waves after them once before he heads to the clinic, finding the doctor sends a patient off. "Hello, Tim." He greets the man.

Marcoh smiles seeing the older brother of Scar again. "Been a while, my friend." Must admit that he and Shade have clicked very well and Scar's older brother is one of the few people who can keep up with him when it comes to the discussion about the medical. Marcoh notices the new automail arm resting inside the sling. "How is recovery doing?"

Shade smiles. "Quicker than most; I do have the advantage of being a master in medical alchemy."

Ah, yes, Marcoh does remember Shade mention that and he more than once been healed by Mei, so he has an idea on how Scar's brother's alchemy works.

Inside, the Ishvalen alchemist allows him to check the flesh around the metal arm and Marcoh is impressed on how fast he has recovered in this short among of time. "Mei has healed me with her alkahestry a few times, but I don't think she could've done this." He gestures at the practically healed skin around the metal.

Shade has trouble not to feel smug at the praise of his alchemic skills, and now that they talk about Mei. "True, but she was quite limited with research material; being one of the lowers clans of Xing." But he is sure if she gets the right material and keeps up her studies; then she will become just as good as him. She is a smart young woman. "I like to think I only got this good because I lived in one of the highest-ranking clan."

But from what people continue telling him: he was a scholar in alchemy long before he came to Xing. He has a vast knowledge about it, he just doesn't remember it. Not to mention he sucks in learning like the desert does to what little water that falls. "But I think it's more my ability to learn new things fairly quickly." He voices to Marcoh and knowing he studied alchemy here in Ishval as well, it must mean he left research books behind, not just that note. It was the end result of his research. "I wish I remember where I hid my old research notes." He must admit and is a bit annoyed he does not remember.

Marcoh blinks a bit confused about what Shade said. "So the notebook you gave your brother wasn't your research notes?" but there were notes upon notes about alkahestry in them, then again, all of that didn't teach someone like him anything about that form of alchemy.

"I don't think so," Shade muses, he takes a seat and explains after the doctor has sat down as well. "When I spoke with someone named Kanti today, I got into one of my so-called memory episodes."

"You mean you remembered something?" Marcoh asks, mostly just to be sure they are on the same page.

"Well, not exactly," Shade admits a bit hesitant, he scratches the back of his head with a slight frown. "when they appear I get the sense I know something, yet no matter how much I try; I cannot grasp what my mind is trying to remember."

Marcoh can see this is starting to annoy Shade as the man explains him. "I dealt with this in Xing but never this severe before. It feels like my old memories are struggling to get out from whatever prison that rebound did to me."

"Are you sure a rebound caused your amnesia?" Marcoh asks, not sure if he should be surprised or not. Rebounds can leave some nasty side effects on the alchemist. So a blockade of memories caused by a rebound can be plausible.

Shade nods, confidently that it was indeed a rebound that caused his amnesia. "I'm certain. Not only did a recent memory show my last moments before I lost myself, but through past research: I discovered this blockage inside my mind, but when I tried to remove it…" Shade chuckles humorlessly. "That was the worst migraine I have ever experienced. According to my wife, I was knocked out for a week." and boy was she angry when he recovered.

Marcoh is not sure he would've tried that but he must give Shade the credits of not being afraid of continue pursuing a topic. Makes him wonder if he might fix Shade's memory issue. "Maybe I can remove this blockage with the philosopher—"

"No." Shade interrupts Marcoh hard, he quickly realizes his mistake and apologizes but he still stands his ground on this matter. "I don't want that thing near me." It gives him all the bad vibes and he instead wants to deal with his amnesia than let this evil thing restore his memories.

Tim is fortunately understanding and drops the subject about that cursed thing. Instead, the doctor asks him. "If you have other research notes: where would you hide them?"

Where indeed? Shade thinks. The research notes he made in Xing got hidden as history books in his private library, but after he worked as a decoy for his two daughters; he destroyed all of his research. He refused Tai Wang to get his grubby hands on the alchemy he has created through his years of study.  
Anyway, when he got the small book he gave his brother, Shade noticed that he pretty much has kept the same style hiding his research notes. So now the question is: where is his old library? And where will he keep it safe in a place that could blow up any moment?

Shade does not have any answer on that, his brain refuses to give up that little secret. It's frustrating but nothing he can do about it. Instead, he can be proactive by teaching Marcoh about the dragon pulse. "My brain doesn't feel like revealing that to me, and I don't feel like dealing with a headache. So let's try and teach you a bit alkahestry instead."

Tim is a bit taken off guard by the topic change but fortunately does not pursue his memory issue further. "Alright, what do you need me to do?"

Shade takes him outside and asks him to take a seat. Marcoh does and Shade sits down before him. "Most people from Xing would simply tell you to focus your mind, but I figured explaining this in a more analogy manner helps a lot more for a beginner. If you're more for the scientific speech, then I can do that too."

"Explain it the way you feel most comfortable." Marcoh replies.

Shade nods and after have made the doctor close his eyes, he begins to talk. "Imaged you are sitting on a rock in a great river, you cannot touch the water but try and feel the strength coming from it, how it brings energy throughout the land."

He watches Marcoh's scarred expression try and find himself on this imaginary river and when it seems he got the picture in his mindset, Shade speaks again. "Feel the air on your skin, the warmth flow passing over it. Take a deep breath, feel the air fill your lungs and share its very energy with you." He has a feeling Tim will have an easier time sensing this flow since he's a doctor and knows more about the body than the earth itself.

Marcoh is close to asks what feeling the air has to do with sensing the flow in the ground, but he is sure Shade has his reasons and let his focus be on the wind faintly blowing over the town and his own breathings. He follows his own breathing, observing the air get into his lungs and out again, in and out, in and out.

"Follow the air, let it bring you deeper inside."

Marcoh does and it takes a while to understand what Shade meant but when he did, he sees his own body in a whole new manner. The air in his lungs got brought out to the blood and it got shared to wherever it was needed, he could feel how his heart brought the blood around, like a river itself. He does know about this from his education in medical and his praxis on the body itself, but his mind still got blown away in feeling the very working of his body.

He lost the concentration and the moment is broken. Marcoh opens his eyes and through heavy breathing, he brings his hand up to his head of what he has just experienced.

Marcoh notices that Shade is smiling. "What did you sense?" the Ishvalen asks calmly.

He knows very well what he felt. "I could follow my own blood, it was incredible." Marcoh speaks and is startled Shade taught him that instead of sensing the one in the ground, can't say he complain though.

"Was that my inner dragon pulse?" It sure felt like this flow Mei and even Shade spoke about, but to his surprise, the Ishvalen shakes his head lightly.

"No, that's only the surface. A person's true dragon pulse is the very energy going through our body." Shade got on his feet, saying: "You will sense it in time, my friend. Now you know how to reach the small stream, you can in time get to the river itself."

Shade offers him his hand and Marcoh lets Shade help him back on his feet. "How long do you think it will take?"

Considering how fast Marcoh caught on sensing his own blood's flow. "If you meditate at least once per day, then I say about a year or two before you can sense your inner dragon pulse to its fullest."

And speaking of inner dragon pulse. Shade puts a hand on Tim's back and with a bit of alchemy for the extra punch, he jags his fingers onto the doctor's spine.

Marcoh lets out a cry of the quick pain but quickly realizes that his back doesn't hurt anymore. He gives him a startled look and Shade simply says with a chuckle. "Might not consider myself a doctor, but I do know how to fix a sour back."

It was very much like how Mei showed him how a person's dragon pulse worked, except she made it hurt while Shade removed the pain. Marcoh is a bit surprised that this Ishvalen doesn't consider himself a doctor. "How's that? Your medical alchemy can do wonders." His back sure is proof in that.

Shade laughs weakly. "I would faint if dealing with serious injuries and well... being a healer is merely an extra perk for me."

Ah, Marcoh understands, not all people are meant to handle the sight of a severely wounded person. "Have your brother told about what you was before?" He asks and wonders in how much Scar is telling his brother, Marcoh has taken notice that Scar has become a bit on edge around Shade. He does wonder why for Scar does seem to care genuinely about his brother from how his free time practically involves around Shade and the two children. It is good though, before Shade's arrival, Scar spent most of his time working.

"My brother mention I was a teacher before," Shade replies the doctor and he lets his gaze follow the streets, watching Ishvalens go about their lives. "and I must admit that I interested in taking that job again. I like teaching."

"You will be a great teacher" Marcoh agrees, the elderly man's face did drop slightly. "It's too bad the Ishvalen's has lost most of their written..."

Shade again spaces out with his mind trying to grasp the memory that struggles past the blockage, but he just can't reach it. "Shade?" He blinks and realizes it happened again. He caresses his somewhat hurting temple, musing. "Sorry, it happens all the time..."

"One of your memory episodes?"

Shade nods.

Ah, he can see what Shade means, must be frustrating remembering something but no idea what it is. "I noticed it happened when I mentioned Ishvalen writing." Marcoh points out and does wonder what it means.

Shade has taken notice of that too. "Yes, and this isn't the first time it happened. Happed when one of my brother's friends mentioned about writings as well—" he has to shake his head from how his mind again tries to grasp around that memory. "-it keeps happening… what is it my mind is trying to remember?" He asks himself. Unfortunately, the answer in the form of this slippery memory refuses to be caught and tell him what's the big deal is about the mention of books.

* * *

 **poor Shade, his brain is being quite the troll at the moment. taunting him with a memory right out of his grasp.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.** **  
**


	12. A catastrophic visit

**a comment/constructive criticism from "WargishBoromirFan" has made me recheck and update the past chapters for any grammar mistakes. there might still be some but that is as far my writing skills can take me at the time. English isn't my native tongue and so, the grammar can slip from time to time.**  
 **so thanks for making me aware and I am glad you like how I am writing the characters in this story. it's always nice to hear you readers thoughts on what I write.**

 **enjoy!**

* * *

He didn't really fancy paying Scar a visit but he had to accept that Mei likes the man and she wanted to make sure her once traveling companion was doing well. Alphonse is not really sure what made Mei like Scar, he rarely talks, and he and Edward have seen firsthand what the rage that man held could do to others.

He can never forgive Scar from having killed Winry parents nor the chimera that once had been Nina, but he has to accept that Mei won't change her mind towards Scar and as long he is together with her: Alphonse just has to deal with the scarred man.

At least it gives him a chance to see how Shade is doing. Alphonse likes that man way better, he's friendly and has a curious mind very familiar to him and Edward. He does hope Shade is doing well, for even though it was rather apparent that Scar cared for Shade, Alphonse is painfully aware of Scar's feelings about alchemy and Shade is a master alchemist. Alphonse dreads that Scar might hurt his own brother from the loath he feels towards alchemy.

They step off the train in Ishval and head over to the command center so they can hear where Major Miles is located at the moment, for where the Major goes, Scar goes.

They never got that far though, for on the way they encountered Harika and Selena. Both greeted him and Mei. "We didn't know you were coming on a visit" Harika remarks.  
It pleases Alphonse to see the young girl being a bobble of joy and her before dull eyes are now shining. She has indeed turned for the better here in Ishval and that made the whole rescue mission worth it.

Mei Chang is the one who answers the young girl. "We wanted to surprise Mr. Scar and the rest of you."

"Well, you certainly succeed," Shade speaks in a light chuckle of seeing two familiar faces again. He walks over to Alphonse and Mei, shakes both their hands with his right. He is starting being able to move it but only for menial tasks such as a simple handshake or flipping a page on a book. He still can't lift anything heavy, the flesh around the automail hasn't yet healed enough for that.

He eyes Alphonse and asks him friendly. "Starting to sense the dragon flow yet?" and the young man replies smiling. "Yeah, your lessons really paid off."

Shade is glad to hear that. "Happy to help," to then turn to Mei when she asks the question he knew she would sooner or later. "Where's mister Scar?" She cares about him and Shade knows his brother does the same, he does wonder the story behind how these two got acquainted in the first place.

"My brother is currently helping Major Miles in the Daliha district. There are a few communication problems." Shades replies and still finds it amusing in how his brother groaned about having to play mediator again between the farmers located in the Daliha district and the Amestrians who do not understand there is a reason of them having the legend of Ishvala's bed. His brother told him about the legend and for some reason he started to laugh but not sure why. Scar looked he knew why though but stubbornly refused to explain the joke behind it.

Anyway, back to their sudden visiting guests. "But I should be able to keep you company until he returns." Shade turns to lead them back to his brother's home but stops when he takes notice that his two children have run off, fortunately not far as he can see Selena's turquoise scarf nearby.

Both girls are kneeling down before something. "Girls, what'd you got there?" He asks and walks over to them with Alphonse and Mei close behind.

Selena turns around and reveals a cat with a sandy tabby pelt. "Isn't it cute?" She asks while petting the loudly purring cat. Shade, although he agrees the cat does look cute and very friendly, he just cannot shake the feeling that he should stay away from it.

Alphonse steps over and pets the tabby cat under the cheek, it really likes that and he is pretty sure it's purring gets louder. He smiles in how the cat tries to stroke its entire head against his hand, wiggling around in Selena's arms in its attempt to show how much it wants to be petted.

And like any kid who finds a cute animal, Harika asks her father. "Can we keep it?"

Alphonse remembers how he often asked his mother the same thing but she never would let him keep the cats he dragged home, they just didn't have the money for it. He turns to Shade who looks quite hesitant about it. "I don't know…" the girls' father muses and Selena presses further by saying. "We promise to take care of it. Please, dad."

Well, the girls have proven capable of taking responsibility and he has heard pets does children good… so why does he has this nagging feeling it's a terrible idea? It's not like he can use this weird hunch as an excuse. "Hm, I guess I could let you—" The girls cheer, startling the cat and it jumps over to Alphonse.

Shade is quick to come with the condition. "but if I see you neglect responsibility, let it be keeping it healthy or making sure it doesn't destroy the house, then the cat has to go." Selena and Harika nod they will take full responsibility for it, but something tells Shade that it won't be going for long. Ah well, it's just a cat, it can't be so bad.

Harika gets to hold the once again calm cat from Alphonse, who along with Mei follows the man and two children back to their home. Alphonse is a bit surprised in how big this seemly made of sandstone house is, and how wonderfully cold there is inside. The house itself looks somewhat normal, except there are pillows on the floor before a small table. Alphonse has taken notice that Ishvalens often sits on the floor, he does wonder why they do that instead of using chairs like other people in Amestris does?

He and Mei take a seat at the table awfully close to the floor, Shade joins them right after he has made them something to drink and removed all the papers lying around. The two girls are searching through the kitchen for a suitable bowl for the cat. The feline itself waltzes over to Shade and strokes its body against his left arm.

The Ishvalen pets it briefly before pushing it off. "Where's the two— was it chimeras they called themselves?"

Alphonse nods he got it correct, "Jerso and Zampano are currently meeting up two of their own comrades in Morhed." He explains and after this visit, he and Mei promised to pick them up before they return to Resembool where they will meet up with his brother who will soon return from his own travels in the west. Maybe they can combine what they have learned, and find a clue in how to separate the animal from a human chimera. "We're going to meet my older brother in Resembool."

Shade nods and while scratching his still fleshy hand, he remarks. "So you're a younger brother? How is your older brother like?"

Alphonse chuckles. "He has quite the temper, especially if someone calls him short."

The smile does drop when Shade remarks. "Sounds a bit like my own brother, except it's more the name calling he's touchy about."

Alphonse is not really sure how to respond to that, he doesn't think his brother and Scar have anything in common in personality. "I don't think Edward has anything in common with Scar."  
Shade merely shrugs with a smile that at first glance merely seemed to say 'if you say so' but that smile combined with the glance the man gives him. Alphonse gets the sense that Shade does not really believe that, does makes him wonder if— Shade sneezes, startling Alphonse out from his thoughts.

"Sorry about that," Shade muses and is starting not to feel very well. He gets up to dry off his running nose and for some reason, his hand keeps itching. "I think I'm coming down with a cold or something," but something in the back of his head is constantly pushing, trying to reveal that this is not a cold. However, like with the mystery of the books, this info of his head will not come to the surface and tell him what he knew before the rebound screwed up his mind.

,,,,,,,,,,

"It's a wonder how you Ishvalens know exactly where this underwater river is located." Miles speaks after he and Scar have returned from solving the argument between the Amestrians who had tried to build them a new well and the farmers kept telling them the well would've been useless where they had built it at that location. It proved that the Ishvalen farmers stood correct and Scar once again explained about this legend of the river that keeps Ishval alive.

Pulling his brother's horse away from the water trough, Scar answers his red-eyed brother. "Every child of Ishval will be taught the location of the river through our stories of Ishvala."

"Does your nieces know the story as well?" Miles asks him as he mounts his own brown horse.

Harika didn't know the story and Selena only did briefly when he told them the legend of their god. "Yes, I told them the story not long ago." Scar explains his comrade and is still annoyed that after everything his brother has forgotten, he still, somehow remembered his blunder back when he got the story told as a kid.  
For once, Scar is relieved his brother does not remember what the blunder is about and prays that memory will never return. He would like younger him mistake will be put to rest already.

Scar lightly kicks the horse Star to move and quietly he and Miles ride back to the Arjun district. They arrived back in the district right when people leave their houses again for the evening work. After having returned the horses into the military stable, Scar spots the stable cat and like the other times he sees it. He gives the mother cat a bit of food and pets her grey head.

Miles does no longer voice his amusement that a warrior monk like Scar has a soft spot for these felines.

Scar is glad Miles keeps his mouth shut about it, he's embarrassed to show this side, but he just can't help himself when he encounters a cat. When the mother cat feels she got enough of the attention, it runs back to its makeshift bed and with it gone. Scar walks over to the sink to wash his hands.

This catches Miles attention, Scar didn't do that the other times he said hi to the stable cat. "That's a change." He remarks and it hasn't been the only one. Miles has taken notice that the nameless Ishvalen has gotten both happier and more aware of the time, which did at times show as impatience when dealing with whatever issue they have to solve.  
The return of his brother has truly changed Scar and Miles sees that as a good thing for even he could see that Scar doing nothing but work in restoring Ishval, never doing anything to relax hasn't been good for the man.

Scar casts him a quick look and does, fortunately, explain this change of behavior. "My brother is allergic to cats."

Miles has to bite his lips so he won't laugh at this small fact, it's hilarious to think that a cat lover such as Scar happens to have an older brother who is allergic to the felines. "Quite the irony," he speaks and the look in Scars eyes says that the scarred man agrees with him. If the nameless Ishvalen has to wash his hands, then that must mean Shade is really allergic to cats. "Must be pretty bad."

Miles has no idea… this quirk of his brother has been the bane of his existence. Scar remembers he once tried to smuggle a cat back home but that only worked for two days before the cat hairs in the air gave his brother a reaction and he let the cat go; for there's only for so long a kid wanted to listen to a constantly sneezing older brother. "Will you need me later this evening?" He asks Miles, not something he did before but now that his brother has returned, Scar wants to spend time around his family, even if it means enduring his brother's constant poking into his past regrets.

"I will get you if I need any assistance." Miles answers and adds with a smile as he passes him. "You go and be with your family."

Which Scar thinks they both will; Miles has a family not far from Ishval as well. However, his child didn't get the Ishvalen iconic eyes but instead his mother's brown. Still, Jessie is a good kid, bit shy but one Miles can be proud of.

Scar leaves the command center and passes the market place where he buys groceries to a dish their mother loved to make. He's not as good as mother, but at least he's not as bad as his brother.

Scar does get quite surprised when he found not only Mei but Alphonse Elric inside his house. He's not angry though, more caught off guard of this unexpected visit.  
Then he hears his brother sneezes and looking at him, Scar is not sure if he should feel sorry for him or roll his eyes that his brother has forgotten that he's allergic to cats and now got an allergic reaction.  
He decides to get a bit worried for his brother looks miserable, he has gotten a bad rash on his right hand and wheezing for air. The sign he has been in close contact with a cat. "Where's the cat?" He demands the visitors and his nieces hard.

Alphonse and Mei blink, with the latter asking, "How did you know, mister Scar?"

He does not blame them for this, it's not like they know but the cat really needs to get out before his brother gets worse. "Where is it?" He asks harder.

Selena appears sheepishly, holding the local cat in her arms. "Here it is..."

Scar hates to do this but, "the cat needs to go."

"But—"

"It's making your father sick." Scar interrupts the girl's objections, turning to his brother that muses through his dry throat. "…That explains a lot…" to then sneeze from having a cat's hair on his skin and probably some got into his lungs from how he's struggling for air.

Scar returns back to Selena who does, fortunately, see reason and with no further arguments, brings the cat outside. Scar then tells Mei to get his brother some fresh water. "Wash where the cat touched him." She does and Scar then tells Selena to change her clothing, well aware she's filled with cat hairs from having lifted the cat. Selena gives him the shirt and her scarf and he asks the rest. "Anyone else been holding it?"

"I did." Alphonse answers and Scar commands him to take off his shirt and throws one of the shirts he bought for his brother. It's too big for the young man but it will have to do until he has washed his shirt clean for cat hairs.

All of this seems a bit extreme, but it's not like Alphonse knows anything about what it means to be allergic. Shade did get 'sick' quickly after they brought the cat inside and he is currently lying on the floor, looking as if he caught a nasty cold. "How serious is this? Should we get a doctor?" He asks Scar who is currently washing his shirt for the cat's hair.

"If he doesn't get more cat hair on him; he will get better in a few hours." The scarred man answers and after he hung the clothing up to dry, Scar walks outside to presumably talk with the two girls, both are still outside with the cat.

Alphonse checks on Shade, the man still looks miserable but his wheezing has subsided.

"Are you feeling better?" Mei asks him while she cleans his left arm and hopefully, the rash will disappear soon.

Shade lets out a sneeze and answers with a faint smile. "Not really, but it no longer feels like—" he sneezes again, "-like I have sand down my throat."

That's good to hear. Alphonse decides to check up on the girls, and hope that Scar isn't giving them a hard time on having brought home a cat. It's not like any of them knew about Shade being allergic. However, what he sees outside is not something he expected.  
Instead of finding Scar giving the two girls harsh words as expected, he finds the man petting the cat while talking surprisingly calmly to Selena and Harika.

"— so, you see? As long we remember this little rule, there is no harm in having the cat around."

The two girls nod and Harika takes over her uncle's task in petting the cat. Alphonse has always thought Scar to be a hard and harsh man, not having the patience to deal with children or even having much care for others. So he finds this scene of the scarred man petting a cat and talking softly to Selena and Harika is quite surreal. It makes Scar look so… human.

Scar notices him and drops his gaze in embarrassment, again something very surreal. Who should have thought the hardened killer who didn't even blink murdering people, could feel embarrassed when people see he has a soft spot for cats and apparently also children.

The scarred man gets up, leaving the two girls in petting the cat and quietly passes him, does stop when Alphonse admits. "I'm starting to see what your brother meant."

Scar gives him a somewhat confused look which does, once again look strange as Alphonse has been so used to see that angry frown all the time. "There are some things we have in common…" he muses and is not really sure if he like this revelation of having a lot of things in common with the killer of Winry's parents.

Scar is not entirely sure what Alphonse Elric meant, the only thing he and the Elric brothers have in common is knowing how it's like to have a brother. He does wonder what his brother said to make Alphonse try and speak to him like a normal person.  
Not that he deserves it.  
The young man walks over to his nieces and joins them in giving the cat some attention. Well, looks like he and Elric have that in common.

,,,,,,,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric and Mei left later that evening, with the latter voicing almost the same thing Miles did not long ago. "It's good to see you have become happier, Mr. Scar." Which left him in the pondering if he really has become happy? He guesses he has become more grateful at being alive, that he hasn't lost every connection to his much happier past. But he won't say he's happy.  
Scar still carry hatred towards Amestris and at times he has to fight against himself so not to give in to the beast of vengeance, it has become easier with his brother around but this return has also made his life, well, it has become very complicated.

"I would like to hear the tale in how you got acquainted with Mei Chang."

His brother's voice cuts through Scar's thoughts and he turns to where Shade is lying. Even though it has mostly faded, his brother hasn't moved from his spot since he got the allergic reaction. Scar walks over to his brother, but instead of explaining how he met Mei, he asks. "Shouldn't you be on your way and be taught by my comrade?"

Shade does not move from his spot. "Hm, I don't really feel like it at the moment." He murmurs and smirks up to his frowning brother. "Must be from my allergic reaction, so, I think I will skip the lessons tonight."

His brother is so lying, his allergic reactions of the past have never stopped him from going out and be schooled. "You're full of bullshit." Scar tells his brother bluntly, did make Shade laugh and yet he did not move.

"Is that a way to treat your sick older brother?" Shade playfully complains, he waves his left hand towards the kitchen. "Especially when he needs some tea for his sour throat?"

Scar rolls his eyes but does as asked, he brews some tea and takes a seat beside his brother where he hands the cup of hot liquid.

"Ah, thank you. Now, how did you meet Mei?"

Of course that's why he made such a big deal out of this. Shade has never done things without an agenda. "You really want to miss a lesson for a simple story on how I met her?" His brother gives him a look that he got that one right.

Scar again rolls his eyes, this time with a smile, though. "Fine, I met her when..." how does he explain this without saying what he did? "Another companion of mine found and revived her, and when I returned from my... business, she explained she was from Xing."

Shade eyes his brother in wonder in how Scar hesitated in specific points of this small story but for once he did not question about it; instead, he allowed Scar to tell this short story.

Which Scar is thankful for, it's hard enough explaining this as it is. "Although I had no wish in her coming along, Mei was persistent and I pretty much owed her from healing a wound I had received. Over time, I figure we just sort of bonded."

"She looks up to you." Shade points out from the observations he has made from that young Xingese woman.

Scar huffs. "And I still wonder why." He hasn't done much to earn her respect. He most of the time paid her no mind and when he did, it was he needed her to do something. Well, there was the time when he helped in searching for what he- back then- thought as a cat. Oh, and the time he told her, although rather harshly to go back home with that greatly weakened homunculus.  
After Scar returned to Ishval and Mei to Xing, he thought that was the end of it, but no, he began getting letters from Mei and, well, first just to be polite, he replied on the letters but later he did it because he genuinely cared for her well being.

Shade simply hums a reply at his brother's words, he does still not know the full story as it's clear his brother is very hesitant to speak about the past, but Shade considers this a huge victory. It means that maybe one day, Scar will feel comfortable sharing what causes him so much regret.

It's not today this mystery will be solved though and that's okay. There are other things Shade wants to know anyway. "From how quickly you recognized the symptoms, I say it's not the first time there's been a cat in the house." He has to bite his lip so as not to laugh in how embarrassed his brother has become.

"It isn't."

"Did you drag a cat home once?"

"... Maybe." Scar replies quietly, feeling very hot around his cheeks when his brother starts to laugh. Shade does, fortunately, try and restrain himself from laughing too loudly so they won't wake Harika and alarm Selena to come and check on them.

"Dear lord, I wish I could remember that..." Shade speaks through his laughter, that would've saved him from a lot of hassle but also give him a good laugh when feeling like it.

Scar does not reply, he's trying too hard putting on a stone-face but utterly fails in looking as if he does not care about this subject, too bad his cheeks are still burning.

Okay, maybe it's time to stop embarrass his younger brother. Shade sits up and after have emptied the cup. "I don't have any other allergy I should be aware of?"

"No."

"What about you?"

Scar shrugs. "Not what I am aware of." He hasn't yet gotten a reaction anything similar to his brother.

Shade turns his head slightly away, musing under his breath. "Lucky bastard..."

"Do you call this:" Scar points at the large scar that gave him his current name. "lucky?" He much rather wants to deal with an allergy or lousy eyesight than have this large reminder of what has happened to him.

"It didn't change much, you always got one ugly mug" Shade remarks matter of factly and eyeing his scowling brother about for a second, he burst out laughing.

Scar has no idea why, since Shade did insult him, but it did get a chuckle out from him.

* * *

 **I got this whole chapter by the silly thought of: "what if Scar's brother happens to be allergic to cats?" and I just rolled with it. I find it very amusing to think that Shade has a brother who loves cats but never able to have one in the house thanks to his allergy.**

 **I have cranked this cat allergy up to a ridiculous level for comedic effect- at least I think this is a super extreme reaction. All I am allergic to is perfume and that only gives me itchy eyes and skin if getting the stuff too close or onto my own skin. so I asked one of my friends who is allergic to horses and took how she explained it in how Shade would react having a feline near.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.** **  
**


	13. The Legend of Ishvala's bed

**This legend that will appear in this chapter is not canon to the manga, it's merely made as a world-building for the Ishvalan people.**

 **Many thanks to WargishBoromirFan, who has been so kind in beta reading my earlier chapters.**

* * *

Miles decides to invite Scar and his family to his home for dinner, thinking a more relaxing scenario might reveal a new side of Scar he won't be able to see when on the clock. Miles must admit that having the warrior monk in his home is somewhat weird and from how sheepish Scar seems to be, the scarred man probably feels weird about this as well. His brother, on the other hand, is thriving and already gotten in good talk with him and his wife. It is clear Shade likes to be around people, when he's not busy having his nose down in a book.

This dinner did help Miles to get a better understanding on who Shade is as a person, he never really got the chance before as he has been too busy with his military duties and only knew Shade from what Scar told him and the few interactions he withness between these two brothers.

But talking with Shade without having to worry about his duties, Miles can now see what Scar meant that his older brother is well-read in a lot of things other than just alchemy.

"And here I thought you only was a scholar when it comes to alchemy." Miles remarks after he and Shade finally reached the end of this very wide-range discussion about the different cultures between Amestris, Ishval, and even Xing. Must admit that he did have trouble keeping up a few times, but that didn't make the conversation less interesting. "Have you ever considered in becoming a teacher?"

"I have in fact, but I think my lessons are better suited for adults." Shade replies and is quite excited about the thought of teaching people in what he knows, but alas, there aren't any places where he can do such lessons. Maybe in time. "I do hope a university is part of the rebuilding plans. Think it will do everyone well that teaching won't stop when reaching adulthood."

That Miles can agree on, being a soldier of Brigs, he knows how important it is to learn new skills or hone those ones already has continuously. "When some of the other projects have been completed," he promises the scholar and glancing over to Scar, who is quietly sitting on the couch, watching the two girls play with his son Jessie. Miles quirks a smile in how awkward the once killer looks in these peaceful surroundings. "He looks like a lost puppy."

Shade follows the Major's gaze and chuckles of the sight as well. "He has always been like this when it comes to family gatherings." The smile fades of the realization of what he has just said, it caught Shade off guard that just like that, he suddenly remembers that his family had in the past been so much bigger. It leaves him with a bittersweet feeling; He is starting to remember the family but to know he, his brother and the two girls are all that remains...

Miles didn't notice the change in Shade's face, he's busier thinking about that although Scar does not thrive being a mediator or talking politics, the man is great at getting things done. "Your brother has been a great help in restoring Ishval. I wouldn't have been able to do half the tasks without his aid and I know, in time, you will do the same." Shade already has in some manners. The mulberry crops are starting to take shape and Miles has heard chatter here, and there from the Ishvalan people, they are beginning to get aware that Scar's older brother is still alive.

Shade laughs lightly at this expectation of the soldier has about him, he is, of course, flattered but doubts he can be of much help. "As it stands now, I don't have the slightest idea on what the Ishvalans want. All I know about our culture and lifestyle is what I read or what my brother tells me." Which reminds him of the legend his brother told him and the girls not long ago. "Oh, have you heard about the legend of Ishvala's bed? It's a good one."

"No," Miles shakes his head. "I only know it's the story about the underground river that flows through this region."

Well, in that case. Shade turns to where the kids are playing. "Hey, children; would you like to hear a story?" Harika and Selena both get very excited, they love to hear him tell them stories. They swiftly abandon Jessie's toys and run over to join Scar at the couth.

Miles son followed them in a slower and bit more hesitant manner, he takes a seat beside his mother, who wraps an arm around him. Miles chuckles at the girls' reaction but takes a seat as well.

Shade does too and lets Harika sit on his lap, however, he cannot tell this legend since he has (as he recalls) only heard it once. "Unfortunately I cannot tell this legend, so my dear brother has to tell you all about Ishvala's bed."

His brother lets out a small sigh of defeat. "Very well, "Long time ago, when our people were young…"

Shade listens along with the others, then suddenly his focus goes someone else inside his mind.

,,,,,,,,

 _Instead of sitting inside a living room, he finds himself standing on top of a small hill, watching large fields of cotton and wheat. He turns around when a_ squeaky _voice asks very impatient. "Brother, why are we here?" Behind him stands a very young boy, around Harika's age. He's scowling but it looks so silly on a child's face, and he has trouble in taking his little brother serious._

 _He smiles down to him, not really bothered by the inpatients coming from his little brother. "We're here for a small story about Ishval's history," he explains and starts walking down the hill, heading towards the fields._

 _His much younger brother_ follows _with an annoyed pout. "It's always about history lessons…" His brother grumbles, it is quite amusing but also a reminder that his little brother isn't really interested in the same things as him. "Can't we do something fun instead? Like playing like the rest of the kids?"_

 _He stops right where the fields start, figures a compromise between them will be in order. "What about this; after I have told you this story, we both will go out and play? Your choice where."_

 _His brother frowns eases somewhat up. "Promise?"_

 _"With the duty giving to me of being your older brother, I promise to go out and play with you." He answers, trying to act solum but he's a kid too and did have trouble keeping a straight face, did not mean he was going to break his promise though._

 _His brother did seem to take this as a good enough answer. "Fine, so what's the story?" He asks in a voice that he just want this over with so they can go out and play._

 _He smiles victories and begins to walk again, his little brother follows. "A long time ago, our god Ishvala saw how one of his creations; the humans struggled in the lands giving to them. Ishvala's daughter; the sky, rarely gave up her precious water, the very thing that kept life going. So Ishvala decided to speak with her. "Audra, please let the humans get some of your water. I cannot bear watching them struggle like this." Audra looked down to the lands and saw how hard life was for everyone and she felt pity, so she agreed but under one condition: "I will give your creation my water, father, but only if you make a place for it to flow." So Ishvala did by carving a canyon into his own flesh and Audra created a river, giving the Ishvalan's all the water they could ever need. Everyone loved this river of Audra, Ishval blossomed into fertile lands, and everything was great._

 _But Ishvala's oldest son; Cyrus the sun, he loved the river too much, adored how he could see his own reflection but forgot his rays of light evaporated the water and robbed everyone the precious water of Audra. But ever the arrogant sun did not care; all he wanted was look at himself in the river. He was so busy adoring himself that he forgot to leave the sky and the lands got hotter and hotter until the plants started to die, the eyes of the humans got a permanent burn, never again turning into different colors other than the fiery red of the sun, a gift Cyrus unknowingly gave the creations of his father._

 _Ishvala was enraged by how his oldest son's arrogance and laziness in not doing the duty giving to him. Ishvala knew that although his creations were durable, they wouldn't be able to handle the heat of Cyrus for much longer, and thus he told the sun: "Cyrus, stop staring at yourself! Your rays are not only is burning my creations but taking the water your sister gave them. Forget your arrogance and focus on the duty I gave you!"_

 _But the Cyrus refused. "Your words mean little to me now, father. I want to look at myself, and you can create plants and creatures that can handle my beautiful rays better if those you have dies. I will not let my twin sister take the sky and turn the sky cold and dull."_

 _"Your foolishness knows no bounds, Cyrus," Ishvala called out and knew that he has to be smart in punishing his arrogant son. His creations still needed Cyrus's warm rays but like any good thing, too much makes it bad. So Ishvala took the very thing Cyrus had his entire focus on; the river and pulled it into his own flesh, where the sun could not see or reach it._

 _Cyrus was annoyed at his father and left the sky now there was nothing worth his attention anymore, thanks to his intense rays has burned away the plants. Ishvala's people were horrified of their creator's action and cried out. "Oh great Ishvala, how can we survive without Audra's water? Do you want us to perish?"_

 _"Fear not my children," Ishvala replied to them. "I will teach you how to reach the river inside my body. But you have to work hard and be careful about how you use the water from now on. Cyrus wants to see his reflection again and will always be looking after the river."_

 _His people understood, they were happy that the sun's arrogance hadn't led to their demise. And thus Ishvala told his people that he hid the river at the place he once slept; the bed of creation and showed how they could find it inside the earth that made out his body."_

 _He gestures out to the fields where they could see a sort of carving into the ground and unlike the fields, this carving into the ground wasn't made by Ishvalans but of natural causes. "You can see Ishvala's bed clearly here, it was here he carved the river into his own flesh." He walks over to one of the many wells located right above the underground river and pulls up the bucket filled with water. He hands this bucket to his younger brother. "And that's the story about Ishvala's bed and why we can only find the water of Auda deep below ground." He reaches into the bucket and makes himself a handful of nice cold water. "So, what do you think?"_

 _His brother frowns deepen. "So… we are drinking the water of Ishvala's bed?" His young brother asks in such a serious and confused tone that does not fit a young boy such as him._

 _He coughs up the handful of water he was trying to drink, it's like his brother hadn't heard the story at all! But he cannot be angry for that question is just too golden hilarious. "Oh no, the area the river got pulled into was once god's bed, not the river itself." He tries to explain while coughing the water that almost got down into his lungs from laughing at his brother's mistake._

 _His brother gaze turns back to the bucket of water. "Oh, okay. For that would've been gross."_

 _He can't keep it together anymore, he breaks down laughing in how his little brother thought the river to be Ishvala's sweat._

 _His younger brother didn't understand the major blunder he did, only that his big brother has collapsed onto the ground in hysterical laughter. "What's so funny?! Brother, stop laughing!"_

 _,,,,,,,,_

Shade snaps back into the present and even with a headache, has to cover his mouth so he won't burst out laughing from this sudden trip through memory lane. Now he sees why he found the story so amusing back when he first heard it. That memory is hilarious!

"—and why we can only find water deep below ground." Shade hears his brother finish up. Fortunately, no one has noticed him being on the edge of breaking down in laughter— scratch that, Selena has noticed, but she's not making the rest aware. Instead, she is watching him curiously of what he found so funny. And he will tell her, for this is too golden of an opportunity to mess with his tough-guy brother.

"That's some story." Miles must admit and knows there is something to this legend as Ishval gets its water from underground, but only certain places as the people from the desert keep telling him. "You have to show me how to spot the underground river."

Scar simply nods, his eyes do wide slightly in a strange horror when Shade suddenly speaks in a sly voice to him. "You wasn't much older than Harika when I told you this story, and god the thing you took from it!" Shade laughs much to Miles confusion, more so when the younger brother of the two turns to him with an angry, yet horrified glare.

"Don't you dare…!" Scar growls, but it's not like his brother will stop embarrassing him every chance he gets.

Shade ignores his brother and with the biggest grin Miles has ever seen him wear, the older brother asks the children. "You know what brother thinks makes out the river of Ishval?" and suddenly, Shade lies on the floor with a very pissed Scar over him, Miles jumps onto his feet, worried the nameless Ishvalen might hurt his brother. He stops when Shade jag his fingers hard into both of Scar's legs, making the scarred man drops to the floor like a ragdoll. It startles both him and Miles, the latter did recover quickly, though. "Brother!" Scar cries annoyed.

He probably will get a beaten for this, but it will be worth it: Shade gets up and tells the dumbstruck crowd. "He thought the river was the sweat of Ishvala when he was sleeping!"

Several things happen at the same time, the children all cried: "Ewwww~!" to then laugh and cringe at the same time, and Scar has his head buried under his hands in sheer embarrassment. His brother is sitting up beside him with a grin of victory, truly enjoying tormenting his younger brother.

Miles can't help himself, he laughs. Not at what Shade said, it was a young and dumb kid mistake but that Scar- one who barely show any emotions when on duty, is cringing in embarrassment like a teenager would've done when a parent share silly stories about them to others. Miles wanted to see a new side of Scar and he got it, now to hear what the tormenter did to his co-worker. "What did you do to him? Is he alright?"

Shade waves his left hand at the Major. "He's fine, I didn't disrupt his flow that much," he claps his brother over the head with the right. "He should be able to move in a minute or—"

That's it, he's going down! Scar jumps at his brother but whatever Shade did to his legs hasn't entirely faded and instead of grabbing his brother as intended, Scar tumbles into Shade in such a manner that it looks like he hasn't learned how to walk. Embarrassing for a warrior monk such as him, but it didn't matter for Scar caught his brother.

Miles jumps a bit surprised by the sudden move from Scar and how ungraceful that whole move was, like watching a drunk trying to walk. He would've laughed but ignores the comical sight when he realized that Scar is holding his brother in a manner that did strain Shade's still fragile right arm. "Careful Scar, your brother hasn't fully recovered." He warns the scarred man.

"Don't care," Scar growls, he's too embarrassed and annoyed that his brother AGAIN told that part of the story. Of all the things he could've remembered; it just had to be that!

His embarrassment anger grows when his brother has the audacity of saying. "Oh, there is the temper tantrum I remember. I was wondering where it went."

He smacks his brother's head with a hard: "Don't be a smartass! You won't be able to sit for a week when I'm done with you!"

"Only a week? Have you forgotten the week's practice again, little brother?" Shade laughs, even if his brother is holding his automail arm in a manner that hurts, getting such a reaction out from him is too much fun. "Been too busy tending the local cats, I wager," that tease did earn him a small beating from his pissed brother, but he did not care. In fact, Shade tries to put up a fight and thanks to Scar's legs still not fully functional, he got a proper footing and toppled over his brother. Holding both hands on Scar's shoulderblades, Shade points out. "Behind that angry frown, you're nothing but a big softie."

Scar easily pushes him off and now with his legs fully function again, catches his brother in a headlock, Shade tries but won't be able to get free. "You're one to talk brother," Scar smirks and gives his brother a nuggy, something he knows Shade hates. He ignores his brother's outcry and instead uses the chance to return the favor by tormenting his older brother. "You study too much, it's a wonder you can still move." and flick off Shade's glasses. "You have already ruined your eyes by it."

"I needed them long before I knew how to read! Now let go off me!"

Miles rolls his eyes of the two adult men roughhousing as if they were teenagers, but he must say it's endearing to watch. It feels like seeing the person this nameless Ishvalan was before he became Scar. Watching Scar now, roughhousing with his brother and showing genuine joy when Selena joins in tormenting the still trapped in a headlock Shade.

Miles thinks he likes this person better than the harden, remorseful, and somewhat tired of life man he has been working with these past three years. But watching this new side of Scar, it does make him wonder; "Scar, how old are you?" Miles asks the scarred man when he finally leaves his brother alone. Scar frowns slightly at this question, but this is the first time Miles has been wondering if the man he has been working with is not as old as he seemed.

Miles has for all this time believing Scar to be in the late forties, but now he's not so sure for Shade does not look that old and Miles knows Shade is three years older than Scar. "Seriously, how old are you?" He asks again as this question wasn't meant to make him stop playing around with his family.

Scar, of course, did not answer, and Shade is not of much help either as the man merely says; "Don't look at me, I don't even know when it's my birthday." and reclaims his glasses.

Miles sights and do wonder if he should ask some of the Ishvalans, who knew his co-worker before he became Scar, if they could tell him that Scar is actually younger than he at first appeared- that and perhaps ask when it's both those two brothers birthday.

* * *

 **Before any of you get on my throat about Scar's age, let me just say that we really don't know how old he is. As far as I am aware, the manga never mentions Scar's age and the wiki page is unreliable since it can be edited by anyone, so appearance is really all we can take.**

 **This is just me, but I sort of like the idea that Scar might be younger than he appears, that he looks older from how worn out he has become from not only have lost everything he held dear but also has continuously been fighting ever since the war started.**

 **also, what date do you think is Scar and Shade's birthday?**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.** **  
**


	14. The search of the hidden books

**Many thanks to WargishBoromirFan, who has been so kind in beta reading some of my earlier chapters.**

 **This might be the last chapter you will get, I haven't gotten much response and gives me the sense people do not care about this story.**

* * *

"Brother"

Scar and Miles turn around, both quite surprised seeing Shade come trotting over to them. "What is it?" Scar asks him, wondering what has caused his brother to leave the town just to find him instead of waiting for his return at evening like he usually does.

Shade takes a deep breath, Scar recognizes it from when his brother was about to speak something that has been bothering him, which once again is proven correct.

"This has been annoying me for weeks now, and it's driving me insane!" Shade exclaims to the two men, both staring dumbfounded in what he's talking about. Well, they are about to know what has been bothering him. "I keep getting episodes every time people mention books, and if we don't solve this mystery right now; I will do something more worth my brother's behavior."

Scar sends his brother a look for has used him in his way of speaking, but it does make its point that these thoughts have been spinning inside Shade's head for too long.

"Episodes?" Miles asks confused, and Scar quickly explains, "it's when he remembers something but cannot grasp what it is."

The Major nods and both turn back to Shade who continues. "I don't know where, but I think I hid some important books somewhere."

Scar blinks by that statement. "Aren't you sure you simply think about the books you had in your former home?" His brother did after all have the whole house filled with books and scrolls. Which probably all are destroyed by now.

But Shade somehow doubts it has anything to do with his alchemy books back when he created this hybrid alchemy of his. His brother might not believe it, but he does find other things way more important than alchemy, and this gives him such a sense. "I highly doubt it, " He answers his brother and urges him. "but, you better check my old home for clues to this mystery." And he better do it soon for he has more than considered of taking his horse and go to Kanda himself. The only reason he hasn't gone there is that he, first; does not know the way and second; is a bit afraid of what horrible memories might be released if he steps into that city.

He gets the feeling the importance of this subject to his brother, it's a wonder he hasn't left to check it up by himself. Scar's though glad his brother didn't and will make sure this book mystery is his first priority before Shade does decide to solve this himself. "I will check your old home," he replies his brother, whose whole posture drops in relief. Yeah, this must've been bothering him for quite some time.

Miles agrees too, and the two men go to Kanda in search of whatever books that keep bothering Shade's mind. "It sounded like he would've gone himself if you haven't agreed." Miles remarks

"He would," Scar replies knowingly. "if something keeps bothering him; he will go almost any length in solving it." And after a moment of silence. "Last time this happened, he went through the Respected families lineage; got more read on it than our father." But he has no idea what his brother got out from those dusty old scrolls, only that it made him very unpopular by one of the scholars at the university, got so bad that their mother had to step in and stop the hostilities. "No one can really stop him when he sets his mind to it."

"Not even his younger brother?" Miles asks, he has taken notice in how those two are around one another but does wonder if Scar here has as much effect on his brother as Shade has on him.

"I think I'm the only one." Scar muses, pretty sure his brother never did any alchemy in the past because he hated it so much. He wonders if things might have been different if he hasn't loathed alchemy. Would things have ended differently? He'll never know the answer to that question.

Miles watches Scar quietly, seeing the man frowns from his thoughts, makes him wonder what Scar is thinking about. The curiosity gets the better of him. "What's on your mind, Ishvalan?"

But Scar doesn't tell him.

In the Kanda district, Scar brings Miles towards the place where Shade's former home is presumably located. The scarred man does slow down slightly in the area where not only the most destruction occurred but also where they found the most skeletons of the deceased. Scar never told him, but Miles has a feeling that this is the spot where he became the scarred man he is today.

Scar seems to be walking down memory lane for a moment, then he leaves and Miles quietly follows, well aware that it would be disrespectful in talking in a moment such as this.

They arrive at a street that has its fair share of damage but not as much as the area further down, here Scar walks inside a building and Miles follows. It looks to have belonged to Shade, but there isn't much but rubble, ruined and unreadable books lying around this place. Miles takes one of these books but can't read more than a few lines from how withered the book has become from being exposed to the weather and animal life. "Like many of the other houses, it looks like your brother left in a hurry." He voices, this scene of a home that still held the objects of the owner, only destroyed by the weather and wildlife showed that time has moved, that has been something Miles has seen a lot in the three years working in Ishval.

Scar looks around the room, for a moment thrown back to when he has been watching his brother study his alchemy; remembering the many books lying around and his brother sitting before the table, deeply engulfed in his work. He blinks back to the present and takes notices of what is missing of this destroyed scene. "There are not enough books," he says. There is only about five, maybe ten lying around but that is nothing compared to the piles and crates of written work he saw his brother having around. He checks the rest of the rooms but finds not a single trace of paper of any kind.

Stranger still, the shelf his brother used to store his books is completely empty except a metal box.

There's nothing significant about this box other than it seems to be the only thing that has survived. Scar reaches out to take it and blinks when realizing that this box won't budge from its spot. Taking a closer look, he observes that the arm transfer hasn't been the first time his brother used alchemy, for this little box has been transmuted into the shelf. Scar opens the small box and blinks in finding a family heirloom in the sign of a ring, the one their father gave his brother when it was decided he soon would take a few responsibilities as the future head of the family. Shade had been so proud, but also nervous when he got the ring.

This ring holds the family crest, the holy scarf flowing around the Ishvalan icon of god, below the symbol is three flowers uniquely to Ishval as they are one of the few florae able to grow in the desert. This ring- this crest is a reminder to all Ishvalans that this family line is part of the Respected families, for only those are allowed to bear such a personal crest and according to his brother, their family is one of the oldest still in existence. But that's all Scar know, he never understood the importance of their lineage and feels silly about not having read up on the importance of their family history. All he knows that his family was known to produce monks, be well-connected traders and revealing one's family name to other Ishvalans will make ones words hold significant influence. Scar wonders if his family name had been what made so many of his people rally behind him at the Promise Day, maybe, for why else would they have followed a nameless killer of vengeance such as him?

Scar takes the ring and hears a small click from the box. Before Scar can check what click was for, a loud creaking sound makes him turn around. Miles remove his foot from the floor, being just as surprised as him. Both eye one another before Miles kneels down to checks the spot and the mystery to what the ring activated gets solved. It proves that this hidden panel only would loosen up when the ring gets removed from the box.

Miles reaches down to this small panel and pulls up several books. Scar makes a quick look and realizes that the reason to why there weren't many books lying around was because his brother hid them down in this secret panel.

"This must be what Shade's mind kept bothering him about." Miles voices his thoughts and takes up the last book from the hidden spot.

Scar thought so as well, that until he noticed a notebook that didn't have his brother's neat handwriting. He blinks confused to see his cousin's crude scribbles. It is one of the better ones for this time he can read whatever she wrote. But what is one of Shireen's notebook doing among his brother's research books?

He opens the notebook and has to take a moment to decipher her scribbles. When he does, he freezes up. These notes aren't about whatever deal she and her parents have made from their many stalls or what goods the traders brought, no they are names on Ishvalan books and writings. Every single page holds lines upon lines of writings the Ishvalan people no longer have. Most of their writings got destroyed during the war. Is this what his brother's mind kept bugging him about? "What were you planning?" He muses in wonder and wises he could ask Shireen but like his parents… she died from Kimbley's attack. The only solace was that when they found her bones and some doctor did an autopsy, it revealed that she died quickly from a blast that took out most of her upper body. Scar is glad that she did not suffer.

Miles turns to Scar, watching him stare at one messy written notebook, "Anything interesting?"

Scar slowly nods. "Yes, this notebook was written by our cousin, Shireen."

Miles faintly remember Scar mention that name, back in the start of rebuilding Ishval, they spent the first year on the simple but straining task in gathering all of the dead and figure out the name on each skeleton. Dr. Knox was a great help, and the Ishvalan people were very grateful the doctor did this for them, but everyone could clearly see that it was hard for the survivors.

It had been hard for Scar as well, back then he thought he was the only one left of his family and Miles had helped him in properly burying his parents, uncle, aunt, cousin and even several family friends. All those people died during the massacre. Miles remembers how distraught Scar had been when they couldn't find his brothers bones. But none really found it overly strange, it wasn't unusual that would happen and even to this day; a lot of the deaths hasn't been found or named. There was just too much destruction and dead to knowing each name of the bones they found. It had been one of the few times Scar had told him about his family, explained, although briefly on each of his family members as they buried the bones. One of them had been Shireen.

Scar had told that she was a hardworking, extremely loyal but scatterbrain to a woman. Miles could hear that Scar loved his cousin and hated her life to have been cut short, all because she refused to leave her family behind.

"Any idea to why one of her belongings are here?" Miles asks his comrade.

Scar has no idea. Yes Shireen cared deeply for everyone in the family, even his brother, hence why she would help him get books about alchemy and get in contact with Xingese traders for the alkahestry scrolls but Shireen could not for the life of her understand what his brother was talking about and that made it hard for both to have a proper conversation. His brother loved to get down into details while Shireen wanted things to be simple, so the only reason they spoke with one another was that they were family. "No, Shireen did not have any interest in brother's studies." But looking through the notebook, it seems she and brother have been working together on some sort of project; involving many of their writings. The reason why Scar is not sure— hold up. Scar flips to the last page, instead of names on books, there are instead small sentences with a question mark.

He frowns at this as this does not make much sense, all except one of these written questions.

'do Tanvir know good places?'

He tries to think back to past conversations with her, anything to do with books. He can only think of one.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 _He had just left his brother after yet another fight about alchemy, it had put him in a sour mood. He went down the streets of Kanda, at first he was too angry to hear someone call for him, only noticed when Shireen practically ran into him and dropped a lot of scrolls she held onto the ground. A lot of people began to stare at the scene._

 _"I'm sorry!" She apologized embarrassed and began to gather up the scattered scrolls, he helped her and wasn't really surprised to see her here, Shireen did spend a lot of time at the market, writing down the prizes on each ware for her parents own business._

 _"I only meant to tap on your shoulder, but I miscalculated my speed and—"_

 _"It's alright." He interrupted her, trying to be kind but he was still angry at his brother. He noticed she gave him a nervous stare and he assured her. "It's not you I am angry at."_

 _Shireen face drops slightly. "Got into another fight with him?" She asks while correcting her hood, this took him off guard, if she was aware of the tension between him and his brother, then their arguing must've been worse than he thought._

 _He nodded slowly but did not speak of what their recent fights were about. Instead, he asked his clumsy cousin. "Something you need my help with?"_

 _She jumped as if she forgot about it, typical her. "Oh! Yes, yes, I was hoping you could help me with something. You see, I am trying to find a good spot, one filled with memories to our people but eh, I don't really know… I asked your brother, and he told me to ask you, but if you're too busy, I guess…"_

 _He raised a brow at her river of words but had long decided not to question why his cousin did what she did. It was like asking seeds for the fields to land in a straight line. "What kind of place are you thinking about?"_

 _Shireen stops her blabbering and replies to him with a shrug. "Not sure, I was merely thinking about a place most Ishvalans would know about. Like the bed of Ishvala."_

 _Ah yes, for the Amestrians, Shireen's last words wouldn't make a lick of sense but for their people, it would. He nodded slowly and after some thinking about a place both holy or just significant for their people. "What about the rock formation that is the playground for every child of Kanda?" They weren't sacred or essential for others than the children of Kanda, yes even he and brother had spent their childhood playing on those rocks._

 _Shireen blinks a few times to then gasp out loud. "Of course! That's a perfect place!" She hit her own palm with her fist and beamed up to him. "Thank you cousin!" and ran off, she did stop and turned to him with that known face she just had remembered something. "Oh, would you mind I borrowed some of your books?" She called, "I don't have them yet in the collection."_

 _He had no idea what she was talking about, Shireen wasn't known to hoard books like his brother. "Why are you collecting books?" He asked her._

 _"Well, Shahill and I talked about the war— he said he was too busy so asked me to handle this for him and dear lord it's quite some task, but he had a point. We cannot let it peris— oh which reminds me; I should ask your mother if I could get some of—"_

 _He had to stop her there before his scatterbrain cousin really got started on that river of hers. "You can take whatever book you like, Shireen. Be sure to return them in good condition." He didn't have as many books as brother, mostly those he got was used for his monk training and those he would be really miffed if they got ruined._

 _"Of course, thanks again for the help." and with that, Shireen ran off to do whatever she was doing._

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Scar stared down to Shireen's scribbles of books, he noticed that in the middle of the many notes are the scripture of Ishvala and scroll every monk got during their training.

Could this be what she was collecting? It does not sound like her to do such a thing. Shireen was a woman who didn't think much about the future- at least he never got that impression from her. Perhaps he was wrong.

Checking on the note to question him, Scar realizes that his cousin perhaps asked about significant locations because she was planning on hiding something there. And looking at the many books written in the note, Scar has a feeling she might have hidden a very big box. Perhaps several from the number of books in her notes.

"This might be what brother was talked about," he tells Miles after he explained what Shireen's notes were about, he does not blame Miles for being unable to read his cousin's crude writings. "She must've hidden all of these books somewhere and asked my brother to keep these notes safe."

Scar might have a point, this does seem to be very important, but these notes only say what might be hidden, not where. "Now the question, where did your cousin hide them?" Miles wonders out loud, finding these books will be a great aid in restoring Ishval religion and give Scar a break in sharing his knowledge about it.

Scar ponders only for a moment, Shireen wasn't known to be a brilliant planer and his second last memory about her proves that. She wanted a location, one he gave her, and she revealed perhaps a second location to him as well. She must have made a map or something to remember those locations, better ask some of her friends.

Scar know at least one of Shireen's friends have survived, so he, along with Miles headed over to where traders unload their wagons with goods for people working here in Kanda before moving on to the other cities. As hoped, they find one of Shireen's friends. Scar greets him, and after having exchanged the usual 'how are you' talk, Scar asks the man if he remembered his cousin.

The man nodded that he indeed did and Scars asks him, "did she ever speak about collecting books to you?"

The friend pondered for a minute before he replies. "Well, not really. But I remember she was weirder than usual when the talk about the military destroying everything in their path really started to swirl among us. She gave us all gifts and…" He walks over to his horse's saddlebag and pulls out a large scroll. He hands this to Shireen's cousin. "This: she told us it was incredibly important we kept it."

Another of the mechanist hears the conversation and join with; "are you talking about Shireen? I have one of the scrolls as well." She pulls one out, unlike the male friend, hers is quite torn.

Scar unrolls the one the male handed him and his eyes wide in seeing a map of their holy lands, at several essential locations for their people, crossed along with Shireen's scribbles. One of them is the children rock formation, one somewhere on Ishvala's bed. Another at where their biggest temple for Ishvala should've been, one at a known oasis most of the traders are passing when crossing the desert between them and Xing. The last is located at a well-known spot for his family.

"Can I keep this?" He asks the man, the trader friend of Shireen nods and with thanks, Scar leaves; thinking that he had greatly underestimated his cousin, but also his brother.

If his memories serve him right, Shireen did mention his brother in that talk about collecting books.

Scar gets the feeling that his brother might be right in that he knows something about books, he must've at some point helped Shireen in hiding a large stash of their written works. And it seems both wanted to be sure that those books not only will survive but that only an Ishvalan will be able to find them.

Scar brings Miles to a hill not far away from the city of Kanda. On the way up the hill, Scar explains the soldier. "This place does not hold much significance for our people but for my family." He walks over to the lonely tree, something which is a rarity out here in the desert. It got quite the beaten during the onslaught of the war but like any Ishvalans; this tree has endured. "Our parents and grandparents proposed to one another at this tree." Scar puts his right hand onto this tree, feeling relieved to see it is growing leaves again. Last time he saw the tree, it was when he became Scar, and he thought, like anything else, it had died. Glad he was wrong. "Father wouldn't stay quiet in his wish brother and I would do the same."

Miles chuckles faintly at Scar's dad hints. "Sounds like your dad wanted you to keep the tradition."

Scar merely nods and begins to search the area. Miles does as well, he spots what looks to be a grave and calls for the scarred man. The stone there has the same crest as that ring Scar took from his brother's house. "Any family you have buried here?" He asks.

He knows there aren't any family members buried here and this stone is not a gravestone, the text is wrong. The usual text is wishing the deceased to find peace with God is lacking. Instead, the message says: ' _Ishval only fall when last of its people forgets who they are.'_

It sounds very much like something his brother would've said. 

Scar translates the text to Miles and the soldier asks just to be sure. "You don't write that on gravestones, do you?"

Scar shakes his head. "No, we write; 'may this soul be welcomed and embraced by Ishvala; the creator of all. Those they left behind find comfort in one another.'" He explains and turns to the fake grave. "This is not a grave. We better get some shovels." For if he stands correct, then everyone in Ishval wants what is buried down there.

They head back into the city and not only get the needed tools but also two Ishvalans to help with the excavation.

The four starts to dig away the dirt. After about an hour of digging, Miles's shovel hits something. The soldier puts down his shovel and removes the last dirt with his hands. He blinks when the top of a very big metal chest appears. Removing further the earth and slowly the whole chest is visible.

Scar stares at this metal chest for a moment, remembering how deeply he frowned when he saw it inside his brother's house and how his brother had made an excuse he needed more storeroom for his books, but now Scar sees it wasn't really to store his own books.

He opens the chest and like the two other Ishvalans; is quite surprised see it filled to the top with scrolls and books.

One of the men takes one of the books and gasps after he has read a few lines. "This is our holy scrip of Ishvala!" he exclaims shocked, like many thought it has been lost thanks to the war.

The other one says after have read the scroll he has taken, "and this one is the poet of Thalia. It must be the only copy left." He muses awestruck that the poet of their ancient city in the east has survived.

Both turn to him and the youngest of the two asks their nameless comrade. "Did you save our writings?"

Scar shakes his head, very happy that both his brother and cousin had been scheming together. "No, my brother and cousin did all of this,"

That pretty much explains everything for the two others, and they chuckle with one of them saying. "Thinking about people this far out, yeah that sounds like Shahill alright."

Scar tries not to let it show that hearing his brother's name affected him, but it's hard, more so when his brother currently bears a name so unworthy of him.

Miles stop checking the chest filled with writings and turn to the two chuckling Ishvalans at the name they said. "Shahill?" Could that be Shade's name? The Ishvalan who spoke the name said it in such high respect, like the soldiers of Brigs would to General Armstrong.

The youngest of the two Ishvalans blinks and turns to Scar with: "Haven't you told him?"

"No," Scar replies and refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "I'm not worthy of speaking his name."

The oldest of the Ishvalans nods slowly in understanding and after a moment, asks the younger brother of the man. "Would you mind if I tell him?"

Scar shakes his head but does request the man. "Don't mention my name."

The Ishvalan nods before he turns to the bit confused Miles.

"This man's older brother name was Shahill; he who guides."

Miles blinks, he knows from some of the elders that Scar's last name is Adel, but from how the Ishvalan said the previous sentence, it sounds important. "He who guides?" He repeats confused.

"That was the name our priests gave him when he became a scholar and used his knowledge to guide our people to a better future." The man explained, turning to his comrade when he speaks: "That's why most of us were alright with him studying alchemy."

The man glances to Scar before turning back to Miles. "Although many wanted him to use his alchemy to fight against the State Alchemists, we all knew deep down that Shahill wouldn't have done it. He never believed that violence would solve anything, but that teaching would. He was a pacifist and a scholar who did his best to help people to reach an absolute understanding," dropping his head slightly. "His death was a great loss to Ishval…"

Scar feels like it would be best to tell them that Ishval hasn't lost the head of the Adel family. "My brother is still alive," Scar tells his fellow Ishvalans, both turn to him in shock.

"He's alive? How did he survive?" One of them asks dumbfounded

"He was saved by a fleeing family, they sought refuge in Xing." Scar explains them, and he hates to break their joy, but it has to be said. "Unfortunately brother has lost his memories, forgotten his entire life in Ishval." The memories are slowly returning, though, which brought; not only for his brother but for him as well, several headaches.

The two men's faces drop, the oldest muses. "That's too bad, but even so, it's good to know that he's alive." and turns to the stash of books, "we should bring them back. Not only to save what remains of our writings but copying them will give our people some much-needed work."

That Scar can agree on and is happy that the memories of his family are still helping out their people in returning back to their former glory.

On the way back, Miles has to ask Scar now he knows Shade's actual name. "I can speak it to him." But it seems it's not that easy.

"My brother is determent; it will be me revealing his name." Scar replies sullenly and in a tone of hopelessness.

Miles frowns, this is one of the things he does not understand about Ishvalan culture; the whole naming thing, which has made it a pain in the ass for everyone not Ishvalan. "You two are really making this a bigger deal than it is. You're bothered by the name he currently has and yet you are refusing to tell him his real name out of misplaced respect."

Scar shoots him a sharp stare and his next words did sting a little. "You may bear the eyes, but you do not know the importance of our god or the name he gave each of us."

However, Miles is quick to return fire by asking hard, "and you think that gives you the excuse in withholding your own brother's name?"

Scar did not answer, much to Miles annoyance.

Why do Ishvalens have to be so darn stubborn?

* * *

 **Think it's about time I reveal my headcanon name of Shade. I don't think it's a real name as I did create it out from the name Shadi.**

 **I can be wrong though and if you know if this is a real name, do tell me where's it is from and what it means.**

 **I am very interested to know.**

 **The 'name of the people' title is headcanon of mine. I have long kept on the one I gave Shahill and even has one for Scar as well, and I do hope in time I can reveal this title for Scar.**

 **comments and such will be a great, as it will tell me if you guys like this story or I should simply keep it to myself.**


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